Public release of a fic from last year: BBC Sherlock, "The Unsavory Urologist"

[azurelunatic]

Last year I wrote a fic for Steph, working title "Beeslash". It made me giggle evilly for more than 30 seconds.

The Unsavory Urologist (1261 words) by azurelunatic
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/Bees
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, OMC murder victim, Bees - Character
Additional Tags: unwise life choices, Human Sherlock, Asexual Sherlock, Humor, entirely too many penis euphemisms, Body Horror, Drug Use, cocaine is a hell of a drug, Nudity, Insects, Bees, Animal Harm, For Science!, human Watson, even Watson has limits, intellectual disability slurs, mental health slurs, justified kink-shaming, Watson has nothing against asexuality, most asexuals don't wind up in A&E for sex-adjacent stunts, Sherlock is the Outliers Georg of foolish ace sex-adjacent stunts, blackmailable pictures, metaphorical bee dick, human dicks and real bees, I know too much about actual bee dick, did you know that bees have peens, Brits written by an American, not actually britpicked, veteran character written by civilian from another country, texual memes and other references, hail Sarah who really is a secret genius but is otherwise uninvolved with this fic, my beta thought this fic was a good idea, my beta is an internationally recognized expert on ass-babies, no omegaverse characters were harmed in the making of this fic, no actual bees were harmed either, no affiliation with the actual Doc Johnson, sober Sherlock and high Sherlock agree in a lot of things, but have different levels of impulse control
Summary:

A "doctor" with controversial, bee-related, health claims has been found dead. Sherlock tries science. Watson is not here for this.

(Please see tags.)

Comments

[vass]

Only related to this story in that it is crack and involves sex, but:

If you haven't seen this twitter thread, I think you might... well, "need to" is perhaps too strong a word, but I think it is extremely your brand. And now I finally know what all those yaoi authors meant by "citrus".

Content notes: food, sex toys, bad poetry, penguins?, botanical similes, censored dice.

[azurelunatic]

That is AMAZING, thank you.

[batrachian]

*completely fucking slain*

[batrachian]

What did I just read. :)

[azurelunatic]

Yes. :D

[alanj]

I was amused, and then: "He's high as a kite and putting bees on his dick so I feel confident that whatever is actually in that bag it's got nothing to do with rhinos. Please come around with your least flappable men." slayed me. Well played, sir.

[azurelunatic]

Thank you!

I figured John would at least want to warn them what they were walking into.