Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2014-11-07 12:04 am
azurelunatic) wrote2014-11-07 12:04 am
Much ado about junk mail
Pillow fort: didn't happen.
Abduction by #cupcake for the purposes of an ice-cream walk: happened.
Azz: What the fuck why did Outlook 2013 turn on the goddamn junk mail filter THE CORPORATE JUNK MAIL FILTER KEEPS MY INBOX PLENTY CLEAN ENOUGH IN FACT IT MAY BE SLIGHTLY OVERZEALOUS AS IT BLOCKED MY FRIEND'S EXIT PAPERWORK AND AT LEAST TWO CUSTOMER REPLIES. Also virtualhammer is on my Outlook whitelist so WHY DID OUTLOOK BLOCK INTERNAL EMAIL LISTS DOES IT HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST MAILMAN SHIT SON
Tech support: Here's how to find the blacklist on your Samsung phone!
Azz: Questions I didn't ask: "How do I find the blacklist on my phone?" Questions I did ask: WHAT THE SHIT IS OUTLOOK SMOKING I THINK IT MAY BE LEGAL IN ALASKA NOW.
Mr. Zune: How many times can I tell you to disable the spam filter before you beat me with your cane?
Other Tech Support, on not!Facebook: soooo about that corporate junk mail filter ... heh ... funny story ... but everyone involved was re-educated, if you know what I mean. But anyway you should all go check your filters to see what it caught because it could be important.
Co-workers: That's nice to know, but have you considered posting this places other than not!Facebook?
Other Tech Support: We don't want to spam people though! And not!Facebook is the platform of choice for updates like this! Make a note in your Trapper Keepers!
Co-workers: No, seriously, this is super-important.
Other Tech Support: ... You make a good point. I'll take it back to my bossen.
Co-workers: And maybe you could talk with the filter people and see if you can release the non-junk automatically?
Other Tech Support: Also a good idea. We'll keep you posted.
Azz: All y'all fuckers need to sit down and re-evaluate PRIORITIES here. I know of one motherfucker who has been trying to unsubscribe from the LADIES IN TECH: AWESOME AMIRITE? announcements (which are sent to vh-all@) for two weeks. (Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome, but it's not mission-critical.) THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE WITH THE MAIL FILTER is mission-critical. Not!Facebook needs to be manually activated and you're not automatically put in the "important news from IT" group. Which means you are sending these messages to far short of 100% of the crew, and you are sending LADIES IN TECH to 100% of the crew. Y'all. Re-evaluate. I have a loon beak and I know how to use it.
lb: ... you seriously mean to say that they are sending out announcements about serious infrastructure issues through not!Facebook, where they let any social media specialist competent enough to not chew on his iPhone send out announcements about a marketing meeting that you SIMPLY CAN'T MISS, causing people to turn off the not!Facebook notification emails and where you have a notification that about 100 messages are waiting for you and some small percentage of the ones flagged as important might actually be important!?!?
Azz: Clearly I did not swear enough in my comment to Other Tech Support.
Unrelated to the above except that it also involves the same IT infrastructure geniuses:
Azz: Ah, since my Overlady has left and I'm not getting bouncebacks from her alias address, I should instruct IT to turn it off. Since otherwise it will meander about as a zombie forever.
Helldesk: *has a form for that*
Azz: Oh, helpful! Thank you!
Helldesk: So, owner of the mailing list to deactivate?
Azz: O-V-E-R ... aww, *fuck*.
Helldesk: I think you meant to type: [list of employees who have not left the building]
Azz: Yeah no. *leaves blank*
Helldesk: No no, that's a required field.
Azz: *fills in manager's name* PLEASE DISREGARD THIS FIELD WHICH IS WRONG IT MADE ME FILL IT IN AND I AM FILING ANOTHER TICKET FORTHWITH *submits*
Azz: *new ticket* SO ABOUT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS LOGIC HERE, PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING SCENARIO...
Azz: ... AND IN CONCLUSION, IF YOU SAY "JUST PUT THEIR MANAGER'S NAME" ALSO CONSIDER THAT ONCE THE FORMER EMPLOYEE HAS DISAPPEARED FROM THE ORG CHART IT'S NO LONGER POSSIBLE TO FIND THEIR GODDAMN MANAGER KTHXBAI
Mr. Zune: *absconds with Azz for ice cream*
Helpdesk Guy: *calls*
Helpdesk Guy: *leaves 0-second voicemail*
Helpdesk Guy: *updates ticket* So um, did you want to reassign the ownership of this list to [manager] or did you really want it deleted?
Azz: ... what part of DELETE THIS SHE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING PLZ DISREGARD INCORRECT FIELD did you miss, dude? DELETE IT.
Lunch with Purple. Despite the extra-full parking lot, very few of the usual suspects were around for lunch. Purple and I wound up having a nice quiet end of the table to ourselves.
Whatever they did to the pulled pork at the taco station was not good: it was somewhat sweet, which would have possibly been all right if it had had any amount of salt, which it did not. I asked Purple to pass the salt, by which he concluded that I did not have the chicken burrito, as he'd had an encounter with the same pulled pork earlier that week.
Purple's taking the entirety of Thanksgiving week off, and may not leave his condo during that time. He may therefore be absent from the Seanan party.
I observed my grandmanager showing up at an external cafeteria door, plate in one hand and cellphone held to the ear with the other. He stood there sort of uncertain what to do now until someone got up to let him in. Shortly thereafter, he was seen at the badged exit into the rest of the building, cellphone in one hand on one ear and other hand on other ear to block noise, spinning in circles until the other people near the door opened it and he was able to walk through with them.
Purple then defined the term "telepathetic". He removed the salt shaker from by my plate. "Hey!" "And instead of asking someone to pass the salt, you just stare at it looking pathetic until someone hands it to you." He moved it back. Then he took it away again, quickly returning it after I gave him The Look (not a pathetic one, an "I'm not wearing the loon beak RIGHT NOW, mister, but..." one).
Somewhere partway through the afternoon, a piece of network infrastructure went biting-pear-shaped and fucked the network but gloriously. That was a bit not good. Side effects included utter hosing of the thing which you need to authenticate through in order to get to the offsite SaaS helpdesk (sessions time out after 30 minutes).
In unqualifiedly excellent news: the Dean and I have an appointment for next Friday to print and laminate disambiguation signs for all external entrances (of at least my building, but I'm hoping to prepare the lot and just do it all in one go). My manager and Rocky were beside themselves with glee when I ran over to tell someone, and Rocky particularly hopes to sign all the new buildings.
phone: Wait, why would you need that?
ajl: "Hi, I'm here at Building D with your pizza."
ajl: "Great, what door are you at?"
ajl: "D."
phone: Oh. Yeah.
Then Purple and Radius discussed various amusing words which could be made with the letters A-D followed by low-ish Roman numerals. DIV, BI, AIX ... I shall perhaps spoil their fun a little through careful formatting.
Then Kat called. Upon learning that I was still at work and that Purple had just asked me when I was ready to leave, she demanded to talk to him. Hilarity ensued; he did show up and Kat somehow got from Segways (Purple and I need them to get around in the Very Large Office Park) through helpful ferrets in packing peanuts to whether or not Purple is a Centauri. (He helpfully held up his hair in a crest.) "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM HE HAS A PREHENSILE PENIS!" Kat declared.
Purple held up a lemonhead. I had the phone in one hand and something (I think my headset) in the other, so I just opened my mouth. Purple tried throwing it in. It bounced off my lip and hit the asphalt. Woops.
I had to explain "drift-compatible" to Purple, as he hasn't seen Pacific Rim.
Purple is nicely tall, but not too tall. I like the way I can lean my head on his shoulder when hugging goodnight. His neck is warm. His hair likes to try to get inside my face.
Abduction by #cupcake for the purposes of an ice-cream walk: happened.
Azz: What the fuck why did Outlook 2013 turn on the goddamn junk mail filter THE CORPORATE JUNK MAIL FILTER KEEPS MY INBOX PLENTY CLEAN ENOUGH IN FACT IT MAY BE SLIGHTLY OVERZEALOUS AS IT BLOCKED MY FRIEND'S EXIT PAPERWORK AND AT LEAST TWO CUSTOMER REPLIES. Also virtualhammer is on my Outlook whitelist so WHY DID OUTLOOK BLOCK INTERNAL EMAIL LISTS DOES IT HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST MAILMAN SHIT SON
Tech support: Here's how to find the blacklist on your Samsung phone!
Azz: Questions I didn't ask: "How do I find the blacklist on my phone?" Questions I did ask: WHAT THE SHIT IS OUTLOOK SMOKING I THINK IT MAY BE LEGAL IN ALASKA NOW.
Mr. Zune: How many times can I tell you to disable the spam filter before you beat me with your cane?
Other Tech Support, on not!Facebook: soooo about that corporate junk mail filter ... heh ... funny story ... but everyone involved was re-educated, if you know what I mean. But anyway you should all go check your filters to see what it caught because it could be important.
Co-workers: That's nice to know, but have you considered posting this places other than not!Facebook?
Other Tech Support: We don't want to spam people though! And not!Facebook is the platform of choice for updates like this! Make a note in your Trapper Keepers!
Co-workers: No, seriously, this is super-important.
Other Tech Support: ... You make a good point. I'll take it back to my bossen.
Co-workers: And maybe you could talk with the filter people and see if you can release the non-junk automatically?
Other Tech Support: Also a good idea. We'll keep you posted.
Azz: All y'all fuckers need to sit down and re-evaluate PRIORITIES here. I know of one motherfucker who has been trying to unsubscribe from the LADIES IN TECH: AWESOME AMIRITE? announcements (which are sent to vh-all@) for two weeks. (Don't get me wrong, I think it's awesome, but it's not mission-critical.) THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE WITH THE MAIL FILTER is mission-critical. Not!Facebook needs to be manually activated and you're not automatically put in the "important news from IT" group. Which means you are sending these messages to far short of 100% of the crew, and you are sending LADIES IN TECH to 100% of the crew. Y'all. Re-evaluate. I have a loon beak and I know how to use it.
lb: ... you seriously mean to say that they are sending out announcements about serious infrastructure issues through not!Facebook, where they let any social media specialist competent enough to not chew on his iPhone send out announcements about a marketing meeting that you SIMPLY CAN'T MISS, causing people to turn off the not!Facebook notification emails and where you have a notification that about 100 messages are waiting for you and some small percentage of the ones flagged as important might actually be important!?!?
Azz: Clearly I did not swear enough in my comment to Other Tech Support.
Unrelated to the above except that it also involves the same IT infrastructure geniuses:
Azz: Ah, since my Overlady has left and I'm not getting bouncebacks from her alias address, I should instruct IT to turn it off. Since otherwise it will meander about as a zombie forever.
Helldesk: *has a form for that*
Azz: Oh, helpful! Thank you!
Helldesk: So, owner of the mailing list to deactivate?
Azz: O-V-E-R ... aww, *fuck*.
Helldesk: I think you meant to type: [list of employees who have not left the building]
Azz: Yeah no. *leaves blank*
Helldesk: No no, that's a required field.
Azz: *fills in manager's name* PLEASE DISREGARD THIS FIELD WHICH IS WRONG IT MADE ME FILL IT IN AND I AM FILING ANOTHER TICKET FORTHWITH *submits*
Azz: *new ticket* SO ABOUT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS LOGIC HERE, PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING SCENARIO...
Azz: ... AND IN CONCLUSION, IF YOU SAY "JUST PUT THEIR MANAGER'S NAME" ALSO CONSIDER THAT ONCE THE FORMER EMPLOYEE HAS DISAPPEARED FROM THE ORG CHART IT'S NO LONGER POSSIBLE TO FIND THEIR GODDAMN MANAGER KTHXBAI
Mr. Zune: *absconds with Azz for ice cream*
Helpdesk Guy: *calls*
Helpdesk Guy: *leaves 0-second voicemail*
Helpdesk Guy: *updates ticket* So um, did you want to reassign the ownership of this list to [manager] or did you really want it deleted?
Azz: ... what part of DELETE THIS SHE HAS LEFT THE BUILDING PLZ DISREGARD INCORRECT FIELD did you miss, dude? DELETE IT.
Lunch with Purple. Despite the extra-full parking lot, very few of the usual suspects were around for lunch. Purple and I wound up having a nice quiet end of the table to ourselves.
Whatever they did to the pulled pork at the taco station was not good: it was somewhat sweet, which would have possibly been all right if it had had any amount of salt, which it did not. I asked Purple to pass the salt, by which he concluded that I did not have the chicken burrito, as he'd had an encounter with the same pulled pork earlier that week.
Purple's taking the entirety of Thanksgiving week off, and may not leave his condo during that time. He may therefore be absent from the Seanan party.
I observed my grandmanager showing up at an external cafeteria door, plate in one hand and cellphone held to the ear with the other. He stood there sort of uncertain what to do now until someone got up to let him in. Shortly thereafter, he was seen at the badged exit into the rest of the building, cellphone in one hand on one ear and other hand on other ear to block noise, spinning in circles until the other people near the door opened it and he was able to walk through with them.
Purple then defined the term "telepathetic". He removed the salt shaker from by my plate. "Hey!" "And instead of asking someone to pass the salt, you just stare at it looking pathetic until someone hands it to you." He moved it back. Then he took it away again, quickly returning it after I gave him The Look (not a pathetic one, an "I'm not wearing the loon beak RIGHT NOW, mister, but..." one).
Somewhere partway through the afternoon, a piece of network infrastructure went biting-pear-shaped and fucked the network but gloriously. That was a bit not good. Side effects included utter hosing of the thing which you need to authenticate through in order to get to the offsite SaaS helpdesk (sessions time out after 30 minutes).
In unqualifiedly excellent news: the Dean and I have an appointment for next Friday to print and laminate disambiguation signs for all external entrances (of at least my building, but I'm hoping to prepare the lot and just do it all in one go). My manager and Rocky were beside themselves with glee when I ran over to tell someone, and Rocky particularly hopes to sign all the new buildings.
phone: Wait, why would you need that?
ajl: "Hi, I'm here at Building D with your pizza."
ajl: "Great, what door are you at?"
ajl: "D."
phone: Oh. Yeah.
Then Purple and Radius discussed various amusing words which could be made with the letters A-D followed by low-ish Roman numerals. DIV, BI, AIX ... I shall perhaps spoil their fun a little through careful formatting.
Then Kat called. Upon learning that I was still at work and that Purple had just asked me when I was ready to leave, she demanded to talk to him. Hilarity ensued; he did show up and Kat somehow got from Segways (Purple and I need them to get around in the Very Large Office Park) through helpful ferrets in packing peanuts to whether or not Purple is a Centauri. (He helpfully held up his hair in a crest.) "YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM HE HAS A PREHENSILE PENIS!" Kat declared.
Purple held up a lemonhead. I had the phone in one hand and something (I think my headset) in the other, so I just opened my mouth. Purple tried throwing it in. It bounced off my lip and hit the asphalt. Woops.
I had to explain "drift-compatible" to Purple, as he hasn't seen Pacific Rim.
Purple is nicely tall, but not too tall. I like the way I can lean my head on his shoulder when hugging goodnight. His neck is warm. His hair likes to try to get inside my face.
no subject