양말장에서 신을 발견하거나
Jan. 9th, 2026 09:21 amby kn1538210
알도는 고행에 대해 그리 많이 생각하는 편이 아니었다.
“우리는 하느님을 다양한 방법으로 섬기지.” 그는 토마스에게 언제 한번 그렇게 말했었다. “불편감이 쓸모 있다는 건 동의하네. 죄를 등지고 더 잘하고자 마음먹게 되니. 주님의 이름으로 자신을 난도질하는 게 뭘 위한 짓인지는 이해가 안 되는군. 우리는 고통받기 위해 이 세상에 놓인 게 아니잖나, 토마스.”
토마스는 한참을 말없이 있었다. “엄연히 다른 것이잖나.” 그는 비로소 말했다. “적어도 그 점만큼은 자네도 동의하겠지. 자해는 죄야. 채찍질 고행은 교리에 의거한 것이고.”
알도는 움찔했다. “이러다 다음번엔 오푸스 데이에 들어갔다고 하겠네. 고해로는 충분하지 않다고 생각하는 건가? 기도는?”
“육신의 고행도 그 나름의 역할이 있다고 생각하네.” 그는 시선을 저 멀리 둔 채 멍하니 말했다.
“글쎄, 자네를 해치는 것 말고 어떤 역할을 한다는 거지? 무의미한 고통이 정말 자네를 주님께 한 치라도 더 가까이 다가가게 하나?”
토마스는 별로 흠칫하지도 않았다. 알도는 그의 턱을 잡고 앞으로 끌어당기고 싶은 충동에 휩싸였다. 날 봐, 날 보라고!
“우리는 참회해야만 하네, 알도.” 그는 그렇게 말할 뿐이었다. “수단과 방법을 가리지 않고 말이야.”
그는 늘 토마스가 그들 두 사람 몫의 참회까지 충분히 한다고 생각해 왔었다. 이제는 토마스를 더 잘 이해하게 된 것 같다.
Words: 17729, Chapters: 1/1, Language: 한국어
- Fandoms: Conclave (2024)
- Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
- Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
- Categories: M/M
- Characters: Aldo Bellini (Conclave), Vincent Benítez (Conclave), Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Giulio Sabbadin (Conclave)
- Relationships: Aldo Bellini/Vincent Benítez/Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Aldo Bellini/Vincent Benítez (Conclave), Aldo Bellini/Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Aldo Bellini & Giulio Sabbadin (Conclave)
- Additional Tags: Crisis of Faith, Self-Harm, Self-Flagellation, Internalized Homophobia, Falling In Love, Everyone Loves Aldo Bellini Simulator, almost certainly unrealistic depictions of the inner workings of the catholic church, AND of catholic rites, disclaimer they definitely do not pick the dean like that, Catholic-typical mentions of islamophobia and sexual abuse, aldo & giulio bestfriendisms. real to me, 한국어 번역 | Translation in Korean
Memories
Jan. 9th, 2026 06:01 amVincent and Thomas take a stroll together during the Conclave...but something is off...
Words: 1979, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
- Fandoms: Conclave (2024), Conclave - Robert Harris
- Rating: General Audiences
- Warnings: Major Character Death
- Categories: M/M
- Characters: Vincent Benítez (Conclave), Thomas Lawrence (Conclave), Aldo Bellini (Conclave), Goffredo Tedesco (Conclave)
- Relationships: Vincent Benítez/Thomas Lawrence (Conclave)
- Additional Tags: Mentioned Goffredo Tedesco (Conclave), Bittersweet, Sad Ending, lawrenitez, How Do I Tag, lawrenitez fanfic, Vincent Benitez is fine guys!!!, art at the end, conclave fanfic, first fanfic
New Worlds: Memento Mori
Jan. 9th, 2026 09:01 amThere's a grim reason for this, which is that death was far more of a looming threat for historical people than it is for us. Obviously it's true now, as it was then, that everybody eventually dies; the difference is that the average person today can expect to enjoy decades of life first. But life expectancies in the past were much lower -- which is not the same thing as saying that most adults died by the age of thirty! The reason average life expectancy was so much lower is that the odds of surviving your first few years were horrifyingly low. Childhood diseases like the measles tended to kill almost half of all children born before they reached the age of ten.
Which means that nearly every family in existence, rich as well as poor, suffered the repeated grief of seeing life cut short before it really had a chance to start. Then, for those who made it to adulthood, men often had a meaningful chance of dying in war, and women faced the recurrent risk of dying in childbirth. On top of all that, there's the experience of death: people were more likely to die at home, rather than off in some hospital, and ordinary people had the task of caring for them in their final hours and preparing their bodies for funerary rites afterwards. They saw and touched and smelled the effects of death, in a way that most of us today do not.
One of the ways to cope with this is to look death squarely in the eye, rather than flinching away. The Latin phrase memento mori, an exhortation to remember that you must inevitably die, has come to signify all kinds of cultural traditions intended to remind people of the end. Our modern Halloween skeletons and ghosts used to have that function, even if few of us think of them that way anymore; let's take a look at some other approaches.
A few memento mori traditions are things you do rather than objects in your life. Buddhism, for example, has traditions of "foulness meditation," in which a person is encouraged to contemplate topics like disease and decay -- sometimes in cemeteries or the presence of corpses. After all, Buddhism tells us the nature of the world is impermanence, and what illustrates that more vividly than death? Islamic scriptures likewise exhort believers to think about death, and some Sufis make a habit of visiting graveyards for that purpose. I'm also reminded of a fictional practice, which I think might be based on something in the real world, though I can't place it: in Geraldine Harris' Seven Citadels quartet of novels, the Queen of Seld holds banquets in what will eventually be her tomb.
Speaking of banqueting, the Romans had a rich tradition of memento mori (as you might expect, given that we got the phrase from their language). In the early imperial period, it was fashionable to dine in rooms frescoed with images of skeletons and drink from cups decorated with skulls. The message, though, was far from Buddhism's reminder not to become attached to impermanent things: instead it was, as the poet Horace wrote in that same era, carpe diem. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may die. These macabre decorations were meant to heighten the transient pleasures of life.
Other classical thinkers took it in a more Buddhist-style direction, though. Stoic philosophy is full of injunctions to curb the pleasures of life because you and all the people around you are mortal, and there are accounts which claim a Roman general celebrating a triumph was accompanied by someone reminding him that eventually he would die. We find the same sentiment echoed in the Icelandic Hávamál, with its "Cattle die, / kinsmen die, / all men are mortal" -- though that one goes on to praise the immortality of a good reputation.
Christian tradition leaned heavily into this for centuries, because of the theological emphasis on the dangers of sin and of dying unshriven. To have any hope of heaven, a Christian was supposed to live with one eye on the ever-present possibility of death, rather than assuming it must be far off and you'd see it coming, with time to prepare. Memento mori took every shape from tomb decorations (don't forget that many wealthy people were buried inside churches) to clocks (time is inexorably ticking away) to paintings (the genre known as vanitas emphasizes the vanity, i.e. worthlessness, of impermanent things) to jewelry. The devastation of the Black Death undoubtedly bolstered this tradition, as seen in the Danse Macabre artistic motif, where the Grim Reaper summons away people from all walks of life, kings and bishops alongside peasants.
I promised you baked goods, though, didn't I? Malta celebrates the Month of the Dead in November and commemorates the season with ghadam tal-mejtin, "dead men's bones," a type of cookie filled with sweet, spiced almond dough. And in Sweden, there was a nineteenth-century tradition of funerary confectionery, wrapped in paper printed with memento mori images -- though the candies were often meant to be saved instead of eaten, and some manufacturers bulked them out with substances like chalk to cut costs. You could break a tooth trying to bite into one.
We might even count death omens as a type of memento mori. Most of the ones I know about are European, and take forms ranging from spectral voices in the night to black dogs to a double of the person who's about to die -- with a certain amount of ambiguity around whether encountering such a thing causes you to die (perhaps with some way to avert it), or whether it's merely a signal that death is at hand. To these we might add plague omens, which I know of from both Slavic lands and Japan: people or creatures who appear to warn a town that an epidemic is about to sweep through. The Japanese ones usually promise that anyone who hangs up an image of the creature will be protected from disease, which is certainly helpful of them! (And yes, there was a resurgence in that tradition when the Covid-19 pandemic began.)
These days we are more likely to enjoy death imagery as an aesthetic rather than a philosophical practice. Our life expectancy is vastly higher -- in part because we're far more likely to survive childhood -- and thanks to modern medicine, even an ultimately fatal injury or illness stands a higher chance of giving us time to prepare for the end. But notwithstanding the fever dreams of some technophiles, we have yet to defeat death; immortality remains out of reach. Until that changes, mortality will remain an inescapable fact for every human born.

(originally posted at Swan Tower: https://is.gd/JVBlEI)
An interesting article
Jan. 9th, 2026 09:52 amSome excerpts:
The peripheral web can be described as the outskirts of the core web, with platforms such as Mastodon, SpaceHey, Neocities, Discord and IRC chatrooms, Matrix rooms, various imageboards, and others, including various functional clones of core web applications. It is the digital countryside of the corporate megalopolis. Advertising, sales, and data collection are substantially reduced if not entirely eliminated, providing better conditions for people to socialize in and a healthier experience overall. It is composed of web platforms that are hosted on separate infrastructure from the core web by individuals or organizations with various sources of funding. The peripheral web is discovered largely through word-of-mouth and personal research. In other words, bridging the peripheral web to the core web takes a significant amount of effort: the vast majority of internet users remain unaware of its existence.
The rapid increase in popularity of platforms like Neocities and Spacehey were a strong indicator that nostalgia was a significant force driving migration to the peripheral web in recent years. The community was first created when pandemic restrictions were just starting to loosen up. Nostalgia was often the first thing that stood out and appealed to new members: there is comfort in nostalgia, especially during particularly rough times.
However, Nostalgia would often lead to a regressive attitude within the space that made it difficult to achieve any sort of change. Users focused highly on nostalgia would value aesthetics as their primary focus which would lead to a distrust of new tools that did not meet their nostalgic criteria.
The organization began as a handful of individuals working to discover and address the needs of the community. As the community grew larger, it transformed into a loose organization composed of staff members. Finally, a well-defined organization formed at the core of the staff that created a distinction between organizers.
In its loosely organized phase, attempts were made to draw the whole community into organizing efforts. Results were poor because of low participation, and because the participants were mostly composed of the newest members who had the least knowledge about the community. We could not ensure an accurate representation from this setup, so we moved the decision-making as a responsibility for staff members. This would not work out either as moderators had varying levels of commitment and we could not reasonably expect them to take a greater responsibility.
Fic! Art! Thoughts about being in a juggernaut fandom
Jan. 9th, 2026 09:36 pmAlso a larger artwork combining a photoshoot pic, Ember and Ice and Heated Rivalry. I had a better ref for Shane, and am especially happy with how he came out. It's rated mature, NSFW. Diplomatic Relations.
It's an interesting fandom to be posting works in. In my older, quieter fandoms there's much more community engagement and more comments, with everyone aware the fandom's relatively small, these days, so more loyalty. In HR there's this frenzy of creation (nearly 7000 works so far), and fans hungrily soak up what's created with almost instant hits in the thousands, masses of kudos and bookmarks, and very few comments. Both types of fandom have their pros and cons. I'm just happy to be energised into writing more, and that energy rubs off (heh) onto my other main fandoms as well. What a time to be alive! (I realize seriously shitty things continue to happen elsewhere, but honestly, HR saved 2005 for me and many others, so I'm going to enjoy it.)
The 2025 Round Of WIP Big Bang & WIP Reverse Bang Is Officially Closed!
Jan. 9th, 2026 12:20 amWIP Mini Bang rules will go up later today.
for obvious reasons
Jan. 8th, 2026 08:59 pm"Farewell to the gangsters
We don't need them anymore
We've got the police force
They're the ones who break the law
He's got a gun and he's a hater
He shoots first, he shoots later
I am the masculine American man
I kill therefore I am"
Amusing myself.
Jan. 8th, 2026 10:56 pmAlso, since tagging on Tumblr is the new version of fandom icons, I decided on a Pluribus tag: we'll eat you up we love you so.
Daily Happiness
Jan. 8th, 2026 08:35 pm2. The Christmas tree is all down and boxed up, all decorations are boxed up, just a few more lego sets to take apart and then everything will be done. Sad to put everything away, but I am glad we can decorate again now that we have a cat-free space.
3. It is very chilly and windy today. I like having wintery weather that doesn't involve rain.
4. Chloe enjoyed the sunny window this morning. Cats are glad the rain's done, too!

3260. Snowflake #3: letter to fandom
Jan. 8th, 2026 11:31 pmAs cheesy as it sounds, fandom is why I'm still here. Fandom is how I found my wife. Fandom is how I've survived some of the worst times in my life, from losing family to a drunk driver to trying to rebuild after getting walloped by Helene. So thank you, fandom. Thank you for being weird and wild and wonderful and openly queer even everything else is on screaming hellfire. Things are still wildly dystopian, but I'm doing what little I can to bring joy in spite of everything.
current reading
Jan. 8th, 2026 08:21 pmSince I'm all done with being a pseudo-reviewer, this post occurs before I finish reading Mendenhall's book, deliberately. Instead, here's Kirkus, and an excerpt.
but it's all coming back in a way
Jan. 8th, 2026 10:58 pmThe Pitt: 7 am - 8 am
( spoilers, mostly just incoherent squeeing )
My show is back! I AM EXCITE!!!
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