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May. 18th, 1997 08:30 amSunday, May 18, 1997 08:30
Called Brian last night and cried. He managed to distract me, fortunately. I’m gonna try to call Jessica and talk with her. She’s wonderful, and maybe she could help me if something gets worse. I don’t like this. It’s my fault. I wish I could rewind time. I truly do wish it. If only wishing were enough. In the movies sometimes it is. In books sometimes it is. But is it that way in real life? He’s my hold on reality.
I guess I’ll have to do without reality and my better half, then. This is going to be hell. This is going to be absolutely psycho hell, and I’m not sure I’m going to survive it. I want -- no, not my Mommy; she could never fix anything. I want Josh-and-Kim to hold me. I’m not a part of my family anymore. I’ve uprooted myself. I don’t want to be part of my family anymore.
Savil called. Tell Stephanie that Savil says hi; get Stephanie’s number so that Savil may call Stephanie.
In addition to slapping Shawn and calling him an asshole, I held up my hand in front of his face and asked him how many fingers I was holding up. The correct answer was one, the middle one. I wasn’t being nice.
Savil would be interested in Hannah. Hmmmm…
In a much better mood. 161 Star Trek books. How about that!!
Talking with Savil is interesting. She wrote me an e-mail message, which was a good thing. I’ll read it tomorrow. I think I’m ready to live again. Maybe go out with JoshC.
Argh! Do I always have to hurt there? Right nipple, aches often. It’s annoying.
Called Brian last night and cried. He managed to distract me, fortunately. I’m gonna try to call Jessica and talk with her. She’s wonderful, and maybe she could help me if something gets worse. I don’t like this. It’s my fault. I wish I could rewind time. I truly do wish it. If only wishing were enough. In the movies sometimes it is. In books sometimes it is. But is it that way in real life? He’s my hold on reality.
I guess I’ll have to do without reality and my better half, then. This is going to be hell. This is going to be absolutely psycho hell, and I’m not sure I’m going to survive it. I want -- no, not my Mommy; she could never fix anything. I want Josh-and-Kim to hold me. I’m not a part of my family anymore. I’ve uprooted myself. I don’t want to be part of my family anymore.
Savil called. Tell Stephanie that Savil says hi; get Stephanie’s number so that Savil may call Stephanie.
In addition to slapping Shawn and calling him an asshole, I held up my hand in front of his face and asked him how many fingers I was holding up. The correct answer was one, the middle one. I wasn’t being nice.
Savil would be interested in Hannah. Hmmmm…
In a much better mood. 161 Star Trek books. How about that!!
Talking with Savil is interesting. She wrote me an e-mail message, which was a good thing. I’ll read it tomorrow. I think I’m ready to live again. Maybe go out with JoshC.
Argh! Do I always have to hurt there? Right nipple, aches often. It’s annoying.
