azurelunatic

Last year I wrote a fic for Steph, working title "Beeslash". It made me giggle evilly for more than 30 seconds.

The Unsavory Urologist (1261 words) by azurelunatic
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/Bees
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, OMC murder victim, Bees - Character
Additional Tags: unwise life choices, Human Sherlock, Asexual Sherlock, Humor, entirely too many penis euphemisms, Body Horror, Drug Use, cocaine is a hell of a drug, Nudity, Insects, Bees, Animal Harm, For Science!, human Watson, even Watson has limits, intellectual disability slurs, mental health slurs, justified kink-shaming, Watson has nothing against asexuality, most asexuals don't wind up in A&E for sex-adjacent stunts, Sherlock is the Outliers Georg of foolish ace sex-adjacent stunts, blackmailable pictures, metaphorical bee dick, human dicks and real bees, I know too much about actual bee dick, did you know that bees have peens, Brits written by an American, not actually britpicked, veteran character written by civilian from another country, texual memes and other references, hail Sarah who really is a secret genius but is otherwise uninvolved with this fic, my beta thought this fic was a good idea, my beta is an internationally recognized expert on ass-babies, no omegaverse characters were harmed in the making of this fic, no actual bees were harmed either, no affiliation with the actual Doc Johnson, sober Sherlock and high Sherlock agree in a lot of things, but have different levels of impulse control
Summary:

A "doctor" with controversial, bee-related, health claims has been found dead. Sherlock tries science. Watson is not here for this.

(Please see tags.)

10:03 PM 3/31/2010
Since it's technically personal information, I keep a Gmail label now for people who have my address. Then I found myself adding a store where I'd registered for a rewards program to it, and blinked at the mental collision.

10:15 PM 3/31/2010
I've been having One of Those Evenings in #dreamwidth. Observe:
( In which Azz screws on something so tightly she can't get it off, then gets an impromptu shower, then gets a rain of balls. Also, how to scare the Castro, and an earworm chain. )

12:44 AM 4/1/2010
Oh god, it keeps getting worse.
( Read more... )

1:40 AM 4/1/2010
That was bad physics. This is crackfic.
( Read more... )

2:04 AM 4/1/2010
So yeah, what did I do today?
Breakfast.
Random inside tasks.
Went to the office, paid rent, confirmed electronic key was working on the clubhouse door, confirmed physical key was not working on hot tub door, got new physical key for hot tub door.
Checked mail.
Went back to the office to pick up AWESOME Obama '08 shirt from

norabombay (a T-shirt sale is fun for the whole family, thanks!)
Since I had already braved my door and was on the wrong side of it, shopping time.
Stopped at "I love this bakery". Stopped at Walgreens. Stopped at Cost Plus. Stopped at Trader Joe's. Stopped at Papa Murphy's.
Supper.
Dishes.
Had a Bad Physics moment or two.
Commenced with the long-procrastinated Moving of the Refrigerator Shelves.
More Bad Physics.

In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:

Saturday, 0140: Faceblindness can be embarrassing when you have to study a picture for a half-hour to figure out which woman in it is your beloved ex.
Saturday, 0157: Ooo, random illustration of Grant: http://www.cherryh.com/www/images/Grant.jpg
Saturday, 0734: @rickybuchanan What @exor674 said is so: LJ has sticky style=mine for paid users. http://tinyurl.com/83atux
Saturday, 0818: IRC knows why #11 cracks me up. http://tinyurl.com/8f5rwp
Saturday, 0818: More pretty poetry icons: http://tinyurl.com/896tza

( read the other 16 )

Follow me on Twitter.

[Edit: to avoid confusion, this springs from a meme back in 2004, where

sithjawa wrote the best summary I have ever read of a piece of fanfiction that does not exist. So much so that it's been teasing my brain for years. So much so that I was tempted to write "5 Things" fic for it yesterday. This universe is *pure crack*, with a bazillion self-inserts. Not for the faint of heart; if this is not your gig, turn back now.]

The trouble with Azz/Dark fics is that they really need the background of their cases to showcase the complexity of their relationship, a complexity that's only hinted at in the actual episodes. Their light banter overlies a whole lot of mutual baggage.

The trouble with writing fic for a series that does not exist is that sometimes you have to write the series too. So.

2020. It may even be in the Darkside of Tokyo, for all we know. ( Read more... )

The episodes!

1.01 "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?"
( Read more... )

It's a high-technology suspense thriller! The gutted remains of the laptops that one household takes in are found scattered around the apartment complex! OMG MUST SEND VAMPIRE TO INVESTIGATE!

Cellphone working again, yay.

Whee best friend yay. Whee, whiny-cat. Whee, laptops in the middle of living room floor half-assembled. Whee, parking lot cookout at work.

Life is good.

In the comments to this entry http://www.livejournal.com/users/mctabby/329057.html, there is crackfic, finest-kind. Fox/Minerva. Dana/Alastor.

Tonight looks to include a sewing project. Aunt-Fayoumis and I are going to try our mightiest to concoct a skirt. The fabric is gorgeous, and far too reminiscent of Tom Riddle up to no good, though the red version would have been either better or worse, depending on your perspective. If it's a simple enough pattern, I'll get the hang of it and be able to put it together on my own back home with some degree of success. If it's not ... I'll figure it out somehow.

I might not be having as much fun with the transit system as I'd imagined I would. Since the Exploratorium plans didn't work out today (way, way crowded) we're going tomorrow morning early, as Borderlands doesn't open until noon. Guide Dog Aunt says she'll just drop me off there. And the whispering tells me that I'll find coming home on the transit system much easier.

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