Shirts that fail to be clean

If you've been around teenagers allowed to buy slightly crass T-shirts, you have probably seen the shirts that have a statement that would be considered crass or borderline "unprintable", with an image that takes it from off-color to the literal meaning of the words. For example, "Hey, nice melons!" illustrated with honeydew and cantaloupe.

I recently saw a shirt that utterly failed at this.

Caption: "Guard the family jewels!" Illustration: a squirrel with a pair of acorns.

It could have been a little cartoon king with a pair of gemstones. Or the caption could have been "Protect your nuts!" But the combination failed at plausible deniability. Back to English class. Don't mix your fucking metaphors.

Another didn't-post from azureghost

My foot hurts because it has a very nasty-looking bruise on the bottom. Good to know it is not just me falling apart.

RaPUNzel, RaPUNzel, let down your hair!

Called Darkside. Vented about the workplace and the database project. Learned about the fascinating and mighty properties of ctrl+alt+arrow. Engaged in war: I mentioned that when Darkside was in a truly foul mood, I remained very quiet. He commented that if it were that bad, there'd be a lot of ducks about. I replied that I'd be a silly goose to play chicken with him when he was feeling grouchy. War commenced. At a few points, we elicited groans or active screeching from the redhead.

Darkside: "They do say the pun is mightier than the sword."
Lunatic: "Aiiiiiiuuuuugh!"
hcolleen:"If it's making you make those noises, I don't want to hear it!"
Darkside: "But you're taking all the pun out of it!"