Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-08-07 04:31 pm
azurelunatic) wrote2002-08-07 04:31 pm
Attractive
So what is beauty, anyway?
Today, I was beautiful. I was dressed in clothing that flattered me, with brushed hair and lipstick, and a wide, happy smile. (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ralmathon was unnerved as the smile resembled the dangerous Azz Grin.)
I have most of my health back, now that I've recognized that the "colds" that used to plague me for nearly the entire year were really allergies. I'm not in shape yet; I need to be, for my own health and happiness.
I am overweight. I possibly am heavier than I look, as there is a fair amount of muscle and bone inside, but I'm still overweight and uncomfortable with it. That's as much a health issue as it is a beauty issue. I'm not half as strong as I'd like to be; I'm not half as strong as I used to be. It has been something I've been slowly attempting to contemplate changing about myself, but somehow not something I'd ever gotten the motivation to do.
It's tough, being able to read between the lines in the things your friends say so very well. Darkside does not mention my weight. I don't bring it up much. If I do, he doesn't comment. It bothers him, though. He tries to not show it, but it bothers him. If I didn't know him so very well, I'd never know.
Being slightly uncomfortable myself is something I can handle. Having something that bothers Darkside that I wish to change about myself anyway -- there is now motivation for me to lose weight.
And I am. I'm getting tougher, thinner, prettier. I'd like to get back down to a size 18, which is where the cool clothes start to be. I don't want to have to stick to mens' styles and the things that I can find in sizes 24-26.
I don't just want to be beautiful. I want to kick ass.
Today, I was beautiful. I was dressed in clothing that flattered me, with brushed hair and lipstick, and a wide, happy smile. (
ralmathon was unnerved as the smile resembled the dangerous Azz Grin.) I have most of my health back, now that I've recognized that the "colds" that used to plague me for nearly the entire year were really allergies. I'm not in shape yet; I need to be, for my own health and happiness.
I am overweight. I possibly am heavier than I look, as there is a fair amount of muscle and bone inside, but I'm still overweight and uncomfortable with it. That's as much a health issue as it is a beauty issue. I'm not half as strong as I'd like to be; I'm not half as strong as I used to be. It has been something I've been slowly attempting to contemplate changing about myself, but somehow not something I'd ever gotten the motivation to do.
It's tough, being able to read between the lines in the things your friends say so very well. Darkside does not mention my weight. I don't bring it up much. If I do, he doesn't comment. It bothers him, though. He tries to not show it, but it bothers him. If I didn't know him so very well, I'd never know.
Being slightly uncomfortable myself is something I can handle. Having something that bothers Darkside that I wish to change about myself anyway -- there is now motivation for me to lose weight.
And I am. I'm getting tougher, thinner, prettier. I'd like to get back down to a size 18, which is where the cool clothes start to be. I don't want to have to stick to mens' styles and the things that I can find in sizes 24-26.
I don't just want to be beautiful. I want to kick ass.
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Besides, big is good. Better big than deathly skinny. Ugh, skinny people are, to me, anyway, not very attractive.
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I can, however, have muscles out to here.
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(Anonymous) 2002-08-08 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)