Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2022-03-09 01:49 am
azurelunatic) wrote2022-03-09 01:49 am
Foot fidget
I ordered a seated elliptical machine like Ev's (different color though) and in attempting to follow the assembly instructions one of the screw sockets broke off entirely.
I'm waiting to hear back from their customer service. I can use it pedal-less and barefoot, and it's fun to fidget with while gaming. I hope we won't have to send the entire thing back.
Today was also helping Belovedest fill out the cousin of the ADHD form. That was notable and kinda rough.
After that was the milk plastic project with the kids. The kitchen was occupied.
By the time Belovedest was done with work, I was wiped out enough that not only did I retreat to bed, but I set my phone down and napped for at least three hours despite having gotten sleep. Yellface came and curled up next to my feet, and stayed there until I came back to bed and shooed her over to guard Belovedest.
There was a Gems of War update, with new troops and rearranging the chest menu. We discussed some of the costumes. Fantasy game costumes are interesting for talking about real clothing construction with a fascinated novice.
A thing that fell out of the subsequent discussion of fragile masculinity was the concept that the Patriarchy wants men to be the gatekeepers of women's sexual pleasure. It's not that The Patriarchy wants women to have none, because one of the measures of a man's sexual prowess is whether he can pleasure someone, but it wants that pleasure to be under the exclusive control of a Man. And how some men who subscribe to those ideas understand asexuality better than they think they might: the view that All Women only Do Sex to please The Man, but don't inherently enjoy it, is similar to the experience of some sex-neutral asexual folks. Sure, have sex because the partner enjoys it, but it's sort of like going bowling with someone who really likes bowling while you are indifferent to it.
I'm waiting to hear back from their customer service. I can use it pedal-less and barefoot, and it's fun to fidget with while gaming. I hope we won't have to send the entire thing back.
Today was also helping Belovedest fill out the cousin of the ADHD form. That was notable and kinda rough.
After that was the milk plastic project with the kids. The kitchen was occupied.
By the time Belovedest was done with work, I was wiped out enough that not only did I retreat to bed, but I set my phone down and napped for at least three hours despite having gotten sleep. Yellface came and curled up next to my feet, and stayed there until I came back to bed and shooed her over to guard Belovedest.
There was a Gems of War update, with new troops and rearranging the chest menu. We discussed some of the costumes. Fantasy game costumes are interesting for talking about real clothing construction with a fascinated novice.
A thing that fell out of the subsequent discussion of fragile masculinity was the concept that the Patriarchy wants men to be the gatekeepers of women's sexual pleasure. It's not that The Patriarchy wants women to have none, because one of the measures of a man's sexual prowess is whether he can pleasure someone, but it wants that pleasure to be under the exclusive control of a Man. And how some men who subscribe to those ideas understand asexuality better than they think they might: the view that All Women only Do Sex to please The Man, but don't inherently enjoy it, is similar to the experience of some sex-neutral asexual folks. Sure, have sex because the partner enjoys it, but it's sort of like going bowling with someone who really likes bowling while you are indifferent to it.
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Except that, weirdly, the Patriarchy has terrific trouble with people who self-define as asexual (whether sex-neutral or repulsed or whatever), because that's still an assertion of individual desire (even when it involves lack of sexual desire), whereas the Patriarchal view is about how everyone should be (whether they like it or not).
A woman who doesn't enjoy sex because Good Women Don't Enjoy Sex but does it to Please A Man: right and proper! A woman who doesn't enjoy sex per se because she happens to be asexual but does it because she's neutral about it and enjoys her partner's enjoyment: some kind of disgusting individualist.
I have pondered this recently because of some absurd conniptions that were had in the UK when the Girl Scouts posted the most anodyne possible Tweet for Asexual Awareness Week, giving a shout-out to asexual staff and volunteers. Because, according to some people, if you tell children and teenagers that it's okay to not want sex, that's "sexualizing children" and deeply inappropriate, in fact practically pedophilia.
There's also the complicating factor that some TERFs seem to be under the impression that asexuality has something to do with gender identity.
But certainly, there's the sense from various quarters that if you tell kids that asexuality exists and is okay, then they might start deciding all sorts of things about their own desires and identities just based on what they want or don't want, and THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE???
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Oof, yes, I think I can imagine.
Sure, have sex because the partner enjoys it, but it's sort of like going bowling with someone who really likes bowling while you are indifferent to it.
Well, except for the location of the alley.
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"Who put the bowling alley between the sewers?"
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