Figment: *looks at pies* "I can't get those. I'll ruin my diet."
Me: *looks at him*
Figment: "I've got to keep my slim girlish figure!"
Figment: *is male*
Me: *cracks up laughing*
Cashier: *appears out of nowhere*
Me: *starts putting things on the conveyer belt*
Cashier: *looks at us funny*
Me: *looks at cashier funny*
Cashier: "I'm a really good listener."
Me: *wonders how much of the previous conversation he heard*
Figment: *is buying a whole pantload of hot dogs*
Cashier: "That's my favorite number of hot dogs."
Me: (to Figment) "At least it's not soup."
Cashier: *looks curious*
Figment: "That's what I forgot! Soup! ...I need to eat something at work."
Cashier: "But soup isn't as easy as hot dogs. You have to find a place to heat it and all that jazz."
Figment: "You can. You don't have to."
Me: "I work with him. He eats soup. Cold. From the can. Condensed soup."
Cashier: *gives Figment a funny look*
Figment: "But it's chicken noodle!"
Cashier: "Ohhh. Yeah. That's different."
Me: *looks at them like they're on crack*
Cashier: "Chicken noodle soup has everything you need."
Me: *looks at Figment like he's on crack*
Figment: *looks at me like I'm on crack*
Me: "There are some essential differences here. I'm a woman." *places hand on Figment's shoulder* "You're ..."
Cashier: *gives us that look again* *rings up the last stuff*
Me: *grabs cart*
Figment: *follows me*
Casher: "Goodnight, ladies..."