Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2006-09-14 05:48 am
azurelunatic) wrote2006-09-14 05:48 am
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Brief De-Obfuscation for Those Just Joining Us: Darkside vs. Fuzzy
There are two males in my life (present and past) who get referred to in a very similar tone of mingled affection and annoyance. They are Darkside and Fuzzy Modem. I offer here a breakdown of some of the most common similarities and differences between Darkside and Fuzzy Modem.
Summary: Google Spreadsheets has a lot of improvements to go before they master export to HTML. Darkside is so much ♥, in a perfectly sour, sarcastic, and antisocial way. Fuzzy is a walking reality show waiting to happen, and my best position there is spectator, not co-star.
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| Fuzzy | Darkside | ||
| Gamer. | Gamer. | ||
| Male. | Male. | ||
| Geeky. Loves science fiction, computers, comics. | Geeky. Loves science fiction, computers, comics. | ||
| Works at a computer hardware/software store. | Does tech support via e-mail and phone. | ||
| No college degree that I know of. Extensive experience in 3D modeling. | Has a Bachelor's Degree in Real Computer Geek Stuff like programming, DBs, and End-User-Smackity. | ||
| Lives in Alaska. | Lives in Arizona. | ||
| Went to high school with me | Did not go to high school with me | ||
| Did not go to college with me, though he was employed as a pizza guy at UAF while I attended there. | Went to college with me | ||
| Has lived in assorted parts of the US Southwest regions courtesy of his parents' divorce. Has been to Alaska. | Has never been to Alaska; has been all over various parts of Europe courtesy of the US Army | ||
| Occasionally collaborates with me on creative projects. Has creative chemistry with me like you wouldn't believe. | Occasionally shyly shares glimpses at his creative projects in process. We've never worked on anything together, really. | ||
| Over six feet tall; ranges in build; no glasses; hairstyle subject to change; natural hair color currently brown. | About my height; very skinny; wears glasses; dishwater blond when hair is a decent length; hair cut short for job interviews and appears light brown with bits of silver creeping in. | ||
| Known as "that idiot" on a regular basis. | Intelligence has never been questioned; emotional baggage, maturity, and cluefulness sometimes are. | ||
| Divorced. One daughter (that we know of). | Never married; no children. | ||
| His real name is Shawn. | I do not use his real name online. I am likely to refer to him as "my blonder half" when talking about him aloud. | ||
| ADHD. | No ADHD, gods be praised. | ||
| Lives by himself in whatever cruddy place he's renting now. | Lives with his parents until finances stop being utterly unworkable. | ||
| Excessively extroverted. Actor. Requires an audience. | The closest to 100% introvert I've ever met. Prickly and antisocial. | ||
| Has done a multitude of incredibly, immensely, mind-bogglingly stupid things. Sometimes they're hilarious, sometimes they're dangerous, and sometimes they're just stupid. | Has heard a rather lot of the "That Idiot Shawn" stories. Wouldn't mind hanging out with the guy. Was "the sane/quiet/well-behaved one" in most social groups. | ||
| Was my #1 crush from 1996 to 2000. | Is my #1 crush as of 2001 and counting. | ||
| Was sort of involved with me in an "are they or aren't they together?" kind of thing for a while. | I think we'd be perfect together. He has his own ideas on that topic, and is inclined to disagree. | ||
| Borrowed my virginity; lost it somewhere. | Attempting to get a hug from him is a struggle. | ||
| Was my high school best friend. | Is my best friend right now, despite the odds. | ||
| Contact is sporadic and random and that's OK. | I actively keep communications live. We talk on the phone once a week unless things get really hectic. I bought a car largely so I could keep face-to-face contact with him on my schedule, not his. | ||
| Is a poor emotional risk for a relationship partner. | Is a very sensitive, sweet, warm, and caring kind of guy. | ||
| Inflicted untold emotional and psychological damage on me throughout the course of our doomed affair. Notable events included the entire summer of 1996, and that one time that I was trying to sleep and then when he sort of got engaged and neglected to tell me about it quite as promptly as I should have heard about it (notably, *before* the intimacy). Contributed heavily to more than one major depressive episode. Enjoyed mind games. Controlling and manipulative. | Helped me work through most of the Shawn-inflicted damage. May have saved my life, or at least my sanity and stability, both of which I'd feared were lost. |
Summary: Google Spreadsheets has a lot of improvements to go before they master export to HTML. Darkside is so much ♥, in a perfectly sour, sarcastic, and antisocial way. Fuzzy is a walking reality show waiting to happen, and my best position there is spectator, not co-star.
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I became your reader after one of your Shawn stories in
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Celebrity look-alikes
Darkside: Before Tom Felton hit puberty, we were all convinced that Tom Felton was going to grow up to look just like Darkside. Only Darkside wasn't half so bleached. (After Tom Felton's chin proved to be too square, the idea that Darkside was a grown Draco Malfoy was abandoned with some reluctance.)
Re: Celebrity look-alikes
Shawn isn't pretty enough to play Rocky, isn't dorky enough to do a good Brad, and isn't fabulous enough to be Frank.
Stupid things with hair
Darkside: has let his lovely shoulder-length hair be butchered at his father's orders, and varies between business cut and whatever that grows out into, depending on how long it's been since his last interview/last nagging from the Old Man. The business cut does not particularly flatter him. Is occasionally too lazy to shave for extended periods of time; is often too lazy to shave on the weekends.
Re: Stupid things with hair
Darkside: receding hairline.
Tears
Darkside: has made me cry maybe half a billion times.
Fuzzy: singularly inept at comforting a crying Lunatic, usually by saying something abusive and making things worse.
Darkside: has successfully comforted me a billion times, and has built back up my self-confidence after Shawn's abuse and ineptitude.
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Darkside: Was there for me when needed, and encouraged me in strong, independant directions according to what would be good for me, rather than what would be convenient or pleasant for him.
Breaking up is hard to do:
Darkside: Gave up on hope for a relationship with him as a direct result of a quiet, mature, and private conversation with him. Rebound process involving me crying on him and him showing me silly Star Wars fan vids, me crying on some friends for a night and getting tea, hugs, cookies, and sympathy, and then standing up straight and holding my chin up and doing my level best to carry on. No plans for any sort of rebound relationship. Spoke to him a week later with our usual this-is-the-weekend-how-are-you check-in conversation.
Chances for getting together with me (again?):
Darkside: May submit petition for courtship along with any other eligible prospects. The petition for courtship would have a decent chance of being approved; anything more than that would depend on the courtship.
Rights in my head:
Darkside: gets to recommend media to me. Gets to beat the fuck out of me with duct tape swords and any other agreed-upon form of combat, which may or may not include video games, though those are to be not on a regular basis. Gets to give me advice. I must tell the truth to him at all times, even truths that I don't admit to myself. Doesn't get to even see my universes without negotiation. Gets to see me when I'm weak; can make me believe that it's not all my fault. Could lay claim to non-related next-of-kin position with negotiation. Gets to call me at any hour of the day for any reason, though if he abuses it I'll smack him one. Has a key.
Re: Rights in my head:
Drugs:
Darkside: Caffeine. But not coffee. Doesn't like alcohol. Almost frighteningly straight-edge, except he'd rather just quietly avoid what he doesn't go for, rather than making a big production of it.