Broken fan [my mind]

I have a fan in my room. It's one of the little box style fans, the cheap kind you can get at the supermarket every summer when it starts warming up.

The thing about it is, I got this fan a year ago, maybe more, maybe less. (Probably less; I was dirt poor a year ago; we had to hit the food bank once. [I ate the ham.]) Thing is, the fan's gotten worn to the point where it won't turn over once turned on if it hasn't been running for an arbitrary length of time. The juice flows to it, though. You hear the slight buzz of the motor as the fan tries to move, maybe creep-crawls at maybe 1/120 rpm. I take my nail file, stick it between the cracks, and hand-turn the thing until it finally turns over, picks up speed, starts on its own.

Once it's going, it's fine.

My mind is like that, especially in regard to the Deeper Truths. Someone says something, and I realize that the other reason I've had a headache today is because that hadn't been said yet. Synchronicity's a witch. The cat runs headfirst into the wall at the moment that I realize this.

Adam's Evening

soju came over, with her brand new computer, and chilled. She and Adam got it all set up and ready for her to put back together at home and play with.

I went out to grab some groceries. When I came back, I learned that Adam was going to take one last, last stab at seeing V. before she leaves.

soju and I had a good giggle over that one. Into tempting fate much?

Bwa-ha-ha...

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=infojunkies&itemid=205475

...get yer grrrove on, W!

dreaming life

Came to school before six and had breakfast with Darkside. Told him about Adam's dates from hell.

He is evidently in fact bothered by my subordinate body language around him.

Had a long chat with Bald Guy about the pros and cons of opening a gaming shop in Phoenix. Well, I mostly smiled and nodded; he ranted.

Had a chat with Neighbor about romance and life. Neighbor points out that at least Adam is getting some.

(no subject)

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=spacemummy&itemid=114673&view=517873

I layer my mind in interesting ways. Half the time I'm not aware of the connections I'm making, lately. This is not a good thing. Where has my mind gone?

I need to drag out some of the old, I mean really old, volumes of my paper journal and take a look at what I used to think, how I used to think, what I used to read. I need to write down all of the books I read again, so I can remember what they are for future reference.

Lately, I've read some Diana Wynne Jones: Howl's Moving Castle, Castle in the Air, and the four volumes of the Chestromanci. Star Trek: New Earth, 1-4. Star Trek: Gateways, 1 & 3.

Insubordination

In terms of dominant/submissive, I am a switch.

Some people bring out the dominant side of me. Adam does. I enjoy tickling him and being able to occasionally pick him up and drag him to bed. Even though I have no actual control over him in our relationship, I am usually the one to initiate lovemaking, to bring up a discussion of the state of our relationship. R. brought out the dominant in me very, very strongly. I had my way with him, and he didn't argue with me. BJ brought out the dominant in me. As I evidently brought out the dominant in him, there were clashes. He's ordinarily a sub.

I am more comfortable being submissive. In most of my daily relationships, I go along with other people providing direction, given that it's where I'm going. Instead of taking the wheel myself, I pick a bus to hop on. It's only rarely that I am the one to put a movie in the VCR of my own accord. Someone else will decide to watch a movie, and I may or may not participate. Votania is a very strong dominant, and most of her tastes coincide with mine well enough that I either like her style or am indifferent. I am the Ivan to her Miles, but more the Ivan of A Civil Campaign, the quieter one preferring to take a less visible stance for safety reasons.

I do have a will of my own, a very strong one. When Votania and I clash on something, sparks fly, because neither she nor I bend easily when it's a matter our mind is set on.

I was exceptionally submissive in my relationship with Shawn. DC said that when she first met us, she thought, "Oh, it's the gay guy and his guardian angel." He was the leader. I walked at his right hand and a pace behind. Anything he did, I had to be okay with. If I wasn't, he wouldn't talk to me.

Of all the men I've loved, my relationship with Darkside is perhaps the most equal relationship I've ever had. Neither one of us is in a position of control over the other. He doesn't boss me around; I don't control him. Perhaps because of this, I am willing to allow him to be dominant of me. When he orders me to go to bed, to sleep, and states it as an explicit order, I follow it. When I'm relaxing near him, I am often willing to let him drive the conversation, and my body language reflects that. It goes somewhat deeper than that as well....

Lost: one redhead

I seem to have misplaced one digitalambience. Has anyone seen him?

Description: Tall, skinny, beanpole-type dude. Curly copper hair. Glasses.

Last seen heading to V's place with soju.

May be wearing smug smirk and/or grouchy frown.

English critique

Ah, it's nice to have logic classes in my past to help me deal with the analysis required for the papers.

Teacher thinks my research topic is too informational rather than argumentative. Gods help me. I may wind up doing a paper on something else entirely, but still with a related theme. Religious, of course. That's one of the few current issues that interest me. (Spent a few moments there making sure that my plurals matched...)

Book just finished: The Light of Other Days, by Arthur C. Clarke and Stephen Baxter. Not bad.

Book working through: Faith of the Fallen, Terry Goodkind. Evidently that last has prequels. It seems to stand well so far.

hair, pen

I notice that even though my bead-braid has fallen out of my hair, I still reach to the place where it used to hang when thinking about putting the cap on my pen, because I have had a pen dangling from there off and on since 1995.

Interesting, that. I wonder how long it'll take to not do that anymore? It takes only a short time to form the habit...

(no subject)

Say you have a five year old. Your five year old is visiting a place where they have a [gerbil, mouse, small rat, parakeet] and wants to play with it. Your kid has no experience with this kind of critter. The people of the place take the critter out and allow your kid to hold it.

[Poll #29548]

Why this survey? Here's the scoop.

http://www.livejournal.com/talkread.bml?journal=votania&itemid=17566

Yessss!

Got Nephew to eat a 1 1/2" piece of asparagus with dinner. Dinner included roast beef with special sauce (soy sauce, A-1, onion powder, onion pepper, a sprinkling of basil, and some ginger powder) basted at intervals throughout cooking, and asparagus.

Votania says my roast beef is better than hers.

It came out all juicy and tender... even Marx had a sampling. I was running around feeding little bits off a fork to people (my father's trick) and shared it with Nephew, and he liked it. So he ate that when it was put in front of him.

I've introduced the concept of "No-thank-you helpings" of certain objectionable but necessary foods into dinners, and Votania's adopted the concept, which means that things run a lot more smoothly. Give the kid a bit, with the understanding that if he eats this, he won't have to eat any more of that at this meal if he doesn't like it, but if he does like it, he can have some more, but without the pressure of a whole pile of the stuff on his plate that he Has To Eat.

He ate the asparagus, using the orange soda to wash it down.

I am a damn good Auntie.

Not quite a date from hell, but close enough for cheese balls

V had a lot of homework to do last night, so there wasn't enough time or energy for much to be going on.

Adam decided that it was the better part of valor to keep his mouth shut when she told him that he really needed to improve his skills, because she hadn't gotten off the past two times, rather than telling her that while she was off on her three month vacation, he would be diligently practicing the sexual arts with me, especially considering that they were lying there together naked.

He missed his first class and left his phone in her car.