feeling sorry for myself

It is to be hoped that one of these days I'll find myself back down to 190 like I was in high school. That was skinny in high school -- I didn't have much weight to lose beyond that. I'm tall for a girl and I've got muscle and I don't break if you drop me.

...I just feel like I should be more motivated to be losing weight, if I really want to catch Darkside's attention.

I'm sure it'll be just like my personalities. No perceptible change for the longest of times, and then suddenly, there I was, singular again, with a healthy and whole personality.

Maybe, like Mark, I'm hiding, repressing something behind this barrier of flesh.So... what?

Loony Blue

Again, another softly sad morning. Vacation got approved, yay! but my default state seems to be stuck at "not quite right". Will have to hack on it.

Darkside didn't flinch from a hug this morning. That was nice.

Sleep!

...Last night was a good night for sleep, only waking up about 5 times. This is a distinct improvement. Not so many nightmares. Was able to think about Darkside and get to sleep that way. Woke up late, but with a good hour+ to spare before class. Darkside's class schedule got rearranged, so he wasn't lonely in the cafeteria without me.

Darkside's been hanging with Bald Guy a lot more, since Bald Guy started work in the cafeteria again. It's nice to see Darkside with another friend besides Dawn and myself. Darkside hasn't gotten the chance to see Dennis K. lately, which sucks for both of them.

On the other foot, this means that to get some time alone with Darkside in the mornings, I'm going to have to go to school on the dark side of the sunrise... Bald Guy gets there around 6:30 or 7 in the mornings, and Darkside gets in around 5:30.

Grey-Haired Dishwasher

I truly do hate unloading the dishwasher. Gods know why. I certainly don't. But for whatever reason, I hate it. But I did it, today, because the sink had filled up with dirty dishes.

I remembered something, just about then, when Nephew got into the middle of the kitchen right while everybody else was in the middle of it. I remembered how I used to love helping Mama do dishes, and how it took a very long time to do, and finally she got sick of having it take so very long and didn't let us do them anymore.

Therefore, we never did the dishes when we probably ought to have. We'd never gotten the idea that dishes were something we could and probably should do. So we never did them.

I asked Nephew if he wanted to help me do dishes. He was happy to volunteer, so I gave him the crusty cornbread bowl, a lot of warm water in it, and a sponge.

He was happier than a goose in mud. (That's pretty damn happy.) He didn't get much done on a productivity level, but I think I can see him helping me do dishes in the future, just to get him with the whole idea of doing them. Phase it in gradually, rather than just handing him a sponge and a scrubby thing and the dish soap when he's tall enough to reach the sink on his own, and telling him, "Okay, have fun!"

...This is a nice, sane, and happy household, for the most part. I like it.

Too cute: the cyborger

Hee! Nocturnal! Infiltration and Exploration! Whee! Think the most deep gutter-thoughts about that you can.



This is definitely me here at home. The network is expanding: marxdarx's computer is online now, making the network the server here, Marx's computer, the Bejeweled computer, Adam's laptop, ENKI, and (soon) the other box in my room.

That's a nice little network.

Once I get Tigereye operational, there will be another computer, and soon after that, Nephew will be getting a Frankenbox from DeVry yard sale components.

Whee! Computers!

Phone Menu of the Damned

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=archmage&itemid=208622

Looking Like Lain

The network is happy. The network is very happy. Why? Because Adam and I spent some time stringing up cable at least semi-properly, rather than having it drag over the most-travelled parts of the floor. Employed: one A/C system vent controller, two finishing nails, three hair elastics, two long lengths of Cat-5. Result: only people in Votania's room are going to be tripping over cable, because it's gong to be more difficult to avoid her floor when stringing cable.

Adam's still working on putting together the system in my room, and I've been working on laundry.