Neep?

Sitting down with a nice tall glass of grape juice/wine (mixed right to have the optimal taste and also send me to sleep soon; evealone shouldn't be too mad, as he's already got a hangover from someone else) to think about things.

Reading the new book on kundalini that I dug out of a bookstore. Making me think. I'm definitely going through some drastic reorganizations. Oh, and today's most definitely Bitchy Witchy Week.

First, I'm definitely getting quite friendly and flirty and affectionate with evealone. Second, I may or may not be falling out of love with Darkside.

On the second part: don't get me wrong. I have loved him since the first day we clasped hand in hand to do works of good, and have not wavered from that since. I haven't, however, been in love with him every single moment of those days.

Darkside's been sending consistant signals these days with both words and body. He's saying, "Please don't get too carried away with touching me; I don't want to get it on with you." While this isn't really anything that works towards my stated goal of marrying him, it is something that my entire system is accepting with very little question. When he told me with his words that he was not interested, and his body told me that if only he and I had a dark corner together, the answer would be different if his body had anything to say about it, my instinct is to believe what the body is telling me, I was confused and uncomfortable and so was he. Now that his mouth and his body have their stories straight, my undermind is listening to him and agreeing that he knows what he's talking about, and it's best to just leave him alone on the topic. After the fiascoes of high school, I have a Thing about giving out interest when it's not returned. Shawn didn't have his mouth/body stories straight, and it tormented me for three years.

I'm generally interested in other men. Unless I'm settled down in a relationship, a good working one, my eyes are all over the place, noticing interesting people (mostly male, at least at DeVry) and wondering what it would be like...

...Being in love with someone, exclusively, is damn good birth control.

But at any rate, I'm flirting with evealone and we're both enjoying it. Will Darkside get pissy and hackle up and destroy the feelings of disinterest he's built up? Who the hell knows, right?

(no subject)

Bleah.

So much for the high and mighty doer of homework. Soon as the gods toss some nice confusion my way, watch out for dying brain cells...

Focus.

Where is it? Where did I put it? How do I get my thoughts organized and on paper? This feels, really, like it should be a vast period of input with little to no output, whereas I'm expected to produce output at the moment, in the form of a critique paper. Ideally, I would be finding a cozy spot and writing out my visions as they happen...

Touch-typing of thoughts automatically makes it so you can have visions, and if you have at least a little control of body while mostly out, you can record... I love technology, My fingers can almost keep up with my thoughts.

Essay draft complete. Whewh.

Critique of “On Classrooms, With and Without Computers”

The article “On Classrooms, With and Without Computers”, by Clifford Stoll, contains a few logical fallacies that weaken what would otherwise be a strong essay.( Read more... )

All dizzy.

Neighbor's friend, the married one with the beard whose eyeballs I was considering pulling out of my cleavage, who shall hereafter be referred to as Skippy, noticed my being dizzy. He recommended water. The calculation is evidently 1 ounce of water per pound of body weight per day. We'll see if that helps the dizzy.

Seriously.

I haven't had the dizzies this bad since I gave blood the one time. Feels a lot like sinus pressure. Can't think clearly. The allergy meds wore off. Feels like the low blood sugar. Feels like...

...Well, like something.

I already had lunch. Maybe I should go get something more to eat, and more of my prescribed water, as the tinge of headache is not a good sign.

Better.

Seems to half have been the water. Got a 20oz bottle of water inside me, as well as a nice salad (chicken Ceasar, DeVry cafeteria style, yum), and am much happier, though still headachey. I don't want to completely swamp myself, though, and will not overdo the water thing.

Tired.

Almost all of the dizziness has faded; with it, the effortless slipping out of the mind and into elsewhere has vanished as well. Can't strain my mind after what won't come of its own accord with focus. Will only get headaches that way.

Ultimately, frustrated, went off to resupply at the store, in preparation for this weekend's Evil Encounter with the Family of Doom. Grandma and Votania have this ongoing battle about pork. Votania won't eat it; Grandma cannot live without it. Grandma tries to sneak it into what Votania is eating; Votania either catches her before, in the act, or doesn't and eats it -- then gets nauseated and winds up barfing, preferably on Grandma's shoes. (That wouldn't go over too well.)

I stocked up on things that pack well and are minimal-fuss in the serving. I got crackers, spray cheeze, a package of those little fruit/jello cups, some diet shakes (Rich Chocolate Royale, dear. Your flavour.) and some more of the butterscotch schnapps. I have a feeling we may be needing the stuff. Little Fayoumis is pretty well indestructable, and there's always monkey cheese. Grandma spoils him rotten.

General updates:

There is still an under-the-skin bruise on my forehead where Darkside crashed into it.

I caught a nap at school this morning. Darkside wasn't able to find me, even though I thought I'd told him where I was going to be.

Speech is cancelled tomorrow. Dawn and I have a lunch date for tomorrow.

Tomorrow also, I have planned two small excursions: the potential getting of combat boots, and the potential reactivation of prepaid cellphone. I'm going out with Votania to hang with her family. Any questions there?

Administrative:

Welcome to several new friends, including vanquishedart, who was randomly surfing interests and ran into me.