Holidays

I worked on the Solstice, as I was half expecting (there was stuff that needed doing), and then went on semi-Epic Shopping with Tif, which was fun although exhausting as usual. I crocheted on a project that I was trying to finish in time.

I proceeded to sleep through most of Saturday and Sunday, having done something to my left hip that it did not appreciate at all.

Guide Dog Aunt proposed dinner & games on Monday, with my Infamous Cousin; that was fun. My cousin updates us: "We wasted $20 of silicone putty because it dried too quickly." Alas. Deacon is getting older and creakier; he no longer so much lies down as positions himself over the target spot and collapses, as his rear end has mostly gone out. Sometimes the poodle is in the target spot. My aunt has a goldfish and a guinea pig too now. My aunt has the printout version of Cards Against Humanity, and the holiday pack now too. I crocheted; I did not finish in time, alas. The Wheel of the Year turns...

Tuesday was quiet, and I continued attempting to sleep off the ow. Played phone tag with my parents a bit. At length I limped off to see the Hobbit.

Wednesday (today by my reckoning, as I haven't slept yet) I was back to work, though my sleep was crappy and interrupted. I put a hot rice bag on my fucking hip, which straightened it right out. About fucking time, and I should have done that on Saturday at the first peep of trouble. Then I went off to emceeaich and cynthia1960's open house by way of Trader Joe's. That was enjoyable. There were games. I crocheted. We watched the Dr. Who Christmas special, with many comments from the peanut gallery.

( My spoilishly favorite. )

After that, I headed to work, whereupon I found out that there is a Problem involving the system I'm supposed to access, and my access to it. I have one last idea which may solve everything, but for now I've filed tickets with both of the places that could have input into fixing things, depending on exactly what is b0rked on the back end. Woo.

Thursday and Friday, I shall be tucking in loose ends at work to prepare for the first two weeks of January, when I'm Out Of Office, Really.

Some notes to the cisgendered

I have observed some oopses in more than one place relatively recently.

Rather than yell about individual lapses, which would probably be counterproductive and generally more woe than I signed up for, some ettiquette tips when dealing with communities where gender is complicated! Particular attention to gender-neutral stuff in this edition. These may not be the most universal, but in a community with a lot of genderqueer or gender-neutral folks, it helps to not default to binary gender.


Pronouns are complicated but important. You may be used to looking at a person and being able to tell what the right ones are, but that does not always work in this community. If you suspect you will not remember it if told once, consider making a note in your address book, or preparing to apologize for your poor memory for pronouns.

If you don't know someone's correct pronouns, gender-neutral is generally more polite than guessing. Either way, people will be upset, but in a less whole-day-ruining kind of way.

If someone who goes by gender-neutral pronouns in general shares what parts/the gender assigned to them at birth, continue using their gender-neutral pronouns, in both public and private, thereafter. If the person you're talking to in private doesn't know or shouldn't know, that would be bad. At best it's dreadfully tacky.

Keeping track of who has what information about whose gender identity (say, the trans* guy who is out to his friends, goes gender-neutral online, and totally in the closet to the transphobic parents he's financially dependent on) is a terrifying social juggling act. It gets slightly easier with practice, but still nerve-wracking.

Using the correct pronouns in your own thoughts (if you can manage it) helps prevent embarrassing slip-ups.

Getting other people's genders wrong in a binary-biased or birth gender assignment essentialist fashion to someone whose gender is complicated is a sign to them that you cannot be trusted to get these things right, even if your intentions are good.

22 tweets for 2012-12-27

In the last 24 hours, I posted the following to Twitter:

• Thursday, 0001: My fitbit #fitstats for 12/26/2012: 2,639 steps and 1.1 miles traveled. http://www.fitbit.com/user/23LLYD
• Thursday, 0043: *uses shiny new heating plaid like an electric ass-blanket*
• Thursday, 0122: It's still Yuletide, so I'm reading fic and polishing my nails.
• Thursday, 0123: I fear reading about women in any genre where women are Women. I'd rather read about women who are people.
• Thursday, 0124: @zarhooie We've both been nexen for yeeears.
( read the other 17 )

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