Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-07-27 10:46 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-07-27 10:46 pm
Darkside
Marx has stopped trying to figure out exactly what I see in him. I think, of everybody I know IRL, Dawn is the closest to figuring out what it is going on between us.
If the bizarre relationship drama caused me more pain than it did amusement, joy, and enlightenment, it would end. I've gotten at least that degree of control now. The relationship with Darkside, or lack thereof, has just gotten twisted around into so many other of my psychological constructs that it would be really damn interesting to untangle. I could do it; it would probably play hell with the friendship for a while. I don't want to, though. It's comfortable the way it is.
Why comfortable?
I know he will try his best not to hurt me. I'll try not to hurt him, and we'll be friends, trying not to step on each other's toes. He knows me quite well; I know him quite well. There are always the rough edges, but we mesh so very well... I don't want to do anything to upset the status quo.
If the bizarre relationship drama caused me more pain than it did amusement, joy, and enlightenment, it would end. I've gotten at least that degree of control now. The relationship with Darkside, or lack thereof, has just gotten twisted around into so many other of my psychological constructs that it would be really damn interesting to untangle. I could do it; it would probably play hell with the friendship for a while. I don't want to, though. It's comfortable the way it is.
Why comfortable?
I know he will try his best not to hurt me. I'll try not to hurt him, and we'll be friends, trying not to step on each other's toes. He knows me quite well; I know him quite well. There are always the rough edges, but we mesh so very well... I don't want to do anything to upset the status quo.