New site!

Friend of friend (you know how it goes) pointed me to new website. http://www.azarcane.com for anyone who's interested. Arizona pagan stuff. Not much up there yet, but it's coming. It'll get more active when there are more people there, so ... like ... go there! and stuff.

OK, shameless pimpage, but dude who's doing it is cool.

(don't go back to) Rockville

Looking at your watch a third time waiting in the station for a bus
Going to a place that's far, so far away and if that's not enough
Going where nobody says hello, they don't talk to anybody they don't know
You'll wind up in some factory that's full time filth and nowhere left to go
Walk home to an empty house, sit around all by yourself
I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

Don't go back to Rockville
And waste another year

At night I drink myself to sleep and pretend
I don't care if you're not here with me
'Cause it's so much easier to handle
All my problems if I'm too far out to sea
But something better happen soon
Or it's gonna be too late to bring you back

It's not as though I really need you
If you were here I'd only bleed you
But everybody else in town only wants to bring you down and
That's not how it ought to be
I know it might sound strange, but I believe
You'll be coming back before too long

--R.E.M.

"Be Mine"

("a speed zone up here too")

I never thought of this as funny
It speaks another world to me
I want to be your Easter bunny
I want to be your Christmas tree.

I'll strip the world that you must live in
of all its godforsaken greed.
I'll ply the tar out of your feathers.
I'll pluck the thorns out of your feet.
you and me.
you and me.

and if I choose your sanctuary
I want to wash you with my hair.
I want to drink of sacred fountains
and find the riches hidden there.

I'll eat the lotus and peyote.
I want to hear the caged bird sing.
I want the secrets of the Temple.
I want the finger with the ring.
you and me.
you and me.
you will see.

that if you make me your religion
I'll give you all the room you need.
I'll be the drawing of your breath.
I'll be the cup if you should bleed.

I'll be the sky above the Ganges
I'll be the vast and stormy sea.
I'll be the lights that guide you inward.
I'll be the visions you will see.

the visions you will see.

you will see.
you will see.
you and me.
you and me.
you and me.

-- R.E.M.

don't quite know why....

Feeling sad tonight. very lonely indeed. not many of my friends are on. Up too late. Not feeling as connected to my best friend as usual.

Not motivated for anything right now.

I think I thought about my claustrophobia one too many times today. I used to be a lot more psychologically messed up than I am now. Tonight I need a hug -- and not from you, David, though normally that would be great -- and to be told to get my ass to bed because I have to be up in the morning, though gods know it's already morning.

Today (later, as in Saturday night) there are plans for a pizza and beer and movie night with Alan et cetera.

Wish my friend was going to be there... wonder if he could make it. He'd be rather left out with the beer, though. Alan's bringing Dew, so it wouldn't be so bad.

Wish I had a best friend who could take the other couch tonight. We'd just lie there mostly asleep and randomly babbling at each other until one or the other of us totally passed out from sheer exhaustion.

Been dancing in my dreams some lately. Ballroom. Like from the dance unit in Drama class where that idiot Shawn damn near steered me off the stage.

I was actually halfway decent at that, and have still managed to retain a few of the skills, say for the simpler dances. One of my favorite songs to dance to is "Kiss From A Rose."

Care to waltz?

not doing anime club today

Family day at home instead. I wish I could do both things, but I'm really having more fun here. Stayed up way late last night and got depressed. Started cleaning like hell this morning, and did some of that last night too.

Not quite sure what to do now.

Paaaaarty!!

I'm having a lot of fun.

Dixie Blackened Voodoo. Beer. Yummy. Yummy. Pizza. Lots of witches hanging in one apartment, playing with Napster. Slightly intoxicated witches, at that, so we're not messing with magick at all.

there is beer

Yeah. so we are listening to the Laziest Men on Mars and having fuuuuun....

python

just watched yellowbeard. funny funny funny.

attempting not to hit on certain people is not a good idea.

Or somehting like that.

Remember, dear, your nearest equivalenat of a boyfriend would be David, not Best Friend and not Alan.

mellow.

stilll beer buzzed. fading and am not so completely idiotic.

refrained from making a complete as s of myself i hope. Now am in much need of sleep. Will grab blanket, set alarm clock, and crash out on the couch as usual. Yummy sleep. Yummy work. Yummy happy friends and movies and s tuff.