Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2013-06-07 09:11 am
azurelunatic) wrote2013-06-07 09:11 am
Entry tags:
gender/pronouns: still hating everything
It's useful for me to know that anything that smacks of Other People Dictating Things still makes me explode.
Even when it's not meant to do that.
So there's a love meme; one of the things about this love meme that's meant to be helpful is pronoun listing. And I've got pronouns posted in my profile.
The thing is, it turns out (and I've amended my profile a bit, though it's always said that people who actually know me, and I'm thinking for example thatzarhooie would ACTUALLY KNOW ME, (and I have picked her as an example given that she's my braintwin and all ♥ not because she's done anything that warrants calling out) should use pronouns appropriate to how they know me) that at least in part, I view gender on the internet as a privacy thing. (And that was a fun exercise in nested sentence structure, like unto my teenage emails with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
boojum; the gender topic BRINGS IT ALL BACK.)
Therefore, I am *simultaneously*:
- preferring that people who know me with a level of emotional intimacy to have been allowed through my various defensive layers be allowed to use individual pronouns, including binary gendered ones, in public
- not wanting to explicitly out myself in a prominent place as someone who ought to receive discrimination as a woman
- flailing angrily over the idea that people who know me with great emotional intimacy and are therefore allowed to use appropriate binary gendered pronouns might mistake instructions meant for people who don't know me from the next Lunatic as an indirect communication that They Are Doing It Wrong
- and then there *still are* situations where plural/gender-neutral pronouns are the most appropriate ones.
GENDER IS HARD AND I HATE IT.
Even when it's not meant to do that.
So there's a love meme; one of the things about this love meme that's meant to be helpful is pronoun listing. And I've got pronouns posted in my profile.
The thing is, it turns out (and I've amended my profile a bit, though it's always said that people who actually know me, and I'm thinking for example that
zarhooie would ACTUALLY KNOW ME, (and I have picked her as an example given that she's my braintwin and all ♥ not because she's done anything that warrants calling out) should use pronouns appropriate to how they know me) that at least in part, I view gender on the internet as a privacy thing. (And that was a fun exercise in nested sentence structure, like unto my teenage emails with boojum; the gender topic BRINGS IT ALL BACK.) Therefore, I am *simultaneously*:
- preferring that people who know me with a level of emotional intimacy to have been allowed through my various defensive layers be allowed to use individual pronouns, including binary gendered ones, in public
- not wanting to explicitly out myself in a prominent place as someone who ought to receive discrimination as a woman
- flailing angrily over the idea that people who know me with great emotional intimacy and are therefore allowed to use appropriate binary gendered pronouns might mistake instructions meant for people who don't know me from the next Lunatic as an indirect communication that They Are Doing It Wrong
- and then there *still are* situations where plural/gender-neutral pronouns are the most appropriate ones.
GENDER IS HARD AND I HATE IT.
no subject