Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2014-12-24 01:44 am
azurelunatic) wrote2014-12-24 01:44 am
Daddy, my fishtank is buffering!
From Monday night, #adventuresofstnono working blue:
[22:18] <@Azz> I got to see xlerb last night, that was pleasant
[22:21] <@lb> oh, neat
[22:21] <@lb> was there gaming and socializing?
[22:21] <@Azz> There was!
[22:21] <@lb> hooray
[22:22] <@Azz> there was also some laughter over some shared negative energy
[22:22] <@Azz> and the little hand gestures of "attempted goatse"
[22:23] <@lb> hrm
[22:23] <@lb> I guess that's better than aggravated or involuntary
[22:23] <@Azz> yes
[22:23] <@lb> though it makes me wonder
[22:23] <@lb> murder:goatse::manslaughter:???
[22:24] <@Azz> fingering?
[22:24] <@lb> perhaps, though I figure there's a worse and more comical answer
[22:25] <@Azz> something like "borrowing your dad's buttplug" is not pithy enough
[22:26] <@Azz> fisting isn't quite right and quite a bit smaller
[22:26] <@Azz> but perhaps
[22:26] <@Azz> s/t/tt
[22:26] <@lb> "doing the lollypop lollypop o lolly lollypop thing with the wrong oriface" maybe
[22:27] <@Azz> heh
[22:27] <@dude> freddie got fingered
[22:28] <@Azz> tonight Purple and I talked about why men do not typically name their assholes, but did not come to any good conclusion
[22:29] <@lb> why just men
[22:29] <@Azz> Because my high school buddy That Idiot Shawn named his dick after his nemesis, and Purple wondered why he had named his dick after his nemesis and not his asshole.
[22:29] <@other dude> bite my shiny metal Ender
[22:29] <@lb> ahh I see
[22:30] <@Azz> and dick-naming is more of a guy sport; I'm not aware of many women who name their vulvular parts
[22:30] <@Azz> proper names rather than euphemisms that is
[22:30] <@lb> to be fair, I've never known anyone who admitted naming their genitals
[22:30] <@lb> male or female
[22:31] <@lb> the thought of "put remus in gertrude" being a sexual sentence is even more confusing than the mere act of naming
[22:31] <@Azz> put Monty in the snake pit?
[22:32] <@lb> put The Lime in The Coconut?
[22:32] <@other dude> they should be named after programming languages
[22:32] <@other dude> insert python
[22:32] <@other dude> into uh assembler
[22:33] <@Azz> if I were in a naming mood tonight I would call my vagina "The Compiler"
[22:33] <@lb> I figure The Comptroller and The Exchequer are a good pair
[22:34] <@Azz> The Princess and the Pea
[22:34] <@Azz> ?
[22:34] <@lb> Smokey and The Bandit
[22:34] <@notpea> SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
[22:34] * @Azz apologizes to notpea
[22:35] <@notpea> oh
[22:35] *** notpea is now known as pea
[22:35] <@lb> now we've not only awoken the slumbering p*a but we've angered her into reading this scrollback
[22:35] <@pea> i take it bck
[22:38] <@Azz> I would not trust anyone who named her snatch for the One Ring of Power
[22:38] <@Azz> and wouldn't put my finger in there
[22:38] <@lb> I guess "Put Frodo of the Nine Fingers in The Ring of Doom" is a little long-winded.
[22:40] <@Azz> Shelob slowly engulfed Smaug.
[22:41] <@lb> I don't know who the comic foil would be to a Cookie Monster.
[22:41] <@other dude> a fortune cookie monster!
[22:41] <@Azz> the cookie jar?
[22:52] <@lb> now I am looking up cookie recipes
[22:53] <@Azz> Croquembouche?
[22:53] <@Azz> or the dickerdoodle
[22:55] <@Azz> (deep-throating the dickerdoodle: http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6252597.html )
[23:06] <@dude> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvovI0kPhck
[23:06] <@dude> NSFW
[23:06] <@dude> not deppy safe
[23:06] <@dude> not really safe for anyone
[23:09] <@designer> they showed part of that on @midnight
[23:10] <@designer> months ago!
[23:14] <@dude> hahaha
[23:16] <@third dude> ok, so I watched, and thought "uh-huh" for most of it
[23:16] <@third dude> and then she started sucking
[23:16] <@third dude> and the noise
[23:16] <@third dude> I lost it XD
[23:17] <@third dude> sorry, now I can't ever fuck a grapefruit, not with that memory
So I woke up this morning with my early alarm and saw no good reason to go back to sleep. And I headed in to work. I started checking my email. I saw that the Conference Commandant had sent an invitation at about 7am. Which was for 11am. Which had been about five minutes ago. I reset my whiteboard for In Another Castle and skidded out the door for the shuttle up to the top of the hill, emailing as I went that I was on my way to the appointed building.
As I went across the second floor balcony, I saw the Events lady and the Commandant and Polka-Dot approaching. We waved. I went inside and down on the elevator, and we toured the conference rooms.
The committee chairs were charmed, and we put a hold on the rooms until we can get a confirmation of the actual dates (in January after people come back).
I'm going to have to, eventually, before it becomes more of an issue, have a brief chat with the Commandant about the hours in which she can expect me to be aware of my email. (Which is a conversation that I was having with Purple last night.) My expected sleep cycle swings between midnight to noon. I am currently hammering it back to 10:30am-ish via a very persistent set of alarms. I love my job. Nonetheless, I have three alarms. If it happens after midnight, don't expect me to see it until at least 10:30. When there's a known Thing which I need to be alert related to, I will actively monitor my email when I get up to pee in the night. When there isn't, I don't believe in actually being available 24x7, because I'm so very not getting paid like I should be.
There was another round of back-and-forth with the helpdesk. The tech of the moment declared that because our two test users who couldn't see the ticket via the link are mere R&D minions, everything was fine. I countered that there were use cases which made the inability to fucking link a fucking ticket a right bastard (without the swearing). I mentioned that this was a substantial regression and that it would be reported to the Torchbearer for triage. (I left unmentioned that the Torchbearer is now cc:ed on the ticket, and that I am one of the people giving substantial input on priority.)
Lunch happened. The group was chatting about how various places in the US had rather unexpected names. Purple joined us somewhat belatedly; I suspect he got swiped for conversation while in line. Eventually the topic turned to that of Fuck Off As A Service.
The concept of Into the Woods on Boxing Day sounds moderately appealing to Purple, but he also has some friends who may need help moving at that point. We'll see. (Later, when I gave him the planned time and location, and said that this would diminish the chances that he could come, he queried. He'd been counting on me picking a place closer to myself in his initial assessment. I'd been willing to negotiate something closer to middle ground had he been guaranteed-free.) I would still of course be happy to see him, I said. He'd figured as much.
That turned into a discussion of the times and places where I would not be happy to see him. I eventually boiled down my general constraints:
* Clothed.
* Not awakening me from my sleep cycle.
* Not while I was in the middle of some bodily function or another for which I require privacy.
* Not while I was in the middle of something time-sensitive for which I require concentration.
So, him showing up on my doorstep and waking me up to see this dead skunk? Right out. Which is not his style.
Most of my day involved being face-first in the middle of explicitly writing out various of the assumptions embedded in the location meeting. I also did some of the aforementioned wrestling with helldesk, plus some bonus procurement wrangling.
Last night on not!Facebook, I tried to politely articulate some of my requirements for good documentation. My ability to deal with video content varies, and this is not a great month for it. Additionally, in order to view the current video documentation for the procurement SaaS, I have to do a 5+ click process to "register" for a "class". It's "simple", but it's also unfamiliar, and it provides a barrier between me and getting the information that I need in order to accomplish my task. Downloading a thing is similarly extra steps and cognitive load at a time which is going to most frustrate me.
What I hate about most SaaS infrastructure is that when it's customized, the user's organization generally takes on the burden of documenting the adulterated shitpile, and the user's organization's people who are responsible for that have attended Mildew-Clownpole University's Please Halfass This Documentation course. It creates unnecessary labor, and the work that's done on it has a high chance of being halfassed and unprofessionally executed. In this particular case, my organization has a fully functional knowledge base system (including the ability to create video documentation), for both internal and external use, for documents which are expected to be referred to both for initial education and as needed for reference. It also has a largely-video-based "education" system, where the point is to gatekeep and track the use of courses which are intended for one-time consumption. External users are charged modest fees for their education, and internal users are allowed to take their choice of courses gratis. When internal users take courses, it counts towards their continuing education and self-improvement, so of course it should still be tracked even if it's not being charged.
And the graduates of Mildew-Clownpole U have put the "this is how you create a new requisition" documentation in video-only format, as a "course" on the online education portal. Fuckers.
Today's Procurement wrangling involved scanning some documents, then withdrawing the requisition, attaching them, and re-submitting it. Which, if the documentation had been available in non-video form, I might have got right on the first go.
To rest my brain, I did poke at a work-side Gallery of Hostile Signatures for local amusement.
I located a fireplace video and put it on thebig medium screen. It was cute. People liked it.
Someone stopped by with cookies. It turned out to have been R.
I came up with a suggestion to maybe make the helldesk software a little better. When I mentioned it in #cupcake, I accidentally caught Mr. Zune on remote desktop working from two timezones away at 10pm.
All the running about with stairs did a bit of a number on me, and then the extended focus of writing up the meeting notes and braindumping gave me the headache.
Purple was also a bit braindrained from braindumping. He observed that my fireplace was buffering. He did a "Daddy, my fishtank is buffering!" conversation, involving "Did you reboot the router?" I giggled extensively.
My knees were not yelly today, but I was substantially off-balance, enough to accidentally punch the disco ball. I took my work cane out to the car. Purple was gentle hugging me goodnight, even though I was wobbly, not hurty. He joked about the level of kicks that should be dealt out; I demonstrated lightly kicking at the level of his laptop bag, and explained that in deference to my current status, I would only be kicking at that level and not any higher. Usually I go for the head or shoulder when being silly with kicking. (And the advantages of playing with people who are not Darkside is, they are less likely to attempt to knock me over. Heh.)
The thing which I was going to tell Purple about, but my train of thought got derailed, was the grapefruit video.
And I will see Purple tomorrow.
[22:18] <@Azz> I got to see xlerb last night, that was pleasant
[22:21] <@lb> oh, neat
[22:21] <@lb> was there gaming and socializing?
[22:21] <@Azz> There was!
[22:21] <@lb> hooray
[22:22] <@Azz> there was also some laughter over some shared negative energy
[22:22] <@Azz> and the little hand gestures of "attempted goatse"
[22:23] <@lb> hrm
[22:23] <@lb> I guess that's better than aggravated or involuntary
[22:23] <@Azz> yes
[22:23] <@lb> though it makes me wonder
[22:23] <@lb> murder:goatse::manslaughter:???
[22:24] <@Azz> fingering?
[22:24] <@lb> perhaps, though I figure there's a worse and more comical answer
[22:25] <@Azz> something like "borrowing your dad's buttplug" is not pithy enough
[22:26] <@Azz> fisting isn't quite right and quite a bit smaller
[22:26] <@Azz> but perhaps
[22:26] <@Azz> s/t/tt
[22:26] <@lb> "doing the lollypop lollypop o lolly lollypop thing with the wrong oriface" maybe
[22:27] <@Azz> heh
[22:27] <@dude> freddie got fingered
[22:28] <@Azz> tonight Purple and I talked about why men do not typically name their assholes, but did not come to any good conclusion
[22:29] <@lb> why just men
[22:29] <@Azz> Because my high school buddy That Idiot Shawn named his dick after his nemesis, and Purple wondered why he had named his dick after his nemesis and not his asshole.
[22:29] <@other dude> bite my shiny metal Ender
[22:29] <@lb> ahh I see
[22:30] <@Azz> and dick-naming is more of a guy sport; I'm not aware of many women who name their vulvular parts
[22:30] <@Azz> proper names rather than euphemisms that is
[22:30] <@lb> to be fair, I've never known anyone who admitted naming their genitals
[22:30] <@lb> male or female
[22:31] <@lb> the thought of "put remus in gertrude" being a sexual sentence is even more confusing than the mere act of naming
[22:31] <@Azz> put Monty in the snake pit?
[22:32] <@lb> put The Lime in The Coconut?
[22:32] <@other dude> they should be named after programming languages
[22:32] <@other dude> insert python
[22:32] <@other dude> into uh assembler
[22:33] <@Azz> if I were in a naming mood tonight I would call my vagina "The Compiler"
[22:33] <@lb> I figure The Comptroller and The Exchequer are a good pair
[22:34] <@Azz> The Princess and the Pea
[22:34] <@Azz> ?
[22:34] <@lb> Smokey and The Bandit
[22:34] <@notpea> SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
[22:34] * @Azz apologizes to notpea
[22:35] <@notpea> oh
[22:35] *** notpea is now known as pea
[22:35] <@lb> now we've not only awoken the slumbering p*a but we've angered her into reading this scrollback
[22:35] <@pea> i take it bck
[22:38] <@Azz> I would not trust anyone who named her snatch for the One Ring of Power
[22:38] <@Azz> and wouldn't put my finger in there
[22:38] <@lb> I guess "Put Frodo of the Nine Fingers in The Ring of Doom" is a little long-winded.
[22:40] <@Azz> Shelob slowly engulfed Smaug.
[22:41] <@lb> I don't know who the comic foil would be to a Cookie Monster.
[22:41] <@other dude> a fortune cookie monster!
[22:41] <@Azz> the cookie jar?
[22:52] <@lb> now I am looking up cookie recipes
[22:53] <@Azz> Croquembouche?
[22:53] <@Azz> or the dickerdoodle
[22:55] <@Azz> (deep-throating the dickerdoodle: http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6252597.html )
[23:06] <@dude> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvovI0kPhck
[23:06] <@dude> NSFW
[23:06] <@dude> not deppy safe
[23:06] <@dude> not really safe for anyone
[23:09] <@designer> they showed part of that on @midnight
[23:10] <@designer> months ago!
[23:14] <@dude> hahaha
[23:16] <@third dude> ok, so I watched, and thought "uh-huh" for most of it
[23:16] <@third dude> and then she started sucking
[23:16] <@third dude> and the noise
[23:16] <@third dude> I lost it XD
[23:17] <@third dude> sorry, now I can't ever fuck a grapefruit, not with that memory
So I woke up this morning with my early alarm and saw no good reason to go back to sleep. And I headed in to work. I started checking my email. I saw that the Conference Commandant had sent an invitation at about 7am. Which was for 11am. Which had been about five minutes ago. I reset my whiteboard for In Another Castle and skidded out the door for the shuttle up to the top of the hill, emailing as I went that I was on my way to the appointed building.
As I went across the second floor balcony, I saw the Events lady and the Commandant and Polka-Dot approaching. We waved. I went inside and down on the elevator, and we toured the conference rooms.
The committee chairs were charmed, and we put a hold on the rooms until we can get a confirmation of the actual dates (in January after people come back).
I'm going to have to, eventually, before it becomes more of an issue, have a brief chat with the Commandant about the hours in which she can expect me to be aware of my email. (Which is a conversation that I was having with Purple last night.) My expected sleep cycle swings between midnight to noon. I am currently hammering it back to 10:30am-ish via a very persistent set of alarms. I love my job. Nonetheless, I have three alarms. If it happens after midnight, don't expect me to see it until at least 10:30. When there's a known Thing which I need to be alert related to, I will actively monitor my email when I get up to pee in the night. When there isn't, I don't believe in actually being available 24x7, because I'm so very not getting paid like I should be.
There was another round of back-and-forth with the helpdesk. The tech of the moment declared that because our two test users who couldn't see the ticket via the link are mere R&D minions, everything was fine. I countered that there were use cases which made the inability to fucking link a fucking ticket a right bastard (without the swearing). I mentioned that this was a substantial regression and that it would be reported to the Torchbearer for triage. (I left unmentioned that the Torchbearer is now cc:ed on the ticket, and that I am one of the people giving substantial input on priority.)
Lunch happened. The group was chatting about how various places in the US had rather unexpected names. Purple joined us somewhat belatedly; I suspect he got swiped for conversation while in line. Eventually the topic turned to that of Fuck Off As A Service.
Table 1: engineers giggling over a Fuck Off as a Service API. Table 2: small children busily learning new words.
— Azure Luidaeg (@azurelunatic) December 23, 2014The concept of Into the Woods on Boxing Day sounds moderately appealing to Purple, but he also has some friends who may need help moving at that point. We'll see. (Later, when I gave him the planned time and location, and said that this would diminish the chances that he could come, he queried. He'd been counting on me picking a place closer to myself in his initial assessment. I'd been willing to negotiate something closer to middle ground had he been guaranteed-free.) I would still of course be happy to see him, I said. He'd figured as much.
That turned into a discussion of the times and places where I would not be happy to see him. I eventually boiled down my general constraints:
* Clothed.
* Not awakening me from my sleep cycle.
* Not while I was in the middle of some bodily function or another for which I require privacy.
* Not while I was in the middle of something time-sensitive for which I require concentration.
So, him showing up on my doorstep and waking me up to see this dead skunk? Right out. Which is not his style.
Most of my day involved being face-first in the middle of explicitly writing out various of the assumptions embedded in the location meeting. I also did some of the aforementioned wrestling with helldesk, plus some bonus procurement wrangling.
Last night on not!Facebook, I tried to politely articulate some of my requirements for good documentation. My ability to deal with video content varies, and this is not a great month for it. Additionally, in order to view the current video documentation for the procurement SaaS, I have to do a 5+ click process to "register" for a "class". It's "simple", but it's also unfamiliar, and it provides a barrier between me and getting the information that I need in order to accomplish my task. Downloading a thing is similarly extra steps and cognitive load at a time which is going to most frustrate me.
What I hate about most SaaS infrastructure is that when it's customized, the user's organization generally takes on the burden of documenting the adulterated shitpile, and the user's organization's people who are responsible for that have attended Mildew-Clownpole University's Please Halfass This Documentation course. It creates unnecessary labor, and the work that's done on it has a high chance of being halfassed and unprofessionally executed. In this particular case, my organization has a fully functional knowledge base system (including the ability to create video documentation), for both internal and external use, for documents which are expected to be referred to both for initial education and as needed for reference. It also has a largely-video-based "education" system, where the point is to gatekeep and track the use of courses which are intended for one-time consumption. External users are charged modest fees for their education, and internal users are allowed to take their choice of courses gratis. When internal users take courses, it counts towards their continuing education and self-improvement, so of course it should still be tracked even if it's not being charged.
And the graduates of Mildew-Clownpole U have put the "this is how you create a new requisition" documentation in video-only format, as a "course" on the online education portal. Fuckers.
Today's Procurement wrangling involved scanning some documents, then withdrawing the requisition, attaching them, and re-submitting it. Which, if the documentation had been available in non-video form, I might have got right on the first go.
To rest my brain, I did poke at a work-side Gallery of Hostile Signatures for local amusement.
I located a fireplace video and put it on the
Someone stopped by with cookies. It turned out to have been R.
I came up with a suggestion to maybe make the helldesk software a little better. When I mentioned it in #cupcake, I accidentally caught Mr. Zune on remote desktop working from two timezones away at 10pm.
All the running about with stairs did a bit of a number on me, and then the extended focus of writing up the meeting notes and braindumping gave me the headache.
Purple was also a bit braindrained from braindumping. He observed that my fireplace was buffering. He did a "Daddy, my fishtank is buffering!" conversation, involving "Did you reboot the router?" I giggled extensively.
My knees were not yelly today, but I was substantially off-balance, enough to accidentally punch the disco ball. I took my work cane out to the car. Purple was gentle hugging me goodnight, even though I was wobbly, not hurty. He joked about the level of kicks that should be dealt out; I demonstrated lightly kicking at the level of his laptop bag, and explained that in deference to my current status, I would only be kicking at that level and not any higher. Usually I go for the head or shoulder when being silly with kicking. (And the advantages of playing with people who are not Darkside is, they are less likely to attempt to knock me over. Heh.)
The thing which I was going to tell Purple about, but my train of thought got derailed, was the grapefruit video.
And I will see Purple tomorrow.