Hugs for Everybody

[azurelunatic]

It's so hard for us extroverts to deal with unhappy introverts. We want to dispense hugs and cuddle up close and tell them how very much we care, and all they want is a nice cave to crawl into until things start to look better, if they ever do.

In other news, I am within two inches of bustline of wearing the Seska Dress again.

Comments

introvert speaking

[boojum.livejournal.com]

When I'm stressed, it's much easier to stay around flooble extroverts than non-flooble extroverts. Flooble is a concept with no simple word for it that I am about to try to define. To someone with no concept of psychic stuff as existing, I could say something like "psychically quiet" and probably have it make sense, but I think that would mean something different to you than what I want it to mean. I normally talk about it more with gestures than with words. It's a taking-up-space thing. Flooble people fill the space around them. They're extremely there. In territoriality terms, all of the area is marked as somewhat theirs. Most types of charisma involve floobleness, which I think is why some charismatic people immediately grate on my nerves. (Well, that and that I have a very low tolerance for smarminess. I'm not good at recognizing it, but when I recognize it, I can't stand it. Anyway. End of digression.) Non-flooble people leave space for others. Flooble people are more likely to dominate conversations, have flashy movements, and speak loudly, but there's not a perfect correlation.

The motion-think I normally use about this has flooble people being out and non-flooble people being close to the body and static. Flooble people project their personality. Non-flooble people don't necessarily retreat, but they don't make everyone else either specifically keep up the counter-pressure or retreat. Flooble people tend to draw people towards them and attract attention.

Floobleness is morally neutral, but it's wearing. I don't have a firm idea of whether you're generally flooble or non-flooble, since I haven't spent time around you in person and that's how it's easy to tell, but I think you're likely flooble.

There's also projected calmness, which I can't define well either, but I can at least give a reasonable phrase to. Safe solid harbor rock people tend to project much calm; high-strung people, artists, new lovers, and new ex-lovers do not. Groupings are not necessarily the sum of their parts. This also varies with the beholder -- most people think arguments aren't particularly calm-projecting while I think they're extremely not calm-projecting. Stress-projecting. Boom. Ditto for power struggles.

I'm not sure either of these explanations helps, since I'm not sure if they're changeable qualities, but maybe they're more specific than what you've observed already. View from the inside and all that.

Re: introvert speaking

[azurelunatic]

I would have to say that I vary between flooble and non-flooble, depending on mood. If quiet/serious, then very non: I inhabit corners, and keep myself very much to myself, and find that flooble people drive me out of the room. (Television is exceptionally flooble; I leave rooms with televisions on within them, unless interested in the programme or able to tune it out.)

I am capable of being flooble, but I cannot maintain it for more than a few hours without needing to withdraw.