They checked it

[azurelunatic]

The worst part of colonoscopy prep turned out to be the sheer number of trips to the bathroom, which knotted up my legs something fierce. The second worst part was the taste of the solution, even with added flavorings. It was salty! (I got the huge jug rather than the Miralax version. Miralax at least isn't salty.) Next time, probably either green unsweetened Kool-Aid or lemonade Crystal Lite or whatever.

To prevent chapping, I prophylactically applied butt paste after the first bathroom trip. This was a success. I also recommend having a butt washer on the toilet. And heading there the first moment you feel like you should.

I did make the planned gallon of orange jello, but since it was a little late for me to actually eat it, I put mandarin orange slices in it. Since that's often part of Belovedest's lunch. Today I packed it into smaller boxes to help with that effort and to decrease the crowding in the fridge.

I got a slight nap after everything was about finished. The split prep schedule meant that I started the second half around 12:30 am. Appointment check in time 6 am.

The distance in the facility wasn't super bad, although we brought my chair just in case. (Speaking of the chair, I have decked it out with retroreflective tape and electroluminescent wire. It looks much safer. The cup holder went on Friday.)

After checking me in, gowning me up, going over my meds, and placing the IV, oxygen monitor, and blood pressure cuff, I was parted from phone and glasses and Belovedest. They wheeled me off to a cluttered procedure room. I didn't see room for the bed at first.

Next came the heart monitor leads. Two near my collar bone on each side, one lower. But they didn't pick up anything. The one on my arm was put on my belly. Still nothing. I offered to glare at it like I knew what I was doing. The tech followed the wires and saw they were plugged into a different (dark screened and apparently turned off) machine. After that they plugged in the wires to the right monitor and my vitals showed right up.

I was arranged on my side with enough pillow under my head (they folded it). Hooked up to the drip and med pump. My hand started feeling slightly frostbitten. Apparently that drug is known for causing pain, especially in a narrow vein like the hand. I waited for them to do something interesting.

And then I was awake again as they started wheeling me back out. Other than a slightly startled butthole and sore legs (from the bathroom trips) I felt fine. (Legs hurt. Butthole didn't.)

They found and removed five polyps. Lab results should come back within two weeks.

I got dressed again. I had picked a cute nightgown for the outing, black with flowers and butterflies. Instead of a coat (it's getting chilly at night) I wore my dramatic black velvet robe, the one with lace trim and bell sleeves. I received a compliment. And as soon as I proved I could stand up without excessive wobbling, we were off.

Belovedest gathered breakfast for me on our way home, and I took a much needed nap (interrupted a few times to confirm that I could be made conscious and accept hydration).

And that was that.

We did our usual Friday shopping on Saturday. I was still sore. Today my legs are thankfully feeling normal.

Comments

[vass]

Very strong agreement on the awfulness of the colonoscopy prep drink. (You chilled it, right? It's still awful chilled, but it's worse at room temperature.) In my experience (I've done it twice, most recently last year) the effects of the prep were unpleasant but no worse than IBS, and the very worst was the logistics of arranging a lift there and back and appropriate adult supervision for the next night in case I started bleeding or whatever.

The tech followed the wires and saw they were plugged into a different (dark screened and apparently turned off) machine.

Second item on the tech support troubleshooting list strikes again.

And as soon as I proved I could stand up without excessive wobbling, we were off.

They made me hang around in a recovery area for a while to demonstrate that I wasn't going to have a bad reaction.

and I took a much needed nap (interrupted a few times to confirm that I could be made conscious and accept hydration).

Same. The early wakeup and lack of sleep alone would do it.

Lab results should come back within two weeks.

*crosses metaphorical fingers*

[azurelunatic]

I chilled it plus had ice in my drinking vessel. The ice helped a lot. And I started keeping the tip of my tongue touching the top of my mouth while drinking, to further evade tasting it.

[vass]

That's a good idea, I'll save that for next time I need to drink something terrible.

[princessofgeeks]

Hurray!

[azurelunatic]

I'm glad it's done.

[silveradept]

They did not find any lost keys or rings there, only polyps. Good, and hopefully you get to wait the maximum amount of time before it happens again.

[azurelunatic]

Here's hoping.

[twistedchick]

I have had colonoscopies every five years since I was 45, which means...five or so. The taste of the prep stuff has varied over the years; I have managed to swallow it by chilling it and drinking it with a straw *while sitting on the toilet*, most of the time.

I am sending best wishes that all the polyps will turn out to be negative. May all be well with your innards.

[azurelunatic]

Sitting on the toilet sounds like a very good place. Unfortunately I was not the only urgent toilet needer during all these exercises, so I tried to keep my time tying up the bathroom brief.