...

[azurelunatic]

I did not know that it bothered Darkside to that degree.


I guess it's because he tracks my emotional state, and sees how I am, and what's causing the emotions. There are some people he approves of, for me to see, and some people he just ... doesn't.

Comments

[wiredferret.livejournal.com]

Serious question:
Does he get a vote on that?

My husband doesn't get to tell me who I hang out with. He can say that someone makes him uncomfortable, but it's my decision.

[azurelunatic]

Who else's decision would it be?

He's never said, "I approve of him", or "I think you should stop seeing him". Not within my memory, at least. He minds the proprieties, but I can read him easily. He approves of the idea of me making out with ralmathon; you can tell it by the way he grins and teases me that perhaps the relationship is not quite so brother/sister as I like to say it is. He's not so particularly fond of my coupleness with Adam, I think mostly because that's a bit of a yo-yo relationship, bouncing up and down and occasionally playing merry hell with my emotions.

This morning, he had a few words that let me know that he cares deeply about me (as a friend; that went without saying) and that his opinion on my thing with Adam goes beyond "not particularly fond of" into "really, truly, deeply disturbed".

I find that my conversations with him are taking place less and less on the verbal level, and ever-increasingly in worlds of nuance and suggestion. I can't pull anything over on him without really trying; his expressions and word choices leave him transparent to me. The words themselves are becoming more elusive after the fact, if I'm focused in more on tone of voice, position of hands. Our physical distance from each other has increased, if anything. He's not comfortable with anyone too close for too long.

Darkside won't have a formal voice in who I'm dating or sleeping with until and unless he starts dating me. His opinion, however, carries more weight with me than he thinks it does. "Darkside would be disappointed with me" is an argument that does work in getting me to not do things that would be bad for me anyway, but that I might not mind doing so much. "Darkside would be proud of me" is a good motivator.

It's still my decision, but now I must re-weigh it to see where Darkside's opinion puts the balance.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, *I* have been "really, truly, deeply disturbed" by this thing with Adam for a while now. My feeling of BAD that came up with V* never went away. Every time you mention him, especially having sex, brings up a nasty red flag in the back of my head. I hadn't commented on it lately, because I thought you already knew.

No, actually...

[azurelunatic]

...that certainly spins things into a different orbit.