being have

Adam had a long talk with V. last night. She was upset with him for reconciling with me after the fight that he and I had, and said some very hurtful things that she meant at the time, but perhaps might not have been said so roughly had she been thinking about what she was saying first, before saying it.

He got upset, but they talked things out tonight. This is, I hope, a good thing.

Nevermind about the Tarot reading. Six of cups reversed, baby... yeeks.

Grr. Argh. Webpage fun.

Trying to hack at my awful Angelfire page. It's a study in the horrors of a kid unversed in HTML and chock-full of campiness and forwarded e-mail humor. Now there is non-loading-ness.

At least the photos of me came out looking OK. The rest of the site is in ruins, though... not because it got trashed, but because it started out that way in the first place...

OK, not half bad.

Most of you have already seen what I really look like. For those of you who haven't, nor seen Shamash.... here.

My html is horrible.

http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/darkbright/photohome.html

Link for me

http://www.passover.net/

I'm not exactly sure why, but it's part of my heritage. I suppose I absorb cultures that I identify with through books so strongly that they perhaps become, in some odd way, my own. I was raised with All-Of-A-Kind Family, the story of a Jewish family with all girls growing up in old New York.

In any case, I internalized a few of the things here and there. My way of acknowledging my Judeo-Christian heritage without so much emphasis on the Christian part, I suppose... and fitting, as I started my formal training on the Qabala.

Hm. I wonder if, for future years, I should create a condensation and adaptation, for household use.

This is a part of my heritage. Perhaps I was not born into a Jewish family. Perhaps I do not observe most of the religious viewpoints. Passover is still a part of me more deeply rooted than the family tradition of saving the last three green beans for the birds.

Defensive much? Yes. When people go around playing cut-and-paste religion, some people, people who were raised more fully in the tradition, a more "pure" version of the religion, get snippy about corruption of the meaning, not having the right spirit about it, not doing things properly... that bothers me. Even though my parents were something-Protestant (inactive) and raised Quaker, the rites of Passover strike some deep and pure note within me, one that I'm obligated to respond to. Not obligated by any outside force, but a drive within me that says, "This is part of me. I will participate." And if my participation includes specifically honoring the Goddess as well, in the nameless, faceless, unspeakable sum total of the Divinity, that outpouring of light that has all names, all faces, all voices blended within, then so I shall.

!= fish heads

Shamash does not eat fish heads. Votania bought a fish for dinner, and it came with head and tail. She cut off head and tail for cat. Cat made mrowing sounds, but sniffed the fishhead and walked away.

Nephew's new phrase: "Cut it out, you duck!" Bugs & Daffy, we think. He's racing around and saying that to Shamash, who is neither a duck nor jdllama's cat Duck.

Update: he has dragged the fish head and tail out of the bowl and left them on the carpet, and is now eating the tail. I suppose he'll get to the head next.

Family.

Well, my parents are coming to visit, leaving California Saturday, getting here Sunday, staying all day and for breakfast on Monday, and then leaving after breakfast. So they will get to meet Darkside.

Unfortunately, Votania's got Easter planned with her family, the blood relatives that she can't stand half of. She wants to stay here and meet my parents, who she may never get another chance to meet -- they are both in their fifties, and it's going to be a good while before she and I get the budgetary room to go to Alaska. It would cause a lot of family politics for Votania to skip out on a family holiday; she'd never hear the end of it, especially ditching for someone else's family. Family is family, right or wrong, to her clan.

I can't make a judgment for her. My family does not have any comparable situations. Easter happens every year. There are family dinners every major holiday. This is a one-time thing. But family is family, and is spending time with my parents really worth the shitstorm that would go down if she skipped out this one time?

Fucking conservative blue-collar trailer park bastards.

Alcohol Cushion

In order to avoid my father's grouching about beer etc, we're finishing off some of the visible alcohol around the house, the stuff in the kitchen. The stuff that can live in my closet is just fine where it is. So far today I've had two wine coolers and a glass of wine. I don't do this too often. Usually, when I drink, I have one drink and that's it. This is perhaps once a week, two weeks, three weeks.

Votania gave Shamash some catnip. He remains wired off of catnip for three days. He'll be wired today, Saturday, Sunday. My parents show up Sunday. Did I mention that my mom hates cats? She's real quiet and polite about it, but she does. Cats seek her out, for this reason.

I made french fries tonight. Mine are damn good. Butter the bottom of the pan liberally; use a glass pan. Stir and salt. Sprinkle on onion powder. Yum.

Seder

Rather unconventional, for a witch, and rather unconventional in terms of the other seders I've attended, but ... for me, it worked.

I did not know that my crystal ball liked wine, before this.