Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-04-26 01:26 am
azurelunatic) wrote2013-04-26 01:26 am
Swearing at Work: a caveat
I have seen http://nic.ferrier.me.uk/blog/2013_04/swearing-at-work going around, and it says some very sensible things. I have another caution to make.
I am not opposed to swearing with trusted intimates in any private situation, even if that private situation happens to be within the workplace. Behind my Overlady's closed office door, we have used language that would shock a sailor.
However. You are immensely unlikely to be working exclusively with your best friends, and even within a supposedly same-ranked group, some people may have a little or a lot more social power or potential, and may not realize it.
The advice to not swear at people is dead on. Nic suggests swearing at or about bad situations. What went not greatly mentioned is that some complete jerks take it out on everyone around them when they are in a bad situation. I do not mean to imply that you, the reader, are one of these. What I mean to say is that any given person in the room could have known one.
One of the signs of danger in a domestic abuse situation is any form of expressed anger, or signs of loss of control. If you stay very quiet and do not make things worse, you might not get hurt even if the offending object is destroyed.
If you choose to express anger in the workplace, swearing or not, be aware of your colleagues' reactions. Respect it if someone tells you to simmer down, but that is not what to worry about. Look to see if anyone flinches and goes small and quiet, or goes frozen and fragile. The people affected badly are the least likely to speak up.
Dial back the rage, apologize briefly with good humour. "Sorry, it's just so frustrating." And carry on.
I am not opposed to swearing with trusted intimates in any private situation, even if that private situation happens to be within the workplace. Behind my Overlady's closed office door, we have used language that would shock a sailor.
However. You are immensely unlikely to be working exclusively with your best friends, and even within a supposedly same-ranked group, some people may have a little or a lot more social power or potential, and may not realize it.
The advice to not swear at people is dead on. Nic suggests swearing at or about bad situations. What went not greatly mentioned is that some complete jerks take it out on everyone around them when they are in a bad situation. I do not mean to imply that you, the reader, are one of these. What I mean to say is that any given person in the room could have known one.
One of the signs of danger in a domestic abuse situation is any form of expressed anger, or signs of loss of control. If you stay very quiet and do not make things worse, you might not get hurt even if the offending object is destroyed.
If you choose to express anger in the workplace, swearing or not, be aware of your colleagues' reactions. Respect it if someone tells you to simmer down, but that is not what to worry about. Look to see if anyone flinches and goes small and quiet, or goes frozen and fragile. The people affected badly are the least likely to speak up.
Dial back the rage, apologize briefly with good humour. "Sorry, it's just so frustrating." And carry on.
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This, exactly.
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