oh and to add to the general joy...

not only do I have work tomorrow, but ... guessssss what week it is!

Dave?

I see.

Looks like I've been friended by another of those interesting LJ friend list whores.

We'll see what develops with this one. I don't think I'll be friending this one back. Read the journal; the journal squicked me. New user, just got in today. Ten hours, 333 friends. Riiight. I suppose 333 interesting journals to follow.

Hopefully interesting.

I can say this: some people are easily amused. Glad some people think it's funny. Prefer my comedies a slightly different shade of dark, thank you much.

(no subject)

hmm. What color is my username? Thanks, kelrick!

azurelunatic

http://www.armory.com/tests/sex1500.html

Here is the result of your 1500 Point Purity Test.
You answered "yes" to 620 of 1500 questions, making you 58.7% sexually pure (41.3% sexually corrupt); that is, you are 58.7% pure in the sex domain.
Your Weirdness Factor (AKA Uniqueness Factor) is 33%, based on a comparison of your test results with 22855 other submissions for this test.
The average purity for this test is 76.2%.


Not bad, eh?
Or, pretty bad, depending on your viewpoint here.

an analysis of what went wrong with me and BJ

(from a discussion in the journal of avatar_x about nice guys, bad boys, nice girls, and bitches, somewhat expanded from the original)

In my case, the issue was BJ, my ex-fiance, being a very nice guy for the circumstances he was raised with. Polite, churchgoing, very faithful and reverent... if he'd just stuck with the sort of girl he was supposed to date, they would have been just fine together. Never mind that he was a secret Satanist. She would have reformed him and that would have fulfilled her need for "bad boy".

I think something in his brain snapped when he wound up cross-dressed without really knowing how this had come about. My little sister and I did it to him, had him take off his shirt and put this on, now take it off and stand still for the padded bra; ok, now take off the pants; hold still for the makeup... it warped his mind. Ordinary guys aren't supposed to have to withstand all that he took. Ordinary guys just can't take it, can't take the idea that somewhere in the world, people do different things, that this is not inherently wrong, just different, and interesting. It doesn't necessarily matter if their parents find that these things are wrong, but it does matter if the other person values his mommy's good opinion over your good opinion. If he's that attached to Mommy, he should stay with her. End of story.

I think that perhaps, knowing that even just being friends with him, and he still drove me nuts to the point of wanting to bash him over the head with a very large object, in that case perhaps I should not have dated him. That was my mistake. Certainly I should never have gotten engaged to someone I wished to kill 25% of the time. Thinking that a relationship will change anyone, especially for the better, is risking a whole hell of a lot.

My new rule is this: I shall never get seriously involved with someone who I would not break some of my personal commandments for.

Addendum to new rule: I shall never get seriously involved with anyone who would ever forseeably require me to break any of my personal commandments for them, or put me in a situation where I would have to break said commandments.

Why? Viceriene Countess Captain Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan, one of my all-time heroes, threw her lot in with people over principles. People have immortal souls, you see, so you should go with the greater part. Choose for eternity, not just for today.

There's one such person in my life these days. I'd go monogamous for him. If he ever wanted me to. If he wanted me. This is why other relationships these days are on the level of friends or fuckbuddies or what have you. I love, yes, but I'll form no other bond of the 'one true love' variety; any other person I fall unendingly in love with will have to get along with him excellently well. I'm not particularly interested in following up clear potential relationships that have been offered to me. There's this guy in Scottsdale who's single and looking, the friend of a friend of a friend. Evan. I have absolutely no interest other than friendship. Why?

...I'm gone.

BJ and I, that was fate. Something meant to be only temporarily. Get me to Arizona, since I flubbed my first chance of getting there, getting to DeVry. Should have realized that the relationship was over, far before we actually separated.

Dead fish stink.

My parents are coming to visit.

My parents will arrive in California on March 27th or 28th, seven weeks, plus or minus a day, from today.

Time to get cleaning.

A token gesture of paranoia

Honestly, I don't often care what people see of what I write. I wish to keep my novel private, since that's still a work in progress, and much of it has writing from when I was fourteen and my writing genuinely sucked, though I was excellent for my age. I wonder if, at forty, I'll be just as embarrassed by my twenty-one-year-old livejournal?

Furthermore, the following essay is the classic example of "slippery slope". But it's thanks to slippery slope alarmists that people don't stand for the slope they fear they're sliding down.

I don't consider Bush to be duly elected. I have no particular personal liking for the man, nor do I trust his political outlook. But until he steps on my toes, or the toes of those I love, I will not take legal and constitutionally supported action to get him tossed out on his ass and a re-vote taken.

Come to think of it, though, a re-vote ought to happen, just for the sake of fucking justice.

But I digress.

Here, the article...

Published on Saturday, September 22, 2001
Bush's Orwellian Address
Happy New Year: It's 1984
by Jacob Levich

Seventeen years later than expected, 1984 has arrived. In his address to Congress Thursday, George Bush effectively declared permanent war -- war without temporal or geographic limits; war without clear goals; war against a vaguely defined and constantly shifting enemy. Today it's Al-Qaida; tomorrow it may be Afghanistan; next year, it could be Iraq or Cuba or Chechnya.
No one who was forced to read 1984 in high school could fail to hear a faint bell tinkling. In George Orwell's dreary classic, the totalitarian state of Oceania is perpetually at war with either Eurasia or Eastasia. Although the enemy changes periodically, the war is permanent; its true purpose is to control dissent and sustain dictatorship by nurturing popular fear and hatred.

The permanent war undergirds every aspect of Big Brother's authoritarian program, excusing censorship, propaganda, secret police, and privation. In other words, it's terribly convenient.

And conveniently terrible. Bush's alarming speech pointed to a shadowy enemy that lurks in more 60 countries, including the US. He announced a policy of using maximum force against any individuals or nations he designates as our enemies, without color of international law, due process, or democratic debate.

He explicitly warned that much of the war will be conducted in secret. He rejected negotiation as a tool of diplomacy. He announced starkly that any country that doesn't knuckle under to US demands will be regarded as an enemy. He heralded the creation of a powerful new cabinet-level police agency called the "Office of Homeland Security." Orwell couldn't have named it better.

By turns folksy ("Ya know what?") and chillingly bellicose ("Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists"), Bush stepped comfortably into the role of Big Brother, who needs to be loved as well as feared. Meanwhile, his administration acted swiftly to realize the governing principles of Oceania:

WAR IS PEACE. A reckless war that will likely bring about a deadly cycle of retaliation is being sold to us as the means to guarantee our safety. Meanwhile, we've been instructed to accept the permanent war as a fact of daily life. As the inevitable slaughter of innocents unfolds overseas, we are to "live our lives and hug our children."

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. "Freedom itself is under attack," Bush said, and he's right. Americans are about to lose many of their most cherished liberties in a frenzy of paranoid legislation. The government proposes to tap our phones, read our email and seize our credit card records without court order. It seeks authority to detain and deport immigrants without cause or trial. It proposes to use foreign agents to spy on American citizens. To save freedom, the warmongers intend to destroy it.

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. America's "new war" against terrorism will be fought with unprecedented secrecy, including heavy press restrictions not seen for years, the Pentagon has advised. Meanwhile, the sorry history of American imperialism -- collaboration with terrorists, bloody proxy wars against civilians, forcible replacement of democratic governments with corrupt dictatorships -- is strictly off-limits to mainstream media. Lest it weaken our resolve, we are not to be allowed to understand the reasons underlying the horrifying crimes of September 11.

The defining speech of Bush's presidency points toward an Orwellian future of endless war, expedient lies, and ubiquitous social control. But unlike 1984's doomed protagonist, we've still got plenty of space to maneuver and plenty of ways to resist.

It's time to speak and to act. It falls on us now to take to the streets, bearing a clear message for the warmongers: We don't love Big Brother.

Jacob Levich (jlevich@earthlink.net)

for Votania...

Destruction130

Up too damn late

Adam's out until all hours these days. Somehow it's getting harder and harder to go to bed when he's not there.

Oh my gods.

There is something on the Purity Test, sexually, that I have done, that Votania has not.

Go me!!

(no subject)

...So now she turns bright red and turns the monitor where I can't see it.

She's still going to score a billion% higher than I did, though.