On maternal paranoias, unfounded... (copy/paste of comment)

[azurelunatic]

I don't believe that it's possible for people to change their essential nature in the way of sexuality without a LOT of intensive work (that is, it's in the near neighborhood of impossible, but I refuse to believe ANYTHING impossible without proof, but I don't think it's practically possible either); I think it's something that's either set at birth or within the first two or so years of life. Changing it would probably require some form of divine intervention, and would make it necessary to entirely rebalance that person's spirit and body.

I do think that it is possible to traumatize or condition people towards or away from a gender (violent rape making a woman inherently with the possibility of being bisexual completely lesbian, various stuff making a woman who was bisexual only have sex with guys) but the potential would have to have been there in the first place.

As far as that comment the other day goes, I don't believe it's possible for Nephew to become gay or bi by playing with Barbie stuff. His essential nature is strongly enough developed that whatever he winds up playing with, he's going to wind up playing with it like he normally does. You've seen how everything he plays with is either a robot or a weapon. I could see him wanting a Barbie more than anything else, and then dressing her in camo gear and having her launch sneak assaults on the bad guys with him. If it is in his essential nature already to be bi (I don't see him as ever liking boys better than girls, as he's shown an interest in girls already, just as I showed an interest in boys at about the same age, and I still like boys far better than girls), no amount of forced masculinity is going to change his essential nature.

As far as the issue of appearing to be gay goes, just take a look at evealone. Half his high school thought he was gay, because he didn't take an interest in the usual "manly" pursuits, and hung out with the girls all the time. It was the male half of the high school that thought that. The girls knew better. ;) evealone was fine with that, because the guys didn't think of him as any competition.

I don't think we've got to worry about Nephew falling out of his own balance in any way. What that balance is, though, has yet to be completely seen.

Comments

[hookncrook.livejournal.com]

Odd to think people worry that easily over a boy playing with a doll. My son was in gymnastics and people where I worked commented, "What does his father think of that?" as if jumping on a trampoline would make him homosexual or bi. I responded nicely, "His father is the one that signed him up." I have no idea how our society can be so hypersensitive about masculinity and fear of producing a homosexual child.

You don't see people worrying their daughter is going lesbian because she and her friends sat around in their undies and did their hair. But let her slap on some combat boots and shave her head and you have everyone muttering dyke under their breath at her. I guess extreme femininity is ok, but show any bend towards masculinity as a female and you are a lesbia...

You never hear comments about men and pro atheletes walking around in shower rooms naked and cracking each other on the ass with towels making them gay...

Never? Well, hardly ever...

[azurelunatic]

With my slash-writing friends, there is constant muttering about the underlying homoerotic themes of pro football.

The major thing I'm worried about is if the kid just so happens to be, that Mommy's very carefully almost-neutral (but just not quite!) attitude towards the subject is going to make him wish to please Mommy and not have it out in the open, and make him feel guilty about being himself. That's the last thing I want to have happen. It's the last thing she wants to have happen either, I think.

Mommy is straight. To be otherwise would be very against her essential nature, and completely out of balance for her. I am very much afraid that knowing this about herself and knowing that everyone must be in balance has convinced her that there is no possible way of being in balance and being gay or bi. For her, no. Unfortunately, I see that she has applied this to everyone, and I do not agree with that at all. This is one of the issues on which I think that there can be no agreement, so it's not discussed much.

your attitude shines through

[evealone.livejournal.com]

It doesn't matter what you see while growing up and what people call you when it comes time to make the choice of whom you would go out with in the end you are going to be with the ones you are attracted to. Though I admit in some places it is more freely able to choose then others. I mean look at me straight out of Hicksville, AR and I had more to do with bi/gay gays and girls then ones who were straight. But I always kept true to my belief system and was myself no matter what others might say about what I did or didn’t do and as azurelunatic mention above I was ridiculed by the guys but in the end everything had a habit of working themselves out