Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2002-08-27 08:03 am
azurelunatic) wrote2002-08-27 08:03 am
Cold
I'm still operating on a hug deficit. Darkside's been noticing the moments when I make a small noise and self-correct my hands away from him. I love Darkside, but... no. No. I can't. No touch.
He asks me if I'm all right.
I feel like I'm falling out of love. I've felt this way many times, and we can only see if this time it's going to hold and stay. I still care, of course; I still love him. But not, perhaps, in love.
Too much to say, but not enough words to fill with it. Overfilled. It's such a blank, dry, empty feeling, that too many words, and it'll be sloshing around inside with too much empty room, but still not all that lonliness drained away from me.
Perhaps I'm underhearing some of it. I wish I could do more, there.
He asks me if I'm all right.
I feel like I'm falling out of love. I've felt this way many times, and we can only see if this time it's going to hold and stay. I still care, of course; I still love him. But not, perhaps, in love.
Too much to say, but not enough words to fill with it. Overfilled. It's such a blank, dry, empty feeling, that too many words, and it'll be sloshing around inside with too much empty room, but still not all that lonliness drained away from me.
Perhaps I'm underhearing some of it. I wish I could do more, there.