"All we are is dust in the wind..."

Or in the eyes.

Adam is dismantling systems, and decided to blow off the motherboard. Bad, bad move. Sent all of us coughing, and got dust in marxdarx's eye, the same one he's been having turn bright red for no apparent reason.

Ah, this is the life: computer geeks, in my house!

Pathologically Honest

Ah, these LJ memes -- not quite, but the process of having someone else's idea spark an entry of your own. Thanks, gremliness.

I learned to lie when I was 5. I remember the first lie I ever consciously told: the first grade teacher, that I did not have to go potty. I wet my pants because I was scared that the toilets might explode, you see, because I'd read Encyclopedia Brown and the Exploding Plumbing, but not carefully enough. So she asked me, did I have to go to the bathroom, and I said no. I was lying.

It hurts to tell a lie, these days. I tell my honest opinions. I am able to hold back opinions, sometimes, leave things unsaid... but for the most part I tell the truth.

There are some days where I cannot tell a lie. These are usually a slightly altered state of consciousness, often not with enough sleep. I cannot tell a lie, like that -- even not speaking hurts me, physically and psychologically hurts me. I can say, "I am not comfortable to answer that," but even that hurts.

I had one of those mornings a few months ago, sometime after Adam moved in. January? February? Not this month. Sometime back then. I could not tell a lie; I had to answer everything. So I babbled. Fast-foolish, as Miles. Adam did not take advantage of it as much as he might have; Darkside did not take advantage of me at all.

I was rather looking forward to being questioned by Darkside in a context where I had to answer. I'd often be willing to answer almost anything to him, but this -- I would have liked to have told him everything. Everything he'd wanted to know.

Odd, this desire to strip emotionally naked in public.

New Computer

Adam's got the workstation in my room up and running. Whee! There are now six computers on the network, with three adults officially living in the house, two most frequent visitors, and one kid. This almost makes enough computers for everybody to play with.

Why the sudden obsession with computers? Honestly, why not?

Was fun, earlier today, setting Dave and Dave chatting with each other about Java. At least, I think that's what wound up happening. I ended up giving Neighbor a backrub while listening to him tell me the general state of his love life, and votania ended up using my IM program.

...I collect far too many Daves, that's what.

Ohhh yes. Life is good.

I just set up Trillian for the first time. Go me! Very user-friendly, genuinely friendly in the cool detached way that I favor, not licking you in the face and telling you that this is a really good, flattering color on you, and did I mention I love that hairstyle? It's just so... you.

Hopefully computer here in room will keep me happily occupied away from the fuss and muss that are the workstations out in the living room. Some degree of solitude while writing has always been something I enjoy. Popping out to wonder how I should do this next bit of the book has also been my historical way of doing things...

more painful than a Lego one-block

...would be the pointy metal thing that goes on the back of the computer and gets taken off when you put a new card inside it. When left on the floor with the sharp side sticking up, that is.

...I'm cleaning my room, you see. In honor of... ...well, not entirely sure who, or Who, it's in honor of, but I suspect Eris, because this is turning everything upside down from the normal state of things....

...odd, when you live in a room so stratus-organized that putting everything away where it's supposed to go will serve as homage to Eris...

(and I feel fine)

No book burning or bloodletting yet. Finding floor space. Putting yarn for afghans, and the afghans themselves, into the big blue plastic packing box that has served me so well since I first got it, and its ilk, back in 2000 or 1999. So long ago, it seems now.

I can feel the air from the window colder and clearer, now that the afghan is not on the floor to absorb it and let it warm before slowly diffusing it through the room. Feng shui? The mondo monster candy canes I keep around for their decongestant/throat soothing purposes are scattering chips of peppermint sweetness all over the computer desk, my own new computer desk, forcing me to realize that I will need to clean, and soon, before my parents arrive.

Like Ekaterin, I wish to be seen as a successful adult, doing well on my own. I wish to not, so very painfully, need the parental loans and outright handouts, but I do, I do, I do. At the very least, I want to be seen as keeping a successful house. The living room floor attracts dirt, grime, shreds of things best left unmentioned. The light in the fan is burning out; I should go to the office to get replacement instructions, buy a new bulb for the panel of lights above the mirror in my bathroom.

Why does it take so much to keep one household ticking over right? If I cleared the spell components out from that niche in the sideboard, I think I could fit the afghan components in there. That should work nicely, as some of the spell components in there now are afghan components. Some students make a pentacle (or a hexacle, but call it a pentacle, depending on the tradition) to symbolize their growing familiarity with Earth. Me, I make an afghan. Ritual crocheting 101?

Long ramble. Wrote to my mother a few hours ago, updating her on the state of the Temple. I love being able to put down Rev. when it asks Mr/Ms/Miss/Mrs/Dr/... in online forms. Dear Reverend Lunatic...

Computers (why this one in my room is a Good Thing)

I haven't been very happy with computers lately. Why?

First, Adam put a new video card in the server, the one everybody likes to use, the one that's comfortable to sit at, making it very difficult to read text on screen. It works excellently well with games, though...

Second, DeVry upgraded to Win2K, losing their Flash 5.0 plugin in the process. Result? Any time I try and check my Yahoo mail, I get bombarded with prompts to download Flash. I would, happily, but DeVry has not seen fit to give me administrative rights. Drat.

Third, the other computer at home that I worked from had suddenly had its screen size shrink drastically, for no reason I could notice, and is on the floor in a place that's very bad to work from.

Garbled gabble letters, pop-ups and inconvenient hours, or side scrolling and wrist pain? What a choice. Now, with a computer on my own desk, I can sit here, without worrying I'm going to klutzily crash into the server tower, earning grouches from Adam, without running over any little toes with my chair, without having to be courteous to the other people in the living room.

To quote Shrek: "I like my privacy."

"...more, but I ran out of power supplies..."

Dear sweet digitalambience and his LAN. Gods. He's never had more than five computers on a LAN before; now he's got seven. He will have eight as soon as Tigereye is back up; and then any guest computers...

Wish list for "my" terminal:
MS Word
my zip drive
USB capability for connectivity to Inanna & webcam goofiness
this would be a convenient computer to have the scanner on, provided you stashed the pics somewhere else
Reminder to self: find proper programmage for desktop support for my camera
Printer?

I love helping play with computers

dead tired

...i need to go to bed by midnight. somebody smack me. Darkside?

My favorite things...

It kind of spoils the test, if you haven't taken it before, if you know what the answers are going to be used in...

Black, Egyptian Fayoumis ("chaos chicken"), and Lake Bundtzen.

( Read more... )

"Can I cancel Ostara?"

Votania's working tomorrow because a co-worker's ill. That's not good. We'll have to muddle through somehow.

In other news, nope, I'm still feeling generally lousy and lethargic. I want to sleep when I should be awake; I want to be awake when I should be asleep; I don't want to do anything in particular either of those times, and I've been getting behind on housework and not quite being up to my usual standards in schoolwork.

I think I scared the cat.

He was sticking his head through the blinds when I was trying to raise them... he tore out of my room like small children with doll clothes and ribbons were after him.

Dizzy

Really not feeling too great. My body is healthy enough at the moment, except for the little thing about constant exhaustion and not being able to breathe very well at night, but I just can't sleep, or can't wake up, and I'm always tired.

This is not a good thing. I need to be able to function for school. I want to be able to see Darkside in the mornings. I need to figure out how to get myself to go to sleep.

Visitation Rites

My parents will hopefully be visiting from the 29th to the 1st. Whee! Last I saw them was Samhein 2000, which is a long, long time ago, about a year and a half. Not quite a year and a half.

Therefore, expect erratic updates.

When I get home tonight, I need to confer with Votania... and I need to clean... and I need to get to bed. Tomorrow is an important day for school.

Drat.

My mother and I are hashing out exactly where the vacation will be spent. She wants me to fly to California; I would like them to come here so that I may introduce them to my family here, Votania and Nephew and Adam but most importantly Darkside.

We'll see how it works out.

I really, really want my father and Darkside to meet each other. It would mean a lot to me.

Why?

I have this thing about introducing men I like to my parents. My mother's opinion, sad to say, is not particularly influential to me. She has her own standards. I don't always share all of them. I don't meet up to quite a few of her standards in a few very important things to me, and neither do all of my friends. But that's the way my mother is.

My father, on the other hand... there's something about his considered, scholarly opinion that carries weight with me. Perhaps it's that I tend to fall in love with men who mentally resemble my father. Perhaps it's because I respect him so very much...

broken?

he's depressed. I'm depressed. We're all depressed.

now, I need shower and sleep, so I may go and smile at Darkside come morning.