"How can you stand me? I can't even stand me!" --MNvK

Am I come to the end of myself yet? Have I no more left to give?

Landmark, today: discovered a pressure point, a nerve pinch, on Darkside, that works. He tried sending me away so he could shake out the pain. I wouldn't send, so easily.

My fingers work the wicked magery of pain to him now; I am not to touch lest I duplicate the sudden spike of agony.


Actually, I'm more of a masochist...

in the equal exchange that our friendship should be, somehow we've both lost our balance...

I never thought of this as funny....

it feels as odd as the hand finally stretching the lining and popping through, sharp and a pain/relief all unto itself.

What? has happened. Where/whenwhy??

I've come undone, Darkside, too late at night to think otherwise of me. You and your Peter Pan world, beloved, the neverneverland where I can't quite touch. Stepping carefully with anime, with RPG books, with pain... I crossed that line today. Hurt you. Sorry, beloved, so sorry. Can't undo it, and it was self-defense.

If you ever tried to hurt me, if I ever tried to hurt you, there'd be blood, pain, authorities called.

Getting dark, just like with Shawn. Dare I suggest that Adam and I are slipping dangerously towards BJ and I? Perhaps he should cut his hair, symbolic act of getting back away from the danger zone. It's this time of year when I become dangerous, snake in the lair. I remember I slept for a week last April.

Ow.

Things like that always make me sting more than a little, somewhere inside, where there's miscommunication and people trying to be polite and mixed feelings and anger lashing out. I can usually feel when a letter's written in anger. Feels like bad things to me. Heartbreak. I hate it when it happens around me; I'm devastated when it happens to me, when I was only trying to love....

I lived through Shawn. I survived. I survived.

And, w00tness, I did manage to schedule my classes on DSOS without any errors... a full compile!! w00t!!!!

Notes from Inanna

7:53 pm: Got new Visor. Go me.
7:59 pm: Headache. Feel like shit.

Uploaded: old offline entries from my Neo

7:53 pm: Got new Visor. Go me.
7:59 pm: Headache. Feel like shit.