Dream.

Car trip that turned out to be an airplane. An aunt going wacko on me. Votania puking red jello to stabilize during landing. Old junker car. Shopping. Medical darts of the sort that had binding chemicals on them. One man wishing to bind himself to me but leaving himself unbound so I could choose another. He looked like Marx. A war? With all the men owning guns and not the girls. College-bound shopping for Timmy, Ty's little brother. Running into Ty at lunch, re-bonding. Camping with the car trip, getting stranded.

I really need...

to come up with a Little Book of Symbolism for myself.

Symbolisms to include in my Little Book Of

All the colors
silver glitter
blowgun darts
markers
gel pens
jello in various flavours
junker cars
camping trips
silverware
plastic silverware
instant coffee
teeth
unidentifiable computer parts
fan, electric
fan, handpowered
zip disks
3 1/2 disks
5 1/4 disks
blank videotapes
blank audiotapes
tape reels
tape drive cassettes
...

Diablo II, much kicking of ass.

Darkside seems to be plotting a Diablo II campaign for the Halloween type party. Coolness. There was much sparring and assorted kicking of ass this morning. My left shoulder got mad at me last night, for offenses probably including improper bra design. I made fudge last night.

There was a guy sitting at the table nearby us this morning. Darkside and I started whacking each other around and causing lots of mayhem; I attempted to strangle him several times. The guy was a little appalled and a little amused. Darkside and I made it clear that had we actually, as he'd accused, been attempting murder, one or both of us would be dead already.

Dawn stopped by; Darkside got her breakfast. There was much punnage.

Note to self: try not to hug Darkside that much. He is noticing my tits when I hug him, and evidently this disturbs him, besides him not being overfond of hugs.

Meep.

Things I should be:
Courteous
Considerate

Things I should not do:
Continue to lean my head on Darkside's shoulder when he has made it clear that he doesn't like it when I do this

And, overall, I should NOT be whiny and hurt-feeling when Darkside finally does yell at me (and yes, that's a yell) for putting my head on his shoulder, because it's my fault in the first place.

(no subject)

( ... )

(no subject)

I looked at my wrists on the way walking home from school. No way my mind's going to function any time soon. Maybe in a few hours.

skipping out, sort of

Database class today was cancelled in favor of lab. Don't know what Benes is going to be up to. Went home anyway. I'd rather deal with this in a safe environment.

(no subject)

Where's Shanna when I need her?

(no subject)

breathing again. Should wash face.

Breathing again

Kimmie called. Yay Kimmie. Talked. Talked a lot. And while I'm wishing, I'd also like a laptop. Brand new, state of the art, slightly more expensive than pony.

*sigh*

Perhaps writing out "I will not deliberately fuck up my friendships" many times over, then offering it up to the spirits, along with twenty cones of Sex on the Beach incense (most appropriate one I had) will help...

note to self:

20 cones of incense at once are too many.

Sniffle, sniffle.

I hate it when people get this worked up over what's essentially very little. So I'm human. Big deal. So he called me on it. Big deal. So I bawled my eyes out. OK, that one's probably more of a big deal. So I was examining my wrists on the way home to see where, exactly, it is that I'd need to cut. Mercedes Lackey taught me everything I need to know.

Don't think I would, now. I always tend to start bawling my eyes out if I contemplate suicide hard enough to actually consider it, really truly. I feel very naked and unsafe without a watching personality in the back of my head to pull me back, incapacitate me until feeling better.

Why consider death?

This is a habit of mine. Fall madly in love with someone who doesn't appreciate it, push too far, lose friendship. Rinse, wring, repeat.

I've just about had enough.

but anyway

...knives are far better used for slicing up delicious, creamy, sweet, rich fudge with almonds.

Ow, my eyes.

Between the bawling-them-out phase and the incense, they're very sore and irritated. I'm exhausted, but trying to stay at least halfway awake. Decided to read some comfort fic in the form of CassandraClaire!Draco. Love the characterization.

I just really, really, really need some snuggling. Maybe I can borrow Mushu for a while, or maybe the lightsaber will feel like hugging back.

I miss OldCat.

Mmm: I am so good.

Made stuffing almost all by myself. Water, butter, onions, basil, lemon pepper, sage, white bread, cornbread. Mmmm.

I had to go back and add the sage after my tongue told me it was missing.

votania is baking a chicken for dinner tonight, and I'm the one who made the stuffing. Mmm. Delicious. If she doesn't get it in the oven soon, there will be no stuffing left.

As it is, she needs more.

oh yeah.

I made fudge last night, fudge with almonds.

It's yummy.

One fish, two fish.

Got a blue betta to be friends with Fire Blossom. evealone came over and drove me, with Nephew, to first the Home Depot to get new blinds for the window, then in search of a store to get some supplies for the upcoming birthday ordeal, didn't find such, and then to Petsmart for fishies. Nephew picked out two goldfish and a betta, the aforementioned blue one, bringing our fish tally up to two bettas (red fish, blue fish) and three assorted goldfish: one silver, one spotted, one gold.