azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (pentagram)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 ([personal profile] azurelunatic) wrote2002-04-28 04:05 am

Dead in the water

...It would probably be a damn dumb idea to make Joanie dual-boot, or septuple boot, religiously.

Though it's an interesting idea. Install a different religious operating system with each of the major world religions...

I'd go nuts. They'd argue and clamour and gods help us if we tried to decide on a main front personality.

---Literally, that. Plurally.

Adam can see how someone who was raised without religious guidance could have come to my religious conclusions, and sees furthermore that my religious operating system, my worldviews, are sane and compatible with his on a day to day roommate basis. Glad to be told this.

Somewhere deep inside me is mourning for what could have been. I suppose I'm not doing this yet because it's not yet manifested?

If this is a test of me, I swear to gods I'm going to be so angry. I don't think Adam would stoop so low as to test my loyalty to him, though, by having him break up with me to see how I'd react. He was genuinely upset when we came in. He'd been that way for some time.

"For his own good" doesn't always mean "making him cry his eyes out," dear girl.

Must talk with Darkside at length on Monday.

The white candles burned all the way out. I made sure. I kept quasi-wakeful/sleeping vigil by them on the couch through last night. The shavings of the red were burned away, purified, by the white candles.

I'm your firestarted/ Twisted firestarter...

Extraordinary focus.

Tomorrow, the blue candle, and the white ones. The polishing; the armoring.

[identity profile] iroshi.livejournal.com 2002-04-28 07:34 am (UTC)(link)
It may be a test of you. But it's not a test of Adam's making. Remember that. I don't think anything is over yet. It may be on hold, but nothing is over. It may yet be over...but it's not there yet.

Re: Thanks for the nudge

[identity profile] iroshi.livejournal.com 2002-04-28 10:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, actually, that wasn't what I was referring to. Anything requiring your guard is pretty much over. Something might come up, but it's likely to be ineffectual.

No, rather, I meant that which you wish would continue...might still.

[identity profile] wiredferret.livejournal.com 2002-04-29 10:25 am (UTC)(link)
Just as you are happy that he is finding his center-self again, I think you should not create bifurcations in yourself to suit external needs.

You could go dual boot, but would that really be serving yourself or those you worship well?

My god asks for all of me, not just the worship parts.