On non-binary dysphoria, and top surgery

[azurelunatic]

Quoted with permission. The writer is non-binary gendered, AFAB, and has recently had top surgery.

One of the best things about [top surgery] is how quickly my dysphoria has eased. One of the things I worried about was whether I actually had dysphoria - after all, I was managing to hold down at least one job, go out, have a relationship and so on. I was pretty functional, right? Now I've actually had surgery, I realise how bad it was: all the things I avoided because it meant putting a binder on, all the ways it impacted my relationship and friendships, the way it affected about how I felt about my body, the constant buzzing low level awareness that couldn't be switched off. And now it's gone, and its absence is so noticeable.

Comments

[tim]

Yeah, I certainly had cis female friends who told me "I wish I could get top surgery!" to which my response was "um... you can..." (though I'm guessing they all would have been happy to have much smaller breasts, rather than none.)

I halfway thought about getting a reduction to A-cup so that I could still have boobs for sexyfun genderfuck times, but bind much more easily... but in the end I was so sick of binding that I didn't want to go half-assed. Or half-boobed.

[vass]

I'm not cis.