Durnk!

The guys hung about in the living room: Marx, Votania, Viking, looking at the sick&twisted pics of Steakandcheese.com. No 'Ni linky because it's just sick,s ome of them.

And Adam playing Dungeon Seige as usual, online with the Atheist. Bad mental heigiene, that one.

And me, getting drunk on one glass of sacramental blackberry wine.

And explaining to Adam exactly why my friend needs the advice on matters of physical love.

Perhaps get Darkside to explain tricks of the art? Perhaps produce an instructional video with Adam?

Kimmiebeth helped me learn what to do beyond Tab A & Slot B. Perhaps she and pyro could be pursuaded to help again? Odd, old associations reassociating themselves. The bookshelf in the living room fills a tower higher; no topple. No spill blood.

fan on. Strawberry lip gloss. Glass hearts; glass mutant hearts. Octagonal bowl with ice cream. Knee Deep in Chocolate, Blue Bunny, is a brand worth searching over a year for. The little chocolate bits, like miniature Reese's Pieces, only no peanut butter, just creamier chocolate: those are what make the ice cream the delight it is.

Download the core dump of brain splat onto the blue screen of journal, unicode not hex.

Waterbottle. Adam. Bitchy fucking Witchy week, so no oral sex. Fuck. Ibuprofen. I need sleep for my Darkside morning.

Psychiatrists. I cried today. My health's not worth Arizona; my health's not worth playing with. I need sleep. I need to be able to get a good rest and school and work.

I want to nest in Alaska, in a survivalist hole with solar panels and a rumpus room done in white, padded walls and concrete. I want a beloved, a lifemate, to hide there with me. I want friends. I want friends who can and will visit.

Cried again about Darkside's not wanting to see me outside of school. Cried about the concept of giving up my Alaska citizenship. It's as if it were a separate country. I am still a legal resident of Alaska so long as I revisit every now and then and maintain intent to return for good, for keeps.

Alaska is my home; home is where the heart is. My heart is with Votania and Nephew; my heart is wherever Darkside is. Votania and Nephew won't, can't, move to Alaska: Votania's heart is with Echo, and Echo stays with his Princess; they stay here. My heart is with Darkside: Darkside plays hackey-sack with my heart. My heart is in Alaska: I freeze my ass off.

Alone.

I must stop confusing my beloved with a god.

Thou art God.

.
.
.

and some people just fail to recognize that fact.

Morning.

Stayed up too late; woke up late and still got a chance to chat with Darkside. Learned about the different categories of 10baseT cable in A+++. (A+ class, incremented by one...)

Darkside advises me to live my life to its fullest. I told him about what happened to Mona. This was before, back when she did speak. ...She wanted to die. We tried. We couldn't.

Too intense. If I loved less fiercely, perhaps I'd be less scary? but never again shall I try killing myself that way. if he'd just had a rheostat, I could have powered him down a turn or two, maybe he would have lasted longer...

Why Darkside?

He still cares about me, as me, as a friend, even though I love him. Even though he's not always cozy with the intensity, he doesn't want me to be anyone but myself.

Whoever that is. Singular or plural.

Privacy in the digital age

Thought assignment for English class: What is privacy?

Interesting that I'm writing my deepest thoughts on privacy smack in the middle of an online journal that could be accessed by everyone and his little brother's boyfriend, but hey, that's how I conduct my mental life.

Privacy, to me, is the concept that portions of my life that I do not wish to be public knowledge, remain private. What is private? Knowledge restricted to myself and others that I designate as being able to know such information.

What sort of things do I wish to be private? Not very many things. I don't wish Joe Random to automatically know my personal name upon stumbling upon my online journal. I don't wish Jane Clueful who is acquainted with me online to be able to accurately tag the personal identities of people I mention in my journal. That's a function of privacy that it falls upon me to uphold.

I don't wish randoms online to know my last name. First and second names I use freely and happily; they're just not quite my online persona. Last name is reserved, even in personal use, for certain legal functions like school, banking, taxes. I don't use that name, personally. It's the clan name, and I doubt I'll ever drop it for that reason, but it's not something that really I feel the need for day to day. I keep that private.

Many of the things that get put in my journal would be a matter of public record were the public at school hanging out, or even at my house chilling. The things that get put in with restricted entries are certain private thoughts and motivations, certain operations of my religion, certain financially-linked data, things that other people would prefer remain out of the public eye.

To me, privacy is the ability to secure a space from the public eye, whether it be an online space, home, outdoors. The ability to keep thoughts to self. The ability to keep personal information out of the hands of people who would use it to do harm or annoy.

Ahhh...

...breakfast. Yeah, you heard that right, it's 4:26 and I am just now getting breakfast. Why?

The orange I dragged with me to school this morning had mold inside. Eeew.

Back home: salad. Mmmm.

Direct extension for Dell spare parts for Tigereye

x69937

Dell

The guy who helped me swap over some of my information listened to me ranting rather patiently, and made an oblique reference to other customers having told him to shove certain things in certain places.

I gave him yet another complaint about the shoddy printing of the Dell "service tag" -- Tigereye's has become completely illegible.

Hopefully this time, they will get everything right and I will actually get the part in question ...

Ohhhhh, now the truth comes out. if I just order the adapter, the order will be cancelled.

I am exceptionally angry. I'm bitchy enough to be asking for supervisors, and supervisors of supervisors.

The fuckers hung up on me.

(no subject)

pricewatch
amazon

...Echo will be looking at it and hooking me up. Neighbor came over and gave me a much-needed backrub.