still...

I'm still shy of fully giving my love until I know it's returned in equal measure. Until that time, my eye, and my hands, will wander...

Storm tonight...

Thunder, and rain.

It's time to shut down Tigereye, methinks.

Drat! Such lovely slash!

Psychogenesis, counseling, introversion, direct divine interventions

Shawn keyed me to him, and it was only when I found someone fitting the same, able to pick my lock, that I became free. Rather, I sought a potential partner in posession of a lockpick...

I found Darkside. He undid the lock, and reset it, to my own pattern, or as close as he could simulate. When we joined hands that day, something happened. The patterns match so well.

The thoughts of personality and energy matches came upon me suddenly these past nights. When I found myself speaking in the plural of personality quirks and sets of traits, and meaning more than just those contained inside my skin, I felt the odd resonance that said I was onto something. I spoke as one social introvert to another, with the experience of two. I feel that some similarities lie deeper than that, though.

I seem to be on Active status again. I've accepted the mission, though as usual I haven't the foggiest where it'll take me. I'm rather relieved to Know that my specialties seem to be in the less externally-active Arts, though most true-introverts wouldn't see it that way.

I bond best with introverts, as I am one myself. The reason I mistake myself otherwise is that I, if given the choice, will choose to recover myself in the specific company of certain friends. These are always the friends that I may remain silent with, the ones who do not intrude themselves too far upon me, and, in an only-expected reversal of that, would find it hard to push too far if they did press.

I would take a guess that many of those who have been Tagged for counselling are extroverts, being as it's easy to interact with others that way. I have a narrow specialty: introvert Practitioners, it seems. And my foci are by preference or Assignment, not by profession. That's why I'm not Called to go into the professional side of psychiatry. Instead, I am directed to where a friendly listener with some clue will do good things, and I proceed to be myself. I tend to wind up with friends, after.

I note in passing that if the thing with Shawn was an Assignment, I feel as if I flubbed it majorly. I resigned my commission in the middle, for crying out loud. (No wonder DC saw me as an angel the first time she noticed me...) I took it up later. I note also that I came to this same concusion about the "healing attraction" a while ago: it's the mark of an Assignment. (I am given a physical reminder of the times it's inappropriate to follow through if tempted in the form of unexpected spotting that clears up the moment the temptation/opportunity passes.)

motivations

That last post was brought on by Thursday night's intense conversation; Cyteen; Shawn, Darkside, and Shrimpy; Red Sandlewood; the Wizard books; select exchanges with my priestess-confessor; and of course the BDSM Tolkien elf-slash. Never assume simplicity where complexity is possible, though Occam rarely goes bearded.

I was the one cooking, so any fingers I point are pointed inwards, but...

Every. Dish. In. The. House.

Bed Survey (karlita)

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HTML bitching

Ghaaa. I want a way to combine <ol> with <dl>...

Relevant commentary:

snowelf said the thing about elitism.

I know I'm going to hear it: "Unpack, Azz!"

So.

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interlude: Out

Heading off to the Temple of Electronics. Being out among other people these days has been stressful. Am trying. I'm avoiding Nephew, as he's being a rowdy normal kid, repeating stuff over and over, and I can't stand it.

Need sleep. Want time to reharge. Want time with Darkside.

Network vs. Red Hat vs. 'Ni: Bunny, puppy.

I seem to have the eth0 installed and active. The lights on the switch tell me that everything's plugged in. So why, in the name of holy hand grenades, are things not working?

Let's fuck with this sucker.

Since the new switch is a 5-port, let's plug everything into that sucker to make sure it works.

That works.

So far, we have determined that the cutesy "Hi, I have a LAN" icon does not appear on Enki when he's plugged into the new switch. New piece of hardware is therefore suspect.

That works, also.

When Enki will not connect to MSN, I threaten to call Microsoft.

He connected. Quickly.

...and, thus far, plugging everything into the new switch has failed to work.

Things probably not to say to people you don't know well enough yet:

"I have every confidence in your ability to someday get laid."

Damn, I must be pissed.

I don't swear by holy hand grenades often.

I must be a moron:

I'm saying it anyway.

Observation about Red Hat:

That looks an awful lot like Carmen Sandiego.

Ooooh, I want one...

...blue roses... not quite yet, but maybe soon.

NIC

NIC is indeed a 3com thingamadinger just like it says when installed. Woot.

Testing the new thumb keyboard.

Is awkward but better than stuff.

R-ing T FM

Whoo. Am becoming 1337. (Amusing: if I live to one thousand, three hundred thirty-seven, I will laugh my ass off.)

Seeing what, exactly, one is to do about networks.

Return of the Clueless

IM:

Hazel says:
who r you?
Azure Lunatic says:
Didn't we have this conversation before? I'm the one who's not Julie.
Hazel says:
o
Hazel says:
who r u then?
Hazel says:
i cant remember sorry
Azure Lunatic says:
Someone with a remarkably similar address.
Hazel says:
i havent been online for SOOOOOOOO long
Hazel says:
o
Hazel says:
thats right
Hazel says:
the person overseas right?
Azure Lunatic says:
Nope. Neither that person nor Julie.
Azure Lunatic says:
A complete stranger, in other words.
Hazel says:
o
Hazel says:
woops
Hazel says:
sorry
Hazel says:
i havent been online for ages and my mate has aonline name similar to u
Hazel says:
n i thought it may have been him
Azure Lunatic says:
Nope, sorry.
Hazel says:
right
Hazel says:
lol
Azure Lunatic says:
Goodnight.
Hazel says:
no need to be sorry
Hazel says:
goodnight