Ah, call center life.

I got a letter from my insurance company, saying that a specific program had tried to contact me on all the contact information they had, but weren't able to get in touch with me. And unless they heard from me by *checks date on newly arrived letter against calendar* tomorrow (meaning today, because tomorrow is a weekend) I will be disenrolled from the program.

So I called the number provided. Which turned out to be not the real number just a tribute but the number my insurance company had dedicated to the topic. And, as I indicated to the operator, I had been a bit busy with cancer treatments and such to take the initiative myself, and all of the calls seemed super sketchy to the point I hadn't felt safe taking them.

The operator shifted to a very sweet and sympathetic tone to continue the conversation.

"Actually," I said, "Could you shift registers back from 'kind' to 'brisk and efficient'?"

"I have no idea what you mean," she said, with obvious annoyance.

"Perfect!" I said.


(The phone number she had been given for direct contact didn't work, she discovered, and apparently it has to be arranged through my primary care. Who she defaulted to calling "he".)