Pent-up resentment

[azurelunatic]

I resent the fact that it was my tutoring keeping the Little Fayoumis (for those coming in late, he's the son of my former roommate, my virtual nephew) even reasonably near grade level in school, and then Marx shoved me aside and then failed to perform. It's not that I have control issues, it's that I resent giving up control of something to someone who I know is going to fuck it up, and then they proceed to fuck it up. (Okay, maybe I do have control issues, but I think that one is a legitimate one.)

I would still like to hurt the person who broke one of my duct-tape swords while I was in college that first disastrous time. I was wandering around holding onto the thing, looking like a lost soul. This fucknut asked if he could see it. I, being the trusting person I was at the time, handed it over. The little shithead broke it over his knee. I should have beat him with the broken pieces and turned him over to the campus cops. I derive some semblance of comfort from the fact that karma exists, and he'll have fucked himself over multiple times by merely being such an asshat.

And, "dear" paranoid shithead who used to date a friend of mine, your claims that you could avoid your karma are really amusing. You're a pretentious little fuck and very full of your own importance and deep dark magical mystery, but getting kicked out of college for doing unauthorized things on their network was totally the work of a complete n00b. "Avoid karma" my ass; that was pure payback for being too dumb to not stick your dick in things that might bite it.

Comments

[lacey]

I would still like to hurt the person who broke one of my duct-tape swords while I was in college that first disastrous time. I was wandering around holding onto the thing, looking like a lost soul. This fucknut asked if he could see it. I, being the trusting person I was at the time, handed it over. The little shithead broke it over his knee.

That made me really sad. Really really sad for you.

I should have beat him with the broken pieces and turned him over to the campus cops.

Yes you should've.

[azurelunatic]

That, alas, was in the middle of a serious depressive episode (triggered by a very scary and wrong set of breakup drama) so I wasn't thinking clearly at all.

[azurelunatic]

Since I'm going into duct tape sword adventures again, I'm reclaiming that grief and rage that I didn't really have the power to express back then. I wish I could just leave it in the past where it belongs, but unless I get through it now, it'll still be lurking there waiting for me.

I'd say that the particular sword didn't have any sentimental value, but it did. My high school best friend conspired with another friend of mine to make that sword, another sword, and a shield for me. The other sword was the one with the top sentimental value, but this one was small enough to tote around on a regular basis. (I'm not mourning THAT part of it, now, thank goodness. The high school best friend was That Idiot Shawn, who was the one I was just dumped by at that time. The other friend was the one who would later become my Evil Ex BJ.)

[lacey]

I wish I could just leave it in the past where it belongs, but unless I get through it now, it'll still be lurking there waiting for me.

Well, you're right... it's good to get it out. I see why you didn't bust the little shit right between the eyes, now... I was wondering.

[azurelunatic]

I wondered that myself, after the fact, except for where I was finding it an unreasonable effort to walk to the cafeteria, go to class, or get dressed, most of the time.

[lacey]

That's where I'm at right now...

[azurelunatic]

My sympathies.