Spiritual-energetic "firsts"

[azurelunatic]

Until moving to Arizona and going to DeVry, I was almost entirely solo. Anything I did, I did by myself. In younger years, Narcissa and I practiced the usual childhood magics together. We have since parted paths, through distance and diverging interests.

There were a few moments here when there were group works, but that was a student/teacher tutorial fashion, demonstrate, copy, do the same thing together.

There came a moment when two people joined hands and joined powers, without reservation, for the greater good. Never before have I felt something so graceful, inspiring, intimate.

That, I think, was my true loss of virginity.

And what did I do with it? I fell in love.

Comments

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that I can truly say I've done that. I've been in group ritual, and felt excluded. I've been in group ritual where I gathered up power as it passed through me and directed it myself (letting enough flow on past me that the actual "leaders" of the circle noticed nothing amiss...it was an immensely powerful circle). I have done workings together where the energies were actually separate, cojoined in purpose, but not in actual energy, if that makes sense.

I don't honestly think I've ever done a working where my power joined with someone else's. I imagine it would require a trust level far above what I have with anyone except my Falcon, and he...doesn't do this sort of thing at the moment. He used to, and he will again, but not right now. He's working through things, religiously. It's fucked him over in the past, you see.

I've done workings with Amber, but that's been the separate-paths-to-the-same-goal thing. She works more from a priestess point of view, while I work elemental magic...we make a great team, but our energies don't cojoin. And if they did, it would be more likely a matter of me gathering in energies from her and directing them for the both of us. But that's our dynamic: I lead, she follows. It's not an equal relationship, and never has been.

No, at this point in my life, there isn't anyone that this is likely to happen with. I look forward to it. A virginity I never realized I had. I love the way you make me look at life sometimes. We make each other think, I think (at least I *believe* I make you think sometimes in the same way you prod my own thoughts; I could be wrong), and it's good for both of us.