Brains

[azurelunatic]

This is twice in 24 hours that I've been told that I'm a genius.

It consistently stuns me that not everybody finds learning, writing, science, ["You're a genius; that's three times", evealone comments from over my shoulder] and so forth as easy as I do.

Trouble is, I don't quite consider myself a true, functioning genius.

It's my belief that in order to be a countable genius, I have to make some or other variety of lasting contribution to the world. Perhaps not a unique one, but nevertheless lasting. I honestly don't know what I've done. I've been an influence in people's lives, yes. I saw that poster plastered all over my middle school, the quote from someone I can't remember, saying that in a hundred years, it will not matter what kind of house I had or what kind of car I drove; but it will matter that I have made a difference in the life of a child. I can't remember how many children I've baby-sat. I've written, but I haven't finished my novel yet, and my few other fictional writings haven't been spread particularly far. I should dig up "Dogfire" and "Anne" sometime and put them somewhere interesting.

I haven't formulated any scientific theories. I've barely even formulated the random breezy suggestion of a hypothesis here and there. I'd like to do something nice with mathematics, or with physics.

I was given these brains, this sharp wittiness, this skill with words despite my early hatred for all things written (I had a horrible time learning to write, learning to do math); what am I going to do with it?

Comments

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

I've always found it ironic that we come into the world with incredible amounts of potential...and no users manual.

[azurelunatic]

I'm trying to write my own. Some of my more religiously inclined friends state that yes, there is a user manual: then they wave their particular holy book. I roll my eyes, usually.

I've noticed that some of the wisest advices are only apparent when you come to realize them yourself; I think part of the point of the universe is the path of figuring out what to do, after all, with all that potential.

[evealone.livejournal.com]

hmm i use to have one but all it said was life's a b*tch then you die

[sterlingnorth.livejournal.com]

I feel the same way you do. Everyone calls me some type of genius, even though I doubt that I am. Yeah, I have read a few things, and I like math and science, but all that isn't from some innate ability. I think I just work my ass like a dog.

I doubt that I have the aptitude to do anything lasting like a theory or a book or anything like that, something that is the providence of actual smart people.

But people say that I'm too hard on myself.

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Ah, but remember Lord Auditor Vorthys' comments on genius, dear. Once is all that is required...you can be a genius and not have hit that peak yet. You are capable of reaching it. Even Miles hadn't really hit much of his genious in his early 20s. He was brilliant at 17, true, but I don't honestly think he was really genious until his late 20s. He grew into his potential.

[crimmycat.livejournal.com]

not only no user's manual, the programmer didn't document any of the code, either. And the program seems to be coding itself after a while, making it even further from intelligable.

Re:

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

Have you ever read a book called "Johnathon Livingston Seagull" by Richard Bach? It has its applications for the question if not the answer.

[azurelunatic]

Have not.

But I do know a Sara Candace Segall...

[azurelunatic]

I have enough of the innate ability to get myself in trouble, but not enough of the application of same to get me out.

Re:

[tsjafo.livejournal.com]

I highly recommend the book. Its a lovely story and quite thought provoking.

Please wave to Sara Candace next time you see her. Tell her its from the funny looking kid in the chem suit.

[azurelunatic]

It would be comforting to know which of my many directions it lies in. I recall... who was it? Cordelia? Not sure. I've been given all these astounding gifts of the mind and spirit; I am not to waste any. It's frustrating, knowing that the talent is at hand, just not the application...

Re:

[iroshi.livejournal.com]

Go, then, in whichever direction you feel led. By your mind, by your interest, by your spirit. And know that whatever job They have for you, They will be sure to equip you for it, as long as you let Them lead you.

[azurelunatic]

Reflecting that if I follow my inclinations, I'll be given a task is comforting.