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azurelunatic: Cartoon Azz with blue hair in almost-tidy bun, with glasses and black lipstick. (Azzlibrarian)
Plotting to leave a polite note with the office stating "I will abide by the posted laundry room hours while they are in force. I disagree with these new hours and respectfully request that they be rescinded."

Monthly.

In other news, we have the happy/fun apartment inspections. This doesn't mean heavy-duty cleaning, thankfully, but it does mean some serious de-cluttering.

Laundry is in for drying.

O'Reilly Owl (regexp type) has now been hacked, in convenient LJ-icon size.

Am attempting to formulate what the hell to write back to an old friend, with whom both contact and the friendship have lapsed severely. She is in the habit of forwarding massive amounts of stuff, some of it cheerful and uplifting, some of it ... not so (the "Hi! This is a nasty spider bite! See how it progresses! Brown Recluse is dangerous! Watch out, m'kay?" scare-mail), and some of it ... well, there is an audience for the "OMG! Christian values have departed the society! DOOM!" e-mail. That audience is not me. I said as much in reply. I got back a snippy e-mail saying essentially the "Well, I would have thought that YOU would care while the RIGHTS OF OTHERS are being CHIPPED AWAY!"

Except that I have no problem with the secularization of government, feel that "holiday" and "season" are appropriate words for the $WINTERHOLIDAY season, especially if individual people are celebrating their own personal holidays and referring to them openly, and think that the removal of certain overt Christian themes from some bits of mass media (TV shows, like the e-mail was protesting) is more of a market response issue than a rights issue, especially given that people who've had the religion shoved in their face in the past tend to react all prickly-wise to it if it's presented as the Default Religion.

Do note if my assumption is incorrect, but I do believe that there are parts of the US where wearing a tiny, tasteful pentacle (less than dime sized) can get one targeted for assault and/or harassment, to say nothing of potential loss of job, demotion, discrimination, et cetera. I also believe that wearing a cross of similar size in most parts of the US is anywhere from unobjectionable to unremarkable to laudable. It's sad that people feel as if they can't express their religion openly without fear of being mocked. It's also sad that there are television channels where people like Pat Robertson run their mouths, and people listen to this. In summary: Stick = the eye of the public face of Christianity. Mote = the eye of major broadcast network television. Just sayin'.

Not sure how I want to express all of that-there sentiment to the woman, but I'm planning on expressing at least some of it.


I am again cursed with insufficient shelf space. I probably want a bigger apartment in the future, to save room for all my books. I like books. Books like me. I have a best friend. He likes books too.

I do intend to pass some books on the instant I get done with them, should I fail to like them or fail to want to keep them on hand. Only sensible thing to do with bad paperbacks, aside from chucking them at 3am noise polluters.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

If you've heard it before, it's the same one. )

WOMEN'S ASS SIZE STUDY......

There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses! I thought the results were pretty interesting:
85% of women think their ass is too fat...
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...
And the punch line! )
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to 'Where do pets come from?'

Adam said, 'Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you any more. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.'And God said 'No problem. I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam.  )
azurelunatic: Ryoko's gloved hand dripping with her own blood. (bleeding)
I lie awake waiting for you. As I lie on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.
You came to me unexpectedly...  )
azurelunatic: Cartoon person with wild blue hair, glasses, black lipstick, and fanged grin. (Azzgrin)
From Guide Dog Aunt...
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...

A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the lot.

The family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity... )
azurelunatic: Cartoon Azz with messy blue hair in a bun, without their glasses, in a nightgown. (Azzsleep)
An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra?" asked the doctor.

"Not a chance," she said. "He won't even take an aspirin."

"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went."

It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor... )
azurelunatic: <user name="azurelunatic"> and her best friend giving bunny ears to each other.  (silly)
I've seen this particular list before. #3 is still my all-time favorite. 10 Euphemisms for "Your Zipper is Down..."  )

Modern procedure for healing black eyes (adult)Read more... )


"As I've Matured..." (life lessons) Read more... )
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (wild rose)
Mayonnaise Jar and the Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the coffee.

A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

Read more... )
azurelunatic: Cartoon person with wild blue hair, glasses, black lipstick, and fanged grin. (Azzgrin)
Lamentations of the Father
by Ian Frazier


Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cloven-hoofed animal... )
azurelunatic: Small boy making faces. Animated.  (Little Fayoumis)
Guide Dog Aunt forwards me the best things.
NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back-seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

Read more... )
azurelunatic: Cartoon person with wild blue hair, glasses, black lipstick, and fanged grin. (Azzgrin)
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, Read more... )

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azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺

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