Brainfreeze

Sometimes, through all of the silliness, I forget that Darkside's just as deep in the mystical aspects of life as am I.

Belated...

Oh, yes. Happy Birthday, Darkside, as of 2002 06 22. You're 23. Congratulations. You survived another year, at school, at your job, with your family. With me.


...I love you. Never doubt that you're worthy of my love.

Introversion, timespan

There are some people I dislike on sight.
Other people, I dislike as soon as I know.
Some, I can tolerate for short scraps of time.
Many, I get on with just fine in public.
The vast majority of the world passes me by, and I it, without interaction or comment.
Some people, I'm pleasant to in rare interactions.
Others, I get on with in daily life at school or work.
Some people I get acquainted with.
Some I'm actually friendly with.
I can make friends quickly, but it takes someone special to stay friends with.
Some people remain friends.
Some people, I will see outside of work or school.
Very few people get invited to hang out.
Even fewer actually will hang out.
Some of them will be re-invited to hang out.
Occasionally, I will seek someone out.

Often, I retreat and conduct my happiness alone with books and computer, at a safe enough remove from the energies of others, lest I become allergic from overexposure
.
Rarely, every once in too far-between a while, there will be someone whose energies and personality are matched to mine in the same invisible and silken way as bathwater of just the right temperature is to the skin. That sort of person, I can safely have with me anywhere, anywhen, not ever, or only once in a blue-green with pink polka dots moon, needing to retreat so the fluttering trailers of my selfhood won't get torn or stomped on by accident.


...Good luck on finding one of those last who feels the same about me, however.



Votania's found hers.

It's very rare that I find true solitude in the company of another, especially an other that I've known for long enough, deep enough, to develop my usual overexposure allergy to. Somehow, this time, there's peace.

To Do:

1. Write a deep entry, possibly friends-only, about Raven;
and

2. Concoct the perfume that shall be known as Spiced Peach Tart, including lucious ingredients such as:
   
   • peach
   
   
   • cinnamon
   
   
   • nutmeg
   
   
   • vanilla

Raffi and Polyamory

I really think it's the way my parents raised me that makes me capable of polyamory.

I pinpointed my first encounter with compersion, because I wanted rosalynde to have the same sort of experience, because I think it could very easily be a near-universal theme among polyamorists. My entire life and interactions with the outside world have made me feel very much like V. Michael Smith, the Stranger in a really bloody Strange Land. The first time someone I was currently involved with expressed interest in another woman and had that interest returned, I was bloody thrilled for him. He thought that I was going to be jealous as bloody fuck. I wasn't. There were a few hours of tension, mostly on his side because he thought I'd be horribly pissed, and frustration, on my side, because I couldn't communicate to him that I was just fine: his abject apologies were pissing me off!

I traced back. Had I felt jealousy before? Yeah, when Ty broke up with me for the other girl. But wait. I was pissed at him for pretending to be more involved with me than I was, and I was always amused and happy to hear about his adventures and misadventures with women after that.

I traced back more. Yeah, I'd been jealous of my sister when she acted like the toys she had were better than the toys I had.

That was about it.

I traced forward. With pyrogenic and boojum, I wanted him, but not at the expense of his relationship with her. "Share and share alike!" was the cheerful slogan that my girlfriend and I giggled over. He and she were so happy together; I couldn't take that away from them; who would want to split up a couple that was so happy?

I traced back again. Now, where was I getting that sharing thing from?

Montessori school. Raffi.

"It's mine, but you can have some.
With you I'd like to share it.
'Cause if I share it with you
You'll have some too!"

and

"The more we get together, together, together
The more we get together, the happier we'll be.
'Cause your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends
The more we get together, the happier we'll be."

Interesting. Very interesting.

Nephew has a girlfriend!

There is general giggling and celebration on this topic.

Thesaurus

What's that word that means hardened criminal and unlikely or impossible to ever be changed to the good again? There's a specific one I've got in mind, and it's often used of young people.

Among all the nasty bits of news, something nice

http://www.futureharvest.org/news/rice.bckgrnd.shtml

Arsenic, water: bad news for my dad.

http://www.wcp.net/NewsView.cfm?pkArticleID=1490

Eleven billion things I hate about you

This is directed towards Grandma (Nephew's Grandma).

In addition to everything else, you're rude. It's just not kosher, what you did.

I am teaching my child to be polite, dammit, and you're undermining the lessons. I praise him for finally getting the idea and realizing someone else is talking and shutting up, and finishing what he has to say when the other party's stopped talking -- what does Grandma do? After agreeing that not interrupting is an important thing, she goes and interrupts what Nephew's telling her.

He shuts his mouth and steams, glaring at her.

Nephew's polite, or becoming so. Grandma is not. Nephew is realizing this.