FOGclub chat

AzureLunatic (1:41:47 AM): Update?
AzureLunatic (1:41:53 AM): Comic update soon?
SaiyamanDX (1:41:58 AM): I kept quoting that one line from
Hitchhikers about the management being up against the
wall when the revolution comies( Read more... )

Breathe

I'm awake, at godsawful:35 in the morning because my nose and I have decided that we don't like each other.

Well, my sinuses did that thing that they're not supposed to do, where they make it impossible to breathe at all through one nostril, with immense pressure, and I can't lie down, and I can't lie on either side, and I panic, and Adam wants to know if I've got an inhaler.

I don't, of course; I've never had one.

So, after rubbing menthol goop on bits of my face, I'm awake and on the computer.

hanging on the telephone

teenagewitch is very good at knowing when to call people. She had me call Darkside at the exact correct moment. He and I wound up talking for an hour. ( Cut edited in 2002.12.04 for sanity reasons )

Somehow, I think it's going to take something other than sisterly teasing to cause change in the dynamics between myself and Darkside. We may have reached a stable point in our fucked-up friendship.

What am I saying?

The signs a year ago told me that this had the potential to become another Shawn thing.

...Look at it this way. We're friends, and he's not abusing my love of him. He doesn't exploit my adoration; he doesn't even accept adoration. Darkside has to know I care about him, and perhaps even how much I care about him. I do him the courtesy of not telling him, now that I've told him the once (twice, three times... he knows already, trust me), and he ... does a far better job of keeping himself to himself.

...I don't know how we could have talked for an hour. It was just random weird crap, silly things, giggling. There were a few moments when I think I almost crossed "the line" -- too flirtatious... I used That Voice, the one that pyrogenic complimented me on years and years ago. He said I could do phone sex to get me through college with that voice.

I feel empty, waiting, like there's something left undone somewhere in my head.

Yeeps.

I just realized that Dennis K., the artist of the Fanboy Otaku Gamer's Club looks a lot like Peter, a guy I had a crush on back when I was fifteen or so.

Woops.

...Talk about past haunting you. No wonder I was attracted to him for no particular reason.

Looks like trouble...

They showed up in Adam's dreams last night. Mine are still well-guarded, though I did invite Darkside, and Darkside only, to enter. (He declined. He knows enough about how my mind works to risk seeing it from the inside.)

I'll see what I can do, and go and see what else will help. Wonder if he's got the same marks?

Sucks.

Votania got a vacuum cleaner last night.

It shall begin!

Nice to know.

Adam's dreams are his own trouble. He'll probably wind up having a few more interesting dreams, but nothing serious. Scratches faded; he considers himself warned.