Me: "This shirt looks good to wear today."
Shirt: *looks sensible, remotely fashionable, and black*
Me: "Wait a minute. I know your type."
Me: *shakes shirt*
Shirt: *disgorges stocking*
Stocking: *sticks to wall*
Me: "Umm..."
Shirt: "WTF."
My sensible Bachelor Housewife Side: "You have dryer sheets for a reason, Loonie."
The Wall: *spits sock to floor*
Stocking: *lies there with deceptive calm*
Me: "No, I don't think so." *gets dressed*