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Mar. 19th, 2003
It's morning, and I can barely write
Mar. 19th, 2003 08:15 amI've been feeling several different kinds of broken lately. I'm not sure how to go about fixing myself.
Regular speech with Darkside appears to be a good thing. While I shouldn't depend on him, I don't need to convert one of my highest strengths into my most crippling weakness without good cause.
I do get moods like that, where I don't know what's wrong and everything can be. It's not as frequent as it was, but it happens.
And when it happens, I need someone to make sure I'm OK, to help me pull myself out of there, to let me decompress. I'll be just fine... I just need hugs.
The dangerous depressions don't happen when there's someone I Trust who can hug me at the right times.
Regular speech with Darkside appears to be a good thing. While I shouldn't depend on him, I don't need to convert one of my highest strengths into my most crippling weakness without good cause.
I do get moods like that, where I don't know what's wrong and everything can be. It's not as frequent as it was, but it happens.
And when it happens, I need someone to make sure I'm OK, to help me pull myself out of there, to let me decompress. I'll be just fine... I just need hugs.
The dangerous depressions don't happen when there's someone I Trust who can hug me at the right times.
Played with constraints in Oracle class. The book was less than adequate on explaining them, so I'll have to rewrite my homework. I should get the lab done over the weekend in text, and then just pour it into the system from LJ or something when I have time at school.
Attitude Check
Mar. 19th, 2003 12:52 pmCurrent feelings about the US Government from me: "You're not my friend anymore. I'm not gonna 'vite you to my birthday party."
Them: "I don't care! I don't wanna come to your stupid ol' birthday party! I've got it bugged anyway."
Them: "I don't care! I don't wanna come to your stupid ol' birthday party! I've got it bugged anyway."
Dedication?
Mar. 19th, 2003 02:57 pmFor some people, it takes dedication to write daily, dedication to read a massive friends list, dedication to keep adding new people to the fray, dedication to devour books whole.
For me, it's the way I live. I write. Left away from LJ, I produce computer journals; away from computers, I write in my journal; away from a bound blankbook, I write on looseleaf paper; failing paper, I compose in my head, and will braindump the results over the next span of time I have near writable media.
I read. I take in all sorts of interesting things, and those give me insight and information. Even the silly books have their purpose. I study human interaction, study even why that book wasn't realistic. What makes it silly.
It takes dedication to keep me from the books.
For me, it's the way I live. I write. Left away from LJ, I produce computer journals; away from computers, I write in my journal; away from a bound blankbook, I write on looseleaf paper; failing paper, I compose in my head, and will braindump the results over the next span of time I have near writable media.
I read. I take in all sorts of interesting things, and those give me insight and information. Even the silly books have their purpose. I study human interaction, study even why that book wasn't realistic. What makes it silly.
It takes dedication to keep me from the books.
Got a bit of a nap in the morning. There was something about goats? and black and silver striped and checkered lipstick?
And then Votania's nieces decided to clean, and they were using ammonia, pure ammonia, and they wound up killing a bird, one of the lovely black ones with the long tails....
And then Votania's nieces decided to clean, and they were using ammonia, pure ammonia, and they wound up killing a bird, one of the lovely black ones with the long tails....
Thursday: Class 10-11, Little Fayoumis-sitting 11:45-evening.
Friday: Class 10-11, lab 11-12, funeral for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
votania's uncle and associated travel/events 12-22.
So I'll be out of range for most of the day Friday, though I will doubtless have things to share when I get back.
Friday: Class 10-11, lab 11-12, funeral for
votania's uncle and associated travel/events 12-22. So I'll be out of range for most of the day Friday, though I will doubtless have things to share when I get back.
War, debates thereat
Mar. 19th, 2003 11:33 pmHad a debate with one of my group members about war. It ended up with good-natured mudslinging about the respective presidents; you know a debate's passed the sanity point when the guy brings up Bill Clinton getting his cock sucked, and you retort with "And your guy snorted WHAT up his nose?"
I Focused, not that it was the ethical thing to do, but that it was the Right thing to do, that the guy believe what he needed to for the best. I'm not fool enough to try to peace-whammy, but I am bright enough to ground and inspire Clue.
I Focused, not that it was the ethical thing to do, but that it was the Right thing to do, that the guy believe what he needed to for the best. I'm not fool enough to try to peace-whammy, but I am bright enough to ground and inspire Clue.