Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2012-04-06 01:15 am
azurelunatic) wrote2012-04-06 01:15 am
Entry tags:
This is interesting.
It's been shark week. I've been feeling not quite up to everything, and my sleep schedule has been suffering. I woke up with fucked-up shoulders. I wound up doing about an hour and a half of work from home after realizing that I really, really, was not going to make it physically in.
Then I'm Googling how to find the RSS feed for a Blogspot journal for![[twitter.com profile]](https://p.dreamwidth.org/e0caa790ec10/-/twitter.com/favicon.ico)
playwithfyr and I heed the call of nature.
It's been shark week, as I said. The Communists have invaded the funhouse, and all that. It's been mostly quiet for about a day, and I figure that maybe it was just short. But I feel the familiar squeezing sensation that I have come to associate with something large muscling its way out of my fucking cervix (it hasn't been really what I'd call cramps, as I don't really have to medicate myself to make it through this, just uncomfortable), and I know that something's coming out. And I feel the squishy sensation of a large fucking clot in between my inner labia and headed right up into clitville.
As one does, I reach my hand down and remove the gunk to examine the size and shape of whatever my freaky uterus has shared with me, and I bring it up to look --
-- and that's where it all goes suddenly interesting.
I am used to very alarmingly sized blood clots. They are dark red and mean business. If I squish an alarmingly sized blood clot around, a lot of blood come out of it, and I am left with some paler whitish-pinkish stringy stuff. You know where you are with a blood clot, and where you are is, you need to get that off your anatomy and disposed of, or I don't care what you're wearing on the undercarriage, it's going to look like someone was filming a remake of Carrie in your pants, and you only wish you could telekinetically dispose of everything into a convenient pail of bleach. I call them "jellyfish", and the number of emphatic segments that I put into the description ("jellyfish", "the jellyfish are sailing into jelly harbor", "the jellyfish have overtaken jelly harbor and commandeered the entire jelly fleet, and have commenced the attack on Jelly City, and an advance scouting party is shooting off signals from Jelly Mountain") represent how massive the attack is.
This was pinkish, blobby on the surface, covered in blood from being right next to a substantial blood clot, but not itself made of blood.
I immediately wondered if I'd miscarried somehow. Then I realized how immensely silly that idea was, on account of my not having been around any unchaperoned sperm since, and I looked this up actually, in my LJ, a bit ago -- 2004. It is now 2012. If I'd somehow become pregnant the last time I got fucked anywhere near the genitals by someone with sperm, I'd likely have a kid old enough to ask why Maman is shouting at the internet again.
My next thoughts were not fit to print, and in the absence of immediate access to IRC (did I mention I am pretty sure my desktop's HD is failing? I've got a full backup pulled on external.) I turned to Twitter.
"holy fuck you guys something really weird just came out of my uterus."
From past incidents, we can actually pretty much guarantee that when something really fucking bizarre goes down, the way I first share it with the internet is probably going to be at least mildly humorous. (Also the AK-47 guy incident; I didn't get around to telling IRC about the actual AK-47 until I'd exhausted the hilarious potential of "guy gets hugged by another guy, dives into closet".)
I snapped a couple pictures of the "something really weird", helpfully labeled:
Gross medical shit http://twitpic.com/9642cl
After taking pictures, I rinsed out one of those convenient little pill bags that I happened to have, and put the thing in that, and popped it in the freezer.ghoti advised on Twitter that frozen is just fine to give to the pathology lab, so long as it's not freezer-burned. I added a little water, on the grounds that things frozen inside ice cubes tend to be less freezer burned than things frozen with their surfaces in contact with air. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to get in to see someone for a pap smear and all, and frozen is better than in some other kind of state.
I then commenced the Googling. I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome in ~'08, so funny but benign things in the vicinity of my reproductive system are not unknown. But this is the first Rather Large Thing that is not a blood clot that has popped out.
Most of the pictures of uterine fibroids I found were roundish and smooth. The surface of whatever that was, not so smooth. Most descriptions of uterine fibroids and endometriosis I've encountered have mentioned the unbearable pain, and actually of late I haven't even been needing to take the 400mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours that used to be necessary to get me through the first 48 hours of a menstrual cycle without a pain level of "this hurts and I do not want it to be happening at all, cannot think, hurt, ow" from, oh, approximately the time it was more than rust spots on my underwear, until sometime around the 6-month cycle of DOOM.
Even the photos of decidual casts I managed to scare up seemed to be rather smoother, and the lumpy surface just pokes me the wrong way. The description "cauliflower" when mentioned in the vicinity of the uterus and/or cervix returns some pages that for my current peace of mind, I'm not going to spend much more time than this right now describing.
It's in my freezer now, whatever the hell it is, and when I do get an appointment for a pelvic exam booked, I'm going to freeze up some ice packs, put together a little cooler full of *fun*, and tote that along with me.
Oh, and to make matters even more fun? My desktop's been acting in ways consistent with a dying hard drive. I am at least a half-competent tech so my game plan is to grab a new HD sometime in the next couple weeks. At the first sign of trouble, I did indeed pull a full backup on the external, so basically I'm living out of Chrome right now (one program at a time is well enough), dealing with the periodic unsubtle freezing and crashing (did you know that sometimes the browser doesn't fully crash until you click the button to send or not send the error report?), dealing with the occasional scary-looking bluescreen and the scandisk that won't go away and gets more complex each time, and just a whole sack of *bees*. (I do still have George too, and she is sweet, slow, and does not like dealing with videos much for some weird reason.)
It's just a laugh a minute around here.
Fortunately, work continues to be awesome.
Then I'm Googling how to find the RSS feed for a Blogspot journal for
It's been shark week, as I said. The Communists have invaded the funhouse, and all that. It's been mostly quiet for about a day, and I figure that maybe it was just short. But I feel the familiar squeezing sensation that I have come to associate with something large muscling its way out of my fucking cervix (it hasn't been really what I'd call cramps, as I don't really have to medicate myself to make it through this, just uncomfortable), and I know that something's coming out. And I feel the squishy sensation of a large fucking clot in between my inner labia and headed right up into clitville.
As one does, I reach my hand down and remove the gunk to examine the size and shape of whatever my freaky uterus has shared with me, and I bring it up to look --
-- and that's where it all goes suddenly interesting.
I am used to very alarmingly sized blood clots. They are dark red and mean business. If I squish an alarmingly sized blood clot around, a lot of blood come out of it, and I am left with some paler whitish-pinkish stringy stuff. You know where you are with a blood clot, and where you are is, you need to get that off your anatomy and disposed of, or I don't care what you're wearing on the undercarriage, it's going to look like someone was filming a remake of Carrie in your pants, and you only wish you could telekinetically dispose of everything into a convenient pail of bleach. I call them "jellyfish", and the number of emphatic segments that I put into the description ("jellyfish", "the jellyfish are sailing into jelly harbor", "the jellyfish have overtaken jelly harbor and commandeered the entire jelly fleet, and have commenced the attack on Jelly City, and an advance scouting party is shooting off signals from Jelly Mountain") represent how massive the attack is.
This was pinkish, blobby on the surface, covered in blood from being right next to a substantial blood clot, but not itself made of blood.
I immediately wondered if I'd miscarried somehow. Then I realized how immensely silly that idea was, on account of my not having been around any unchaperoned sperm since, and I looked this up actually, in my LJ, a bit ago -- 2004. It is now 2012. If I'd somehow become pregnant the last time I got fucked anywhere near the genitals by someone with sperm, I'd likely have a kid old enough to ask why Maman is shouting at the internet again.
My next thoughts were not fit to print, and in the absence of immediate access to IRC (did I mention I am pretty sure my desktop's HD is failing? I've got a full backup pulled on external.) I turned to Twitter.
"holy fuck you guys something really weird just came out of my uterus."
From past incidents, we can actually pretty much guarantee that when something really fucking bizarre goes down, the way I first share it with the internet is probably going to be at least mildly humorous. (Also the AK-47 guy incident; I didn't get around to telling IRC about the actual AK-47 until I'd exhausted the hilarious potential of "guy gets hugged by another guy, dives into closet".)
I snapped a couple pictures of the "something really weird", helpfully labeled:
Gross medical shit http://twitpic.com/9642cl
After taking pictures, I rinsed out one of those convenient little pill bags that I happened to have, and put the thing in that, and popped it in the freezer.
ghoti advised on Twitter that frozen is just fine to give to the pathology lab, so long as it's not freezer-burned. I added a little water, on the grounds that things frozen inside ice cubes tend to be less freezer burned than things frozen with their surfaces in contact with air. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to get in to see someone for a pap smear and all, and frozen is better than in some other kind of state. I then commenced the Googling. I was diagnosed with Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome in ~'08, so funny but benign things in the vicinity of my reproductive system are not unknown. But this is the first Rather Large Thing that is not a blood clot that has popped out.
Most of the pictures of uterine fibroids I found were roundish and smooth. The surface of whatever that was, not so smooth. Most descriptions of uterine fibroids and endometriosis I've encountered have mentioned the unbearable pain, and actually of late I haven't even been needing to take the 400mg of ibuprofen every 6 hours that used to be necessary to get me through the first 48 hours of a menstrual cycle without a pain level of "this hurts and I do not want it to be happening at all, cannot think, hurt, ow" from, oh, approximately the time it was more than rust spots on my underwear, until sometime around the 6-month cycle of DOOM.
Even the photos of decidual casts I managed to scare up seemed to be rather smoother, and the lumpy surface just pokes me the wrong way. The description "cauliflower" when mentioned in the vicinity of the uterus and/or cervix returns some pages that for my current peace of mind, I'm not going to spend much more time than this right now describing.
It's in my freezer now, whatever the hell it is, and when I do get an appointment for a pelvic exam booked, I'm going to freeze up some ice packs, put together a little cooler full of *fun*, and tote that along with me.
Oh, and to make matters even more fun? My desktop's been acting in ways consistent with a dying hard drive. I am at least a half-competent tech so my game plan is to grab a new HD sometime in the next couple weeks. At the first sign of trouble, I did indeed pull a full backup on the external, so basically I'm living out of Chrome right now (one program at a time is well enough), dealing with the periodic unsubtle freezing and crashing (did you know that sometimes the browser doesn't fully crash until you click the button to send or not send the error report?), dealing with the occasional scary-looking bluescreen and the scandisk that won't go away and gets more complex each time, and just a whole sack of *bees*. (I do still have George too, and she is sweet, slow, and does not like dealing with videos much for some weird reason.)
It's just a laugh a minute around here.
Fortunately, work continues to be awesome.
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Also, yum? :/ :P
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Have been through a variant of that... "eep I'm lactating; am I PREGNANT?? ... wait. Pregnant people don't normally menstruate. Am lactating because the Wymminz Hormonez are running high right now. Okay."
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Oh my.
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Also there is a lot of Homestuck at this con already. I thought of you XD
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I guess I'm lucky enough that most of my crotchsnot variations are easily identifiable (well, for a value of identified that includes "it's a squishy red clump, I'll just assume that's uterine lining"); but at least you can rule out certain things even without a positive ID, which is probably reassuring. :D
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