Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
azurelunatic) wrote2006-04-14 03:22 am
azurelunatic) wrote2006-04-14 03:22 am
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Further thought about attention problems
It may well be that I have attention problems, brought about by the idea that I have not too little attention, but too much of it.
I am told that most people try to pay attention to only a few things at once. I attempt to pay attention to everything at once. When there is only a little of everything, I am just fine. When there is too much of everything, I have difficulty narrowing my focus to exclude the unimportant factors.
Rather, I have a difficulty deciding which the unimportant factors are, because it's so relatively rare that I have to narrow down.
On the other hand, when I tune my capacity to focus on one thing and one thing alone, I am like laser in the intensity.
Have long used the "I am like laser; do not date me alone" argument in favor of my polyamory. If I have multiple people to date, I am not half so dangerous when focused.
Is there a word, in any language, that means "that pain that comes as a result of someone mistaking you and your unrequited beloved for an actual couple, and/or treating you as such"? I hurt like that a lot around Shawn, back in the day. It was touchy to try and correct people who were mistaking us for like-really-Together when all I wanted was for us to actually be together. It still occasionally feels like an open wound when people assume that Darkside and I are Really Together.
I am told that most people try to pay attention to only a few things at once. I attempt to pay attention to everything at once. When there is only a little of everything, I am just fine. When there is too much of everything, I have difficulty narrowing my focus to exclude the unimportant factors.
Rather, I have a difficulty deciding which the unimportant factors are, because it's so relatively rare that I have to narrow down.
On the other hand, when I tune my capacity to focus on one thing and one thing alone, I am like laser in the intensity.
Have long used the "I am like laser; do not date me alone" argument in favor of my polyamory. If I have multiple people to date, I am not half so dangerous when focused.
Is there a word, in any language, that means "that pain that comes as a result of someone mistaking you and your unrequited beloved for an actual couple, and/or treating you as such"? I hurt like that a lot around Shawn, back in the day. It was touchy to try and correct people who were mistaking us for like-really-Together when all I wanted was for us to actually be together. It still occasionally feels like an open wound when people assume that Darkside and I are Really Together.
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I'll be so glad when my training's over and I can use the spreadsheets that are built to take care of the various calculations.
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"So are you and X dating or what?" referring to the lady who was staying at my apartment for a few weeks->months after losing previous home.
"Just friends."
"But why? You seem like you'd make a nice couple." Precisely the thought I'd had but X didn't.
I was cranky for days.
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And *hugs* on that.
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No one's recently poked that with a stick, and it's become more bearable now that I've successfully wrapped my mind around some of his reasons for not thinking it's as brilliant an idea as the Casual Onlooker seems to think. (The Casual Onlooker is often a twit.)