Stupid and Brave

[azurelunatic]

My sleep patterns are all out of wack, which is why I was asleep at 8pm and am awake now. I woke up to the sound of shouting and a touch of thumping, here and there. It was a man and a woman yelling at the top of their lungs at each other.

I considered calling the police. There was my phone. I grabbed my phone. My computer screen was in front of my face. This was what the thousand essays had mentioned. This was time to put my body where my mouth was and follow through. I grabbed a jacket to throw on over my lurid pink nightgown. I stuffed my feet in my fluffy black slippers. I fished my 3 D-cell Maglite from under the heap of cloak and scarf and sweater on the floor across from the front door. I stepped outside and scanned around with my ears. I thought it would be the troll and his girlfriend yelling at each other again, but it wasn't; it was coming from the next apartment: across the way and to the west. "GET OUT OF MY FACE!" she was screaming. He screamed back.

I marched up to the door (as well as you can in fluffy slippers) and knocked firmly, aware of the phone in my fist and the flashlight cradled in the crook of my arm. The yelling stopped. He opened the door, wearing a backpack. Average build, short (not registering as taller than me (which means he could have been by at least three inches, as I'll consider myself the height of a six foot man)).

It was dark inside; I spied her, standing, upset and apparently unhurt, shorter than both me and him. "Are you all right, ma'am?" I asked.

She said something that indicated that she was.

"Maybe you'd better go cool down a bit," I told him then, firm and cool and implacable, as if there was a Vulcan standing in my awkward body and absurd slippers. "Go for a walk or something."

Perhaps he'd already been leaving, but he walked out as I stood by, and she shut the door firmly.

"Sorry for disturbing you," he said as he disappeared into the night.

I popped back in my apartment and started shaking. They have police for these things. I could have put her in worse danger by noticing. He could have had a gun. I should have paused to offer her comfort. I should perhaps make a police report in case there's a history. I have no idea if there's a history, and if so, who's inflicting more hurt and who has more power. I came to IRC for comfort. They took a few moments to listen and counsel me, then went straight back to the boards, dragging me with them. The night's been nearly silent since then, though I kept my ear out for any sound that might have been his return.

Comments

[not_a_sniglet]

That must have been horribly scary for you.

*HUG*

[azurelunatic]

It was not scary until after the fact. One of the ways I react to certain kinds of crisis situations is with calm until it's all over, at which point I fall apart.

Getting me working was probably one of the best things #lj_s could have done.

[twistedchick]

I think you did the right thing. There are times when showing up in your slippers and looking annoyed and awake when you want to be asleep is more effective than having large armed cops at the door. Many cops really don't want to get involved in anything they can consider a domestic complaint.

I have also done the same thing, in much the same way, more than once, with upstairs neighbors at various apartments.

[azurelunatic]

Lowering the wall, I suppose; it's less of an immediate threat than a cop is.

[profit]

That is my assessment, as well.

[noracharles]

You are very brave.

[lacey]

I likely would not have been so brave. I'm glad you did that, and gladder it ended well.

[azurelunatic]

You are tiny, and are ill-equipped to deal with an adult man.

I am tall and strong and mean and big, even if I don't have that much endurance anymore. I don't have to make some of the considerations that you do, about potential incidents of physical violence. Now that I know what stabbing feels like, I'm perhaps less afraid. (It hurt, but I lived, and they didn't even give me any pain meds.) I'm not going to pretend I'm unbreakable, but I'd bet on me vs. an average man, especially if I were mad enough.

[lacey]

I'm now envisioning the "It's dangerous to go alone! Take this!" macro :D

You're certainly right about that- hadn't read it with those considerations in mind.

[profit]

I wouldn't put it all down to size, though. I would not be surprised if Yuli got the same response, and she's actually smaller than Fairlight. There's something to be said for strength of conviction and confidence. This is not to say that lacey isn't brave, because I'm sure she is; merely a comment to the effect that if you know you're right and clearly expect someone to do the right thing, you will often have the moral force to get them to do it, at least in the heat of the moment...unless you're dealing with a sociopath.

[profit]

Good for you.

[azurelunatic]

Thank you.

[blamebrampton.livejournal.com]

You could also have saved her life in one of the hypotheticals you've been imagining. I know that things are always scarier in the US, but I think you did the right thing. As it sounds, he could well have been a reasonably reasonable man, so perhaps you stopped his temper from making him do something he would have regretted forever, too.

[azurelunatic]

It's being drilled into me that if I see or hear a person in distress, particularly a woman, that I need to fight a lifetime of societal messages telling me to leave the situation alone.

I could have indeed.

Given that I'm home a lot, I think I would have heard them before if this were normal, so this may have been a one-off.

[wibbble]

I agree with your subject line, but add that most things that are brave are also at least a bit stupid too. That's why it's brave.

[azurelunatic]

Indeed.

[corruptflame.livejournal.com]

You were calm, reasonable, you weren't pointing fingers and placing blame or yelling at them about how loud they were...it seems to me you handled it pretty professionally. That's a 10 in customer service...

Yeah. We do have police for this sort of thing...but I think you'd have had a much stronger instinct if one was really needed.

[azurelunatic]

The time in Phoenix with that guy (http://azurelunatic.livejournal.com/5603642.html), that was police time.