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Fuzzy Modem and the Pan of Beans
May. 4th, 2003 12:54 pmOnce upon a time, I had a high school best friend. His current online nickname is Fuzzy Modem, and he hangs out at this spacebattles board a lot.
One day, he and I were on the phone. This happened a lot. He got hungry, and decided to make himself something to eat. Mindful of the past debacle with a can of beans, I made sure that he'd cooked it correctly (open can, put in frying pan).
He walked into the living room with the pan of beans and sat down at the table to eat it.
Somewhere in there, he stood at the door for a long time, calling the dog in. He was barefoot.
He ate until he was full, and then reflected that his feet were cold. He noticed that the substantial leftovers from his lunch were warm, even hot.
The only logical thing to do was, of course, stick his feet in the pan of beans to warm them up. Not surprisingly, it worked.
We chatted for a while. He mentioned how nice and warm the beans were between his toes. He noticed that they were growing cold, and decided it was probably a good time to get his feet out of the beans and go into the kitchen and... shit.
His feet were all covered with beans. He was sitting in the carpeted living room.
He decided to take care of things. He called the dog. When she finally wandered over, sled-dog ears perking at him, he pointed her to his bean-covered feet and ordered her to lick. She gave his feet a few swipes with her tongue, which made him giggle at the tickling, but she found the beans not interesting, and wandered off about her own business.
He eventually crawled into the kitchen, washed his feet off, and retrieved the pan of beans, now with footprints. He seriously considered finishing it off. Disgusted, I hung up on him.
One day, he and I were on the phone. This happened a lot. He got hungry, and decided to make himself something to eat. Mindful of the past debacle with a can of beans, I made sure that he'd cooked it correctly (open can, put in frying pan).
He walked into the living room with the pan of beans and sat down at the table to eat it.
Somewhere in there, he stood at the door for a long time, calling the dog in. He was barefoot.
He ate until he was full, and then reflected that his feet were cold. He noticed that the substantial leftovers from his lunch were warm, even hot.
The only logical thing to do was, of course, stick his feet in the pan of beans to warm them up. Not surprisingly, it worked.
We chatted for a while. He mentioned how nice and warm the beans were between his toes. He noticed that they were growing cold, and decided it was probably a good time to get his feet out of the beans and go into the kitchen and... shit.
His feet were all covered with beans. He was sitting in the carpeted living room.
He decided to take care of things. He called the dog. When she finally wandered over, sled-dog ears perking at him, he pointed her to his bean-covered feet and ordered her to lick. She gave his feet a few swipes with her tongue, which made him giggle at the tickling, but she found the beans not interesting, and wandered off about her own business.
He eventually crawled into the kitchen, washed his feet off, and retrieved the pan of beans, now with footprints. He seriously considered finishing it off. Disgusted, I hung up on him.
