copy/paste; respect: self/other.

and that feeling at the pit of your stomach where you know you've just done something that the person you respect most, even more deep down than your parents; something that will make this person think less of you.

So you plot and scheme to not tell it to them, to conceal it so well that they'll never ask.

And you know deep down in that same place that it shouldn't give a shit what they think; it's your life, dammit, and you are who you are, with your own damn weaknesses; and it feels good anyway; they're just a tightass; what should they care?

And you maybe cry, because you know that you want their respect. Even if you shouldn't have it.

On Skywalker psychology: Spoilers

Yes, the Ani/Padme dynamic was really damn creepy. It felt like it was supposed to be that way. Am I the only one who felt that Ani in Ep 1 wasn't whiny *enough*?

I was ready to grab little Anakin in the middle of the battle scene with the Trade Federation ships and say, "Look, kid, this is some scary shit and you don't know what you're doing other than how to aim this thing, and even so your reflexes are all set for gravity flying. You are *going* to be crying for your mommy."

I do not expect the teenager who's going to turn into Darth Vader, with his whole "I haven't seen you in the past twenty years; how's about ditching your friends and heading off with me like a daddy and son should?" schtick to ever have a functional relationship, especially a romantic one. ( It gets even more rambly. )

Work, etc.

Have determined that the long ramble about Star Wars and specifically Anakin/Vader that I went on last night is the basis for my argumentative research paper. Darkside wants to know whether it's the paper that's argumentative, or me argumentative about the paper. Both, I told him.

Started filling out job application for Zodiac (local magick shop) yesterday evening. Much fun. Felt I could actually, given the nature of the job, put down the truest true reason for my leaving the most recent job: "Soul-sucking telephone research drove me nuts." Will finish filling out today, and hopefully turn in, and maybe interview.

Adam still hasn't heard back from Fry's. Grr. Poor dearie. How long does their bloody paperwork take, anyway?

Lovely Phone Fun

Intermittent non-working of phones. No dial tone, and "Line In Use" indicator on main phone lights up when all receivers are known to be hung up.

Qwest is clueless.

Oh yes.

Raspberries are evidently good for pregnant women, with the whole "keeping the baby" thing.