Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
I had reluctantly decided that seeing Seanan perform at Music Under the Trees was not in the cards because budget, but a few things shifted. I had, of course, lost track and was sure it had sold out and/or already happened, so when Seanan retweeted that there were 6 tickets left, I asked [personal profile] alexseanchai if they had plans, then updated them on their new plans. (Which worked because we'd already had the "gosh this event yes please" chat, *and* because "my plan is sleep and an ice pack" is also a perfectly cromulent plan.)

So we zipped off on Saturday, not entirely knowing what to expect. (Belovedest had their monthly weekend work shift.) Signage picked up about where the map left off.

We found seats (extreme back right by the stone stairs) and LO THERE WAS MUSIC.

Highlights:
* Unexpectedly but unsurprisingly seeing [livejournal.com profile] tygerr and [livejournal.com profile] cawingcrow
* [twitter.com profile] stealthcello explaining how her synaesthesia works in the composition process
* The reaction when I pitched "Unseelie toddler running through the farmers market" to Menage a Trio for musical improv
* Alexander James Adams, entirely
* The band that flooded Chicago, oops
* #notalldragons #butdefinitelythisguy
* The mushroom alfredo sauce
* The rhubarb fool would probably have been one but I was too overwhelmed to actually find an appropriate vessel or utensil
* Crocheting pieces of the happiness and magic into my lace nightgown in progress
* Ophelia
* Space Girl
* The one with the Furies, Furiosa, and political climate
* Still Catch the Tide
* My Story is Not Done
* Wicked Girls Saving Themselves

We absconded fairly quickly after, as everyone was ow and flomp. Traffic was a mess in Tacoma due to a previous drunk driver murdering a motorcyclist on I5. Belovedest had chicken strips heated and ready. They're a great partner.

Next year I want Belovedest and my morail and my morail's datefriend and all the bits of the polycule who would enjoy it to join us. And to maybe bring our own chairs.
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
So one of my friends was trawling the internet looking for Useful, and discovered that there seemed to be plenty of guides for introverts on surviving extrovert parties, but none for introverts planning their own parties, or for people planning parties that are designed to be friendly for introverts.

I hope to help remedy this lack.


Extroverts tend to be able to socialize at the drop of a hat. Introverts may need more of a prompt to do so. Consider party activities, like card or board games, something to watch as a group (Mystery Science Theatre 3000 is a standard), or a craft get-together. Make sure that anyone is welcome to just hang back and watch. A dinner party can also provide a helpful structure.

Avoid the sorts of long games that if you start, you're committed to an hour or more, unless you know that enough people to play them are actually into that.

Have places to retreat to, such as secluded reading nooks, a cloakroom, the kitchen, or similar. This can help free up the bathroom for people who need to use it for the intended function, if there are other places of (relative) solitude. Consider the need for multiple, two-or-three-person areas. Two or three can sit around in companionable silence that's almost as good as being entirely alone (sometimes better), and a party with more than one introvert may need corners suitable for all of them.

When giving the Tour of the Place, include mention of the quiet places, so your guests will know that it is acceptable/encouraged to duck in if things get a bit loud for them.

Many discussions of introverts-in-high-social functions use "loud" and "socially overwhelming" as close synonyms, though they're not entirely. However, actual volume can contribute. Unless it's a dance party, set the volume on the music/entertainment at a level that people do not have to scream over in order to be heard. (If it is a sufficiently loud dance party, have a quiet room.)

Pay careful attention to the guest list, and make sure that there are no known explosive/uncomfortable combinations. Social is hard enough without the risk of something going boom. Unless you're pretty sure it'll work, maybe avoid a situation with chatty people who all know each other and one very introverted person who knows only you. Try for something where everyone knows at least one other person besides you. (Mapping this out may be made easier with a social network visualizer tool. In a pinch, use paper and multicolored crayons. If you have Microsoft Office, try Visio, as you can use the connector tools and then shuffle nodes around without breaking links.)

Try to avoid including mortal enemies in the same party. (It is at this point that I link http://www.plausiblydeniable.com/opinion/gsf.html in case someone's not been introduced to it before.) Basically if you have a social group with a pair of mortal enemies in it and you plan a party for that group, either you're going to risk Unpleasantness before or after if one of them isn't invited to the party, because of being left out, or Unpleasantness at the party, if they both come and clash there. Me, I'd choose the straightforward "look, under other circumstances I would invite you to the party, and there will be future parties where you will be gladly invited, but the fact is that you and X do not get along, and X is coming to this party, so you are not" approach. (There was one party where Y was not informed that the party existed, the party was in honor of X's birthday, Y found out about the party but somehow missed the reason for the party, Y showed up in a huff that he'd not been invited, and I got to do the explanation -- even though it was not my party. Y subsided and went quietly away.) (If you guessed that one might be a Shawn story, you win the prize.)


What else am I missing?
azurelunatic: Francine from Strangers in Paradise, hair loose in a white tank top. (Francine)
I'd been anticipating having a quiet evening at home with my friends inside the computer. Instead, I wound up over at [livejournal.com profile] trystan_laryssa and [livejournal.com profile] dustraven's, with their old roommate (who I'm sure I used to have a nickname for) and his wife and their kids, and [livejournal.com profile] figment0 besides.

I brought pomegranates and butterbeer, in the cream soda and buttershots assemble-it-yourself form. We played Harry Potter Scene It, then Apples to Apples. There was great hilarity over the latter, especially after the last remaining awake kid conked out. I won "clean" with "girl scouts" (judge: [livejournal.com profile] dustraven) and "dirty" with "car bomb" (judge: [livejournal.com profile] figment0) but failed to bag "fuzzy" with "cheesecake" (the sort that's been left at the back of the refrigerator too long, and what was I supposed to play, Canada, Death Valley, or Israel?). The rest of the group voted that [livejournal.com profile] trystan_laryssa and I had to be separated, as we were getting too high a percentage of each other's apples.

[Poll #643557]
Is it customary to decide that the green apples that a person holds are a description of them? Our crew tonight seemed to find it customary to break out into song at pseudo-random intervals, like when someone said "dead" (we went through bits of "Dead Man's Party" and then TMBG's "Dead" the second time it came up) or when Bangkok got discussed (not much between despair and ecstasy). We did that last year too, however, not playing that game, so I think it's just the group. At some point I'd like to play the game in reverse, with green apples dealt out and red apples as the challenge. We'd run out of apples more quickly that way, but still fun for all.

Midnight was a bit of a scramble, as we were rather all in game. Champagne was poured. The guys got the TV on at 6 seconds until midnight, and I wound up clinking my cellphone against glasses (I'd been looking at the time on it). I demonstrated my Secret Weapon about hanging around with smokers when we went outside: incense. The dude gave me a light. After [livejournal.com profile] dustraven and [livejournal.com profile] trystan_laryssa had their New Year's Kiss, I snagged a little bit of a smooch from her. [livejournal.com profile] figment0 got a peck on the cheek. Someone was letting off fireworks, people were banging on pots and pans, and someone touched off something that went fucking BOOM in rather a scary bit of noise, such that half the people present thought it had been gunfire until physical evidence in the form of we'd seen light over the trees and intervening buildings pointed out that it had to have been a far-too-large firework going off far too low, because muzzle flash is evidently neither that bright nor that high. The kid slept through it all.

The requisite car alarms were set off. It's not a fireworks display until someone's car alarm goes off; the more car alarms the better the fireworks. Is "car alarms" an Apples to Apples card? If it's not, it should be a write-in.

After we were done outside, we went back inside and finished up the game. [livejournal.com profile] trystan_laryssa won; she'd wound up with the best of a number of bad rounds and reached ten first.

[livejournal.com profile] figment0 dropped me off home. I was staggering and weaving by that point: the energy was wearing off and the booze was wearing on. Two glasses of butterbeer and a fifth of a small glass of champagne doesn't sound like a lot, but it is if you're me, which I am; it also is on that much of not supper. Heck, it was rather a lot of not breakfast and not lunch either, because I was running out to the store to get carrots for breakfast (at 6 pm) when I called [livejournal.com profile] trystan_laryssa, and then I wound up chatting a little, not eating breakfast, and closing down the computer and leaving. Horror of horrors: I think I Forgot to Eat Real Food. And given that I was off visiting Guide Dog Aunt, who cooks better than I do and keeps Actual Food on hand, I may well be among the few who lost weight over the holiday season.

How do you get pomegranate out of a cat? I have pomegranate on my fingers. I sent pomegranate home with the girls. I don't think the cats got into the pomegranate. I cleared dishes out from the clean dish washer into the cupboards and then from the sink into the dirty dish washer.

I want to try out the rubber ice mold that I think will work for chocolate. Someday soon.

Profile

azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
Azure Jane Lunatic (Azz) 🌺

June 2025

S M T W T F S
12 3 456 7
8910 11121314
151617 18192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Style Credit

Page generated Jun. 28th, 2025 10:52 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios