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[azurelunatic]

There must be an unseen fifth: the 'I' that directs all this. Because whoever's doing it, it's still 'I', while I'm doing it. The integrator?

We're fine as a multiplicity. Safest that way, for now.

Comments

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

The integrator?

Or the plenipotentiary/administrator

Main Entry: plenipotentiary
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ries
Date: circa 1656

: a person and especially a diplomatic agent invested with full power to transact business

[azurelunatic]

Mm.

Something far more elusive, I think.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

The Catalyst? Assists in the interaction but remains unchanged itself?

The Watcher?

The Puppetmaster? (heh)


Hrrm... I have the concept in my head of what you are talking about, but I can't seem to pin down one word that encapsulates it.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

The Mirror..... it gives true reflection to the others so that they might see themselves clearly. But itself is a non-sentient entity... merely a tool to keep things True.

Maybe?

No... yours has more of a maestro's touch.... something that is purposeful in guiding the others. Yet subtle and unobtrusive enough to not beg notice... like the hub of a wheel (or the eye of the storm :-)


I feel like I know this but it's at the edge of my awareness.... I don't know why I feel like I know. I now know exactly what you mean when you say it "Rings True"... because as soon as I read your statement above, I just Knew.

Fleeting impressions that I can't seem to lock onto... the fact that the Integrator (for lack of better description right now) is gender-less but in our gender-driven language, I am leaning towards the "He" descriptor.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

This is going to drive me mad....

Like reaching for a "memory" that tauntingly hovers just out of range.

[azurelunatic]

Majordomo?

[azurelunatic]

Possibly even corolla, that part of the flower which holds the petals.

[azurelunatic]

Odd. I don't see very much of a male aspect around my self/ves at all.

I've thought of it, actually, as me being a stage light, and my personalities being the gels.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I just think of the entity as "male" because it tends to have more masculine qualities?

[azurelunatic]

Perhaps. I am disinclined to be a shrinking violet.

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

Oh integrator! I saw the word interogator. I thought you were using James Redfields drama archetypes as a format for self induced multiple-personality-disorder.

How about the captain?

[azurelunatic]

Captain is far too bossy.

Haven't read any Redfield yet. Kyle told me I should.

[mikey-ex-nihilo.livejournal.com]

What he writes about has a nice ring to it, but application is tricky. Also I suspect that it hints at various things that it doesn't name outright. Particularly Feng Shui and Animism. It's a good reference from which to springboard into all sorts of Magick ideas if you know how to look for them.

[azurelunatic]

Hm.

His books are on my list of to-pick-up-at-used-bookstore-someday.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

Holy SHIT on a fucking stick.....!! *lightheaded*


I figured out why I recognize Him/It..... whatever He is... that's the Dream Mage. That's who I'm linked to.

And that is why I felt so strange about all this.... I didn't recognize any of the others. For months we've "talked" and LJ'd and I still felt no "connection" to you in the waking world (we are entirely too different, you and I). Which is why my conscious mind could not understand why we continued to have a dream link.

It's Him. He's the bridgelink between us.

[sionainn.livejournal.com]

He is the sub-conscious force that drives the others.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Because whoever's doing it, it's still 'I', while I'm doing it. The integrator?

Is this your only datapoint for the reasoning? Because if so, I would have to say that you have a logical fallacy. You are not four separate. You are all I.

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit do not have a fourth integrator. They are all God, one God.

You are all Joan. Azz/Joanie, Dagger, Marah, N%...you are all part of each other, created from one mind, one entity. Soulmates, if you will, because you *are* all one soul. There can be as many of you as are needed and necessary, and there need be none other, no "integrator", no greater "I" to direct you in working together.

In truth, in classical MPD, the core, central "I" is the smallest, youngest, and least capable of all. He or she who hid at the youngest age, and created another portion of herself to protect her. There is no over-arching personality controlling the rest of you like a puppetteer, and to search for one would be futile...and dangerous, and counter-productive to your sanity, I fear.

[azurelunatic]

Because it feels like more room in here.

I've said, at least to myself, many times, that I am the light, and my personalities are the gels. I-as-Azz am a gel.

[azurelunatic]

LJ ate the first reply; trying again.

Ever since I can remember being multiple, I've known that there is an "I" which is the things that hold true regardless of personality. "I" am the light that shines me. The personalities are the gels that color the light.

I'll always have gels. It would be nice, though, to find some that are as clear as possible.