Brains

[azurelunatic]

This is twice in 24 hours that I've been told that I'm a genius.

It consistently stuns me that not everybody finds learning, writing, science, ["You're a genius; that's three times", evealone comments from over my shoulder] and so forth as easy as I do.

Trouble is, I don't quite consider myself a true, functioning genius.

It's my belief that in order to be a countable genius, I have to make some or other variety of lasting contribution to the world. Perhaps not a unique one, but nevertheless lasting. I honestly don't know what I've done. I've been an influence in people's lives, yes. I saw that poster plastered all over my middle school, the quote from someone I can't remember, saying that in a hundred years, it will not matter what kind of house I had or what kind of car I drove; but it will matter that I have made a difference in the life of a child. I can't remember how many children I've baby-sat. I've written, but I haven't finished my novel yet, and my few other fictional writings haven't been spread particularly far. I should dig up "Dogfire" and "Anne" sometime and put them somewhere interesting.

I haven't formulated any scientific theories. I've barely even formulated the random breezy suggestion of a hypothesis here and there. I'd like to do something nice with mathematics, or with physics.

I was given these brains, this sharp wittiness, this skill with words despite my early hatred for all things written (I had a horrible time learning to write, learning to do math); what am I going to do with it?

Comments

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Ah, but remember Lord Auditor Vorthys' comments on genius, dear. Once is all that is required...you can be a genius and not have hit that peak yet. You are capable of reaching it. Even Miles hadn't really hit much of his genious in his early 20s. He was brilliant at 17, true, but I don't honestly think he was really genious until his late 20s. He grew into his potential.

[azurelunatic]

It would be comforting to know which of my many directions it lies in. I recall... who was it? Cordelia? Not sure. I've been given all these astounding gifts of the mind and spirit; I am not to waste any. It's frustrating, knowing that the talent is at hand, just not the application...

Re:

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Go, then, in whichever direction you feel led. By your mind, by your interest, by your spirit. And know that whatever job They have for you, They will be sure to equip you for it, as long as you let Them lead you.

[azurelunatic]

Reflecting that if I follow my inclinations, I'll be given a task is comforting.